(Closed) So depressed

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2135 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

At least you’re engaged and he made that commitment! Maybe you and him can start discussing budget ideas, if money is the big issue. I am getting married in a state park and paying $75 for my site, maybe you can look into state parks in your area. They are beautiful and so much cheaper than commercialized “wedding” sites. You could also look into a potluck reception, or just a small intimate ceremony and reception. Eloping could even be an option? It is possible to do a nice wedding with a tiny budget! I hope that everything works out and that you feel better soon!

Post # 5
Member
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@sherryberry: I would just give him a break for a while, especially if you were a bit insistent about the engagement. He probably feels like he made a huge gesture with the proposal and might want to enjoy that part for a while. Especially if you are both not financially well off. 

If you want the big wedding, but have no money, then it will take a while to save up anyway. There’s no need to make decisions now.

Post # 6
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@MidwestBride2012: I agree.

Enjoy your engagement, especially if he just spent money on a ring.  Some of us bee’s have had longer engagements – it’s been really nice actually!  A lot more time to work on a budget and really take your time with everything.

Post # 7
Member
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Money is a mood killer!

My suggestion would be to compose a realistic and economical budget…1000? 1500? 500? Whatever you decide, a wedding can be done, with family and friends!

Pot luck weddings, light snacks and drinks, cake and punch, desserts only, brunches, early morning times, fridays, there are a ton of ways to save. Look around the boards for a budget wedding, there are some spectacular ones!

Seems like the real issue here is you relationship with your fiance…perhaps now that you got your ring you need to step away and relax and enjoy each other. So you can have a happy and exciting wedding planning experience.

Post # 9
Member
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@sherryberry: Assuming you meet in the middle and get married in 2 years, then you still have time to put wedding talk on hold for a month or so. Let him enjoy his big moment when he got you a ring. He might feel like you don’t appreciate it, or don’t realize that it was a sacrifice. (By the way, I don’t think that’s true at all – I’m sure you appreciate it and realize the significance.)

Just like you can’t cajole him into proposing, you can’t force him to talk about the wedding. See if he is better after a month. Or, keep nagging if you like the way things are going now.

Post # 11
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@sherryberry: And I have to add, no one said you can’t still do your own research.  Get yourself familiar with wedding vendors, costs, trunk shows, store sales/blow-outs, DIY’s… you can do all of this on your own.  It will actually help you be more prepared budget wise and discuss things when he’s ready to start a plan. You can always grab a 40% off coupon for Michaels and get something, little by little you’ll be working on it. And you’ll be happy because it will be stuff for the wedding.  Scope out TJ Maxx often, Marshall’s, ect.

But the most important thing here is enjoy your engagement!  Go and do some engagement photos and enjoy the moment.

Post # 12
Member
14400 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

If money is the issue, and you need to have a longer engagement to save up money, then you need to start talking about how you are going to save.  My friend had a 2 year engagement because they needed the FULL two years to save.  They talked about the wedding they wanted, how much it would cost, and how long it would take it save it.  Every month for the 2 years, they put away some money toward the wedding.  I would not continue to bring it at up at this very moment, but I would tell him that this NEEDS to be discussed with in the next say 3 months.

Post # 14
Member
104 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Is there any way your family can help financially? My parents are willing to spend a certain amount, and so are we. Unfortunately, my fiance and I have very expensive taste, and we cannot afford to do what we want. His family isn’t willing to help financially, so we either need to settle for something less or save until we can do what we want.

I know exactly how you feel because with money being tight, my fiance never wants to sit down and talk about planning. We have been engaged 3 months and haven’t decided on anything. I have, however, started putting my own ideas in a folder to help me figure out what I want. That way, if time is wasted having to save money, we can come up with ideas quickly since they are in my folder! Just search ideas yourself and I think if you leave him alone for a little while he will be happy to talk about planning in a month or so.

Post # 15
Member
7694 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@sherryberry:

I don’t know what style you are thinking for regarding your wedding-but have you read the 2000 wedding?

 

Post # 16
Member
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@sherryberry: Can you get a part time job? Lots of brides to be do so in order to pay for the wedding they want. I can understand his hesitation if he’s worried about financing the entire thing himself. 

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