(Closed) So Dad’s not coming…

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
4327 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

I have a similar family dynamic, so I get you. My only problem is my grandmother is not mobile, and likely won’t live much longer. My father is her power of attorney, and during my honeymoon, I snuck into the state that my father has her in, and visited with her to have that special time together.

Why not explain to your grandmother everything you laid out to the bee? If you put it in perspective and in terms of how important she is to you, and how much it would mean if she would come, do you think that would help? Explain to her you understand her love for her son as his mother, but that unfortunately he does not share that same sort of feelings towards you, and you need her to support you in the ways that he can not.

It may seem grim, but you have 2 months to get your point out there, and to have her re consider. But if it’s too much for her, she is also telling you how much she loves you by being so helpful throught the process. Remember, she is human too. It may not be the perfect outcome in the end if she does not come, but she is by no means abandoning you. Just recognize love where it exists, and be happy for the time you get to share with her. I hope it helps you to make peace with the scenario, whichever way it turns out.

Post # 4
1629 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

If she’s really someone you’re close to and can talk to I think you need to call her and tell her that your feelings were hurt when you heard she might not attend because she means so much to you.  Maybe write down how you feel first so it will be easier to communicate your more complicated feelings.  That’s my best advice on the matter.  I’m really sorry about everything that’s happened with your dad.  Mental disorders are really hard to deal with from all sides.  I hope everything works out. 

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