(Closed) So disappointed. How do you deal?

posted 5 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Aw I’m sorry Hun. I went off bc 2 months ago and we are pulling out before ttc at end of summer. I have been loosely charting and although we usually pull out we aren’t always 100 on it. We did not pull out a week ago and I’m not sure when I O’d but it was around that time. As much as I’m a little nervous about being pregnant I also know thT I’m going to be super disappointed when I test next week if I’m not. So I don’t have any advice but you’re definitely not alone! Keep at it I’m sure it will happen for you before you know it!! 

Post # 4
1309 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I know it’s hard. It took us 6 months to get pregnant and it never gets easy. But even when all circumstances are perfect there is only about a 20% chance of getting pregnant each cycle so don’t let one negative cycle dishearten you. 

Post # 5
428 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@guitargirl:  I know it’s so tough… Even on the first month. Because like you said; you get a little hopeful and no matter what, it’s disappointing whne AF comes.


But do focus on the fact your LP is sounding quite healthy now (will try acupuncture myself!), and hopefully it should be a matter of time.


To be honest, it’s hard to find other things to think of… I find the first half o the cycle relatively ‘easy’ but the 2WW is always so hard and the few days after AF.

All you can do is what you’ve already been doing; constantly think positive and try to distract yoruself as much as possible.

Unfortunately I haven’t found a magical answer, but getting support from the bees helps 🙂

Post # 6
8882 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Honestly every month that AF shows her ugly face is hard. Getting pregnant really is not easy and it’s totally OK to be upset. It’s OK to cry (I know I did) b/c one day you will get that BFP and it will have all been worth it.

Post # 7
2775 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I think the first month is the hardest for everyone (if it doesn’t happen) because you spend your whole life being beaten over the head with the idea that “all it takes is once” and one false move with your BC will land you pregnant no matter the timing, so when you finally ditch the BC and actively try, you just expect it to happen.

I don’t have any advice, but I’m sorry this hit you so hard and I hope your TTC journey is short and sweet.

Post # 8
12247 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’m so sorry! I hope next month is your month for a BFP!


Post # 9
513 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

@guitargirl:  Totally understand. Last month I started spotting on Mother’s Day (yep, Mother’s Day) and then finally a few days later AF came. I was so, so upset. I swore that I wouldn’t get my hopes again this month…but then I did. And then, today, the day before Father’s Day, I started spotting again and I’m sure AF is going to be here tomorrow. It’s a little easier, but like @sailor: said, we’re told over and over again OMG IF YOU HAVE SEX JUST ONCE WITHOUT A CONDOM, YOU’RE PREGNANT…then you actually want to be pregnant, and it seems so damn difficult. And it’s true, no matter when you do it…and even if you’re both perfectly healthy, it can still take up a year to happen. It’s a very disheartening experience, and it isn’t the fun, exciting time like I thought it would be.

Post # 10
2554 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I know how you feel. I don’t have much advice except that you’ll probably feel a bit better in a few days. We just had our first cycle TTC and were not successful. I had such high hopes (probably too high). Like you said, seeing all the pregnant women/women with babies…it’s so hard! Good luck to you!

Post # 11
2515 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@guitargirl:  i know exactly how you feel. i charted for 2 cycles before starting TTC and my LP was 12 days and then 10 days. my first cycle TTC, my LP was 14 days and i really thought i was pregnant. when AF showed up, i was devastated. i’m not gonna lie, i get depressed every month when AF shows up. i’ve stopped testing early because i saw too many BFN’s that first month. it’s nice to have the support of bees here. 

Post # 12
528 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@guitargirl:  I am sorry to hear this. I have no advice other than all of the women here who are TTC want it so bad that no matter how many BFN or disappointments they get, they keep on keeping on because they want it so bad. I am in my first month of TTC and I feel bad complaining sometimes about how hard it is when some women have been TTC for over 6 months. I just know that we are women, we are strong, and we will be okay. No matter what happens, or how many times we get knocked down, we always get up. Cheer up. Keep on keeping on. You got this.

Post # 13
1272 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m sorry, failed cycles always hurt (I’d know, I had many!) But the first is particularly hard. It does get a little easier when you know the odds are so low even with perfect timing, and when you learn how many pregnancy symptoms you can conjure up when you start looking for them. If you’re like me, you’ll have a whole new set next month, and then different ones again the following month (hopefully you’ll be pregnant by then).

As hard as it is, try to expect the worst while hoping for the best.

And the book The Impatient Woman’s Guide To Getting Pregnant is great for stats, tips and strategies – I read it on my kindle in an afternoon and then used it as a reference and reminder that it can take time.Good luck 🙂


Post # 14
2433 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Sorry :(. Hang in there. Like others have said, there is no guarantee you’ll get pregnant on any given month, even if you’ve charted perfectly.

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