(Closed) So devastated and don't know what to do.

posted 9 years ago in Rings
Post # 17
1494 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - B&B

I did want to ask, are you going to just go with one ring, or do you want an engagement ring and a wedding band? I know some people just go with their engagement ring as their wedding ring too… but if you want both, I was going to suggest maybe using the stones from your grandmother’s ring in a simple band to go with an engagement ring you guys purchase on your own.

And DEFINITELY shop around. It can take awhile, but shopping around is best. Especially if you say that! “We’ve been shopping around, and here’s our budget. What could YOU do with that?” It lets the jeweler know there’s competition, and it will help you find someone truly willing to work WITH you. I think it’s fine that your Fiance wanted to “just see” at the first place, but now that you have that starting point, you guys will have to speak up about what you want and how much you have for it 🙂

Post # 18
6317 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@turkey22:  Why not get a simple, inexpensive ring for now, and save up to get the nice engagement ring made?

I understand being smart with money, but I struggle to understand why some ladies feel like they don’t deserve a nice ring. If you budget for it and save up for it like you would a holiday or a sofa or anything else, then is that really an issue?

It annoys me when some chicks demand a 3 carat $30,000+ ring when they’re with a 20something guy who is barely started in his career, but you seem to have the total opposite problem.

Don’t feel guilty. It’s a ring you can be proud of and wear forever and pass down to your children if you have any.

I love jewelry and love getting expensive gifts so I guess I have a hard time understanding where you’re coming from. We’re smart with money, but we also have a budget for fun stuff. It sounds like a nice ring would be something you’d like… just save for it and make sure it doesn’t take away from school or the home. You can have it all… it’ll just take a little more time.

Post # 19
4913 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@turkey22:  How did it end up at $10k?  Are you buying the sapphire?  Because then you can price around for a lab created sapphire which will be significantly less. And I don’t think at all that it sounds silly that you want to use your g-parents’ ring.  I think it’s sweet and sentimental.  Tell us how it comes up to $10k – what is costing you so much money – maybe we can find another option?

Post # 21
540 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

You could get an eternity ring or an anniversary band if you only want one ring. You could save your grandma’s ring for something else down the road 🙂 Breath, you don’t have to spend a fortune, there are lots of alternative choices.

Post # 22
662 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Have you only been to one place?  Shop around, go to smaller local jewellers and see if they can recommend anything that would be cheaper.  If you’re using the stones you already have, and reworking the metal of the ring, it shouldn’t be too expensive.  But it all depends on how much is “too expensive” in your mind.  The thing is, being a goldsmith is delicate work, and there are fewer, more expensive sales rather than lots of little ones.  The jeweller has to make a living, which accounts for some of why the price is so high.

Post # 24
1368 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

After seeing your idea, I eould definitely look at other stores and get several different prices. Thar is an exorbitant amount for a simple design. Yes some sapphires can be pricey, but again shopping around makes all the difference!

Post # 25
445 posts
Helper bee

See if maybe you could get a more affordable, but still beautiful wedding ring now, and then save up for this dream ring for an anniversary, so you wont feel badly about your ring! 🙂 

Post # 26
116 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

If your grandmother’s ring is old and fragile, maybe there’s a way to have a jeweler fix it for now?  For example, fix the settings and reinforce the band?  When you have the funds, you can create your dream ring down the road.

Post # 27
1258 posts
Bumble bee

1. SHOP AROUND! You might get a totally different estimate from a different jeweler.

2. Restoring a ring can be expensive, but still far less than building a new ring from scratch. DH had my grandmother’s set restored for me, and just separaring the two rings that had been fused together, putting them on new platinum shanks, and restoring the integrity of the channels for the diamonds on the sides, was around $2k. We were stunned. BUT, considering the first jewler we talked to told us it couldn’t even be done, I think we did well to try someone else who was interested in doing the restoration work and who figured out ways to make it something we could afford. 

I suggest that you talk to a couple of different jewelers about restoring your grandmother’s ring so that it’s strong again and can be worn safely. I’m going to bet that it’s way under $10k.

3. If it doesn’t work right now to get a ring, don’t. The ring thing is way overdone. I’m honestly find some of the emphasis on rings a bit tiresome. You would think, from the way some people talk, that the ring is the only thing that matters. Don’t let that poison near your head, it’ll just make you put more emphasis on the ring that is sensible. If restoring your grandmother’s ring isn’t something you can do for now, find a small, affordable ring that you can enjoy wearing (guilt-free!) and then put off a larger ring for later, maybe an anniversary.

Sorry you had such a bad experience. I hope it gets better!

Post # 29
684 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Have a look at the natural sapphire company. That price sounds too high given what you are supplying. 

Post # 31
356 posts
Helper bee

@turkey22:  My engagement ring is being made right now, but I’ve been wearing a simple white gold band on my finger as a ‘place holder’ for about a year. The reason I wanted to have my engagement ring made is that I’m using my grandmother’s 22ct wedding band as my band and we had to work out how we were going to work around that.

Lots of options for you but please don’t stress yourself out.  And maybe try another reputable jeweller who is a little more sensitive to your situation.  They ARE out there.


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