So disappointed in MOH. Wedding is on Saturday.

posted 2 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
3079 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

Yeah she is being shitty and your feelings are completely valid. I’d be upset too – especially the skipping out on the reception. That’s not ok. 

Post # 3
Member
4010 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I was ready to come in and say that people often expect too much from their bridal party…but I would be pissed too  especially all the flakiness. I can’t stand making plans with people who back out at the last minute. At least you know now where your friendship stands and you can start removing yourself if that’s what you want to do. Enjoy this last week of preparation and have a fantastic wedding. 

Post # 4
Member
263 posts
Helper bee

Hmm. Does she have something going on in her life that you aren’t aware of? Seems so weird! Keep us updated on what happens.

Post # 5
Member
426 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Forget being a crappy Maid/Matron of Honor, she is being a wack azz friend. Best friend? I don’t think so. You can ask her to just come as a guest because she has been uninterested in standing by your side. It might end your friendship, but will that be a loss? 

Honestly, if this was my bestie, I would have already had a convo with her. That’s how me and my mostest closest are though. Like, Bish, why have you been acting like a douche rocket? Have I done something? I would never let it get this  far if this was my bestie. Not even because of the wedding, but because if someone is your best friend, you have a friendship above all, and that should be maintained. This girl does not sound like a friend. Try having a frank convo with her. Maybe something is going on. If that yields no fruit, Ask her to step down to avoid stress on your day. 

Post # 7
Member
263 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
seattlest :  Ahhh jealously at it’s finest. I bet that’s part of it. 

Post # 8
Member
153 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

View original reply
seattlest :  In her defense all she has to do is show up to the wedding in the attire.  If she does that she has done what she needs to do as Maid/Matron of Honor.  If she didn’t volunteer to do anything for the bridal shower than you should not have told her to do anything.  That was really crappy.  Bailing at the last minute isn’t cool, but she literally has no job other than show up to the wedding in the dress.  

Post # 9
Member
227 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2019

I’d sit her down for a polite but firm chat. See what she says and take it from there. Honestly if her response isn’t reassuring, I’d politely tell her to come as a guest. Making someone an Maid/Matron of Honor is an honour and the only thing she needs to do is AT LEAST show up and stay throughout the event. If that’s not even guaranteed, then she doesn’t deserve the honour. She’s being an incredibly shitty friend right now.

Post # 10
Member
601 posts
Busy bee

If she was doing this as just a friend, forget that it’s wedding-related, it would be crappy. You don’t bail on plans last minute. You also don’t RSVP that you’re coming to something then not come. I assume she RSVPed yes to the shower and to your wedding reception?

By any chance, are you one of the first to get married? I know my sil was moh in her friend’s wedding a year or two out of college. Ten years later, she talks about how bad she was as moh. She just didn’t know what was expected of her or what was acceptable because she hadn’t been in a wedding before and really hadn’t even gone to many weddings to that point. Could that be the issue here? 

Post # 11
Member
13906 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

If this is out of character for her, I’d venture to say that there’s something else going on here.  Have you tried asking her what’s going on?  Come from a place of concern, not frustration over your wedding events.  

Post # 12
Member
3357 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

View original reply
seattlest :  is your wedding on a sunday night? if so, i dont think you can be mad at her for skipping out early. otherwise, yeah she’s being super shitty and i’d likely ask her to step down.

Post # 13
Member
13649 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I’d be annoyed, too. Not that she shirked non-existent duties, but for her last minute bailing out on plans. I would ask her if everything is okay with her and between you. Of course, regardless of what she says you never know what is going on in someone else’s life. Everything else being equal, all of these incidents combined would normally make me think she has some kind of an issue with you. 

It is also really strange that she only insisted on dressing modestly for your wedding and not others. Has she become more observant recently? Could that be part of all this? Or someone attending the reception she does not want to see? 

Post # 14
Member
2443 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

Disagree with PP saying all she has to do is show up in the dress, I guess that’s true but who wouldn’t feel shitty if their Maid/Matron of Honor all of a sudden doesn’t care to be involved in anything wedding related? It doesn’t sound like you’re being a bridezilla or expecting anything unreasonable, I’d be upset and hurt if I were you too.

If I were you I would talk to her, just ask her what’s up, give her the examples you’ve given us and ask her if there’s something going on, and if she still wants to be in the wedding. You shouldn’t be stressed about this one week before your wedding, I’d try to figure it out ASAP and just put it to rest. 

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