Post # 1
Okay bees I have always been so excited and ready to help in any way I could when my siblings got married but I’m getting ready to get married for the second time (last time) and two out of three of my siblings have not been involved at all! Both of them said they couldn’t make it to the engagement party because their kids are in sports (10yrs old & younger) and they can’t miss their playoffs & competition.My brother texted me saying he couldn’t make it after the reminder rsvp text went out. I guess he makes me so mad because his wife didn’t even let me finish telling her about the party when she said they couldn’t come.
I’m really sad & it hurts me so bad that they would not be there for me like I was for them! THey weren’t involved in the first wedding either other then to get the dress or tux & show up. I don’t know how to stay happy & enjoy our engagement party & wedding planning when the people I have counted on the most have let me down.
Am I wrong for being upset & angry?
What would you do?
Post # 3
So sorry your having to feel this way :(. I understand as I am going though something similar with mine.. to the point that they have not even bothered to reply or acknowledge our wedding announcement/Save the Date or my sisters daughter being a bridesmaid!!
Of course it hurts but I realised that I had said I only wanted people at the wedding that truly loved us and as actions speak louder than words… I was able to see that even though they are my family whom I will always love.. I accept that they do not reciprocate that love in return to me. Talking to them only ends in an argument about Why they should bother!!! I guess therein lies the answer…
Enjoy YOUR day with whoever chooses to be there with you and don’t bother wasting energy and love on those that don’t give it back.. because they are not wasting energy thinking about you..
Post # 4
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
You said they weren’t involved with your first wedding, so I’m a little surprised you’re expecting them to be involved now/counting on them the most.
If they rsvp no for the *wedding* because of their kid’s activities, that’s a problem. Not everyone is “into” weddings- I’m sure they’re excited/happy for you, it just sounds like they’re putting their kids first. Dad being at playoffs is a BIG deal to a kid- your feelings will be hurt instead of their child’s, which makes sense.
I’m sure you’ll have a fabulous time at the Engagement Party with those who can make it! 🙂
Post # 5
Well…. since then we had gotten much closer. I think at 6 & 10 a kids playoffs are not anywhere near as important as your sisters engagement party which is a big milestone. Maybe your priorites are the same as theres. My daughter has a dance recital but if someone had a huge event in their life like that happeneing she’d miss it & do it next year, because that’s something that happens every year.
I put my kids first always! That doesn’t mean that they can’t miss a baseball game at 6 or 10.
Post # 6
Thank you so much for your response! It’s nice to know that I’m not the only one going through this or that would be upset about it! I guess you just always expect your brother & sister to be there for you when you need them & in the last year or so that has really changed! It hurts!
I’m glad that I have people who do love me enough & care enough to come! I’m going to do my best to enjoy my day & love those who love me! Thanks so much for the advice!