(Closed) SO demands ring be a complete suprise- No ideas can be given

posted 7 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

wow that is sooo crappy.  doesn’t he want you to be happy with the ring you will wear for the rest of your life?!

Post # 5
Member
1445 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I would voice your concerns. Mention that you will be so happy to be wearing this ring for the rest of you life and you want to make sure you’re both on the same page. You may not need to go ring shopping with him, but perhaps you can offer to show some pictures of the styles you enjoy and that way he gets to pick out the specific ring, and that will be a suprise, but you’ve had some input. Besides, the proposal will be a suprise!

Post # 6
Member
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I can kind of see your fiance’s opinion on this. I was from the camp that wanted a magical, surprise proposal. I didn’t want to talk about marriage too much before hand, or have an “idea” of when he would propose, and most of all, I didn’t want to know ANYTHING about the ring- mostly because I think that puts a lot of pressure on the men, and also, I love a good mystery!

I wouldn’t trade a thing. My husband surprised me with a stunning ring, a WONDERFUL proposal, and a year and a half later, I’m still in love with both of em!

Post # 7
Member
5494 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2011

just start leaving pictures of rings you like around the house.  seriuosly.

Post # 9
Member
1755 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Maybe tell him you’d really like to be involved in ring shopping and see if he’d be willing to propose without the ring and then go shopping together the next day?

Post # 10
Member
3222 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@Meowkers: ditto.

and just send rings to his email with no text in the email. He’ll get the picture.

Post # 11
Member
921 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

accidently leave a picture on the printer or something? i took Fiance to the store i found my ring and told him i wanted that one. we were only going to look in the mall for something and “just happend” to walk by the right store lol

Post # 12
Member
59 posts
Worker bee

i just read your post to my husband and he said “oh man, he’s f’d” lol

his intentions are adorable, but really this is almost like a tattoo, you’ll be wearing it for life; can’t let your SO with completely different taste pick it out with no input from you… a serious talk could avoid problems later.

don’t you see all the “how do i tell him i don’t like it” threads? that will be even harder for you if you don’t like it considering the big production he’s making out of doing it all himself, it would really hurt his pride if you said you didn’t like it later.

Post # 13
Member
1493 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Definitely leave images or drop major hints about what style you like. When we discussed the ring, I had an index card written with my dream ring qualities on it. I’m so glad that I did that. I got exactly what I wanted.

Post # 14
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

If that’s the case, he needs to be okay with you saying “This ring isn’t really my taste, mind if I change it?” after he proposes.

No seriously, YOU are the one who will be wearing it!

Post # 15
Member
660 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Can your BFF, Mom, a sister or other close person give him some suggestions? Of course this would be all their own doing (not prodded by you in any way)… wink wink 😉

Post # 16
Member
1493 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

@MademoiselleL: A couple that I’m friends with had this happen. He got her a pretty solitare with a plain gold wedding band when he proposed. She wanted something more sparkly. By the time they married last year, they reset her diamond in a diamond band with a matching diamond wedding band. I talked to the groom/husband later and he mentioned how surprised he was that she had specific taste in a diamond ring.

Another friend of mine like me had a favorite stunt ring. My husband used it as a basis for my ring. My friend’s fiance took her stunt ring and had a mold made of it, so now she’s got a platinum and diamond version of her favorite ring.

Knowing what she wants is so important!

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