(Closed) So Disappointed, really need to vent!

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

I started to wish my boyfriend would propose around year 2, and he didn’t until year 4! every time an anniversary or holiday came around, I’d get my hopes up. it was hard.  

don’t worry, it’ll come when it is right for you! 

also, didn’t you know 30 is the new 20? you have plenty of time πŸ™‚

Post # 4
Member
361 posts
Helper bee

I can relate the being 30 and wanting to have children. Biologically, our doctors tell us we’re running out of time. 

I can’t make any suggestions for what you should do. I know if I were in that position, the next time he mentioned having children as early as October, I’d casually ask him what happened to being married first. (but the stuff I think of usually backfires). 

Waiting is hard. Patience is a virtue, I do not possess. I just have to keep myself busy. 

Post # 7
Hostess
11168 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

@Sarabara590: It is soooo hard and even more frustrating, believe me. The hardest part about planning for a future is waiting for the pieces to fall into place.

My man and I were together a little over five years when he proposed and I believe the overall response from friends and family was “it’s about time.” I don’t know he waited so long but in the end we are just that much more ready for marriage.

If he is ready for marriage perhaps he has something up his sleeve and your getaway weekend was too obvious? Men are interesting when it comes to these things. My man had plenty of opportunities at special moments but wanted to wait for our annual NYE trip to Yosemite to propose in a very specific spot, maybe your man has the same idea?

If he is talking about all these life changing things he is obviously headed in the right direction and maybe just needs a little more time for the pieces to fall into place. I know it’s hard but just give him the time and you’ll likely be happy that you did.

Post # 9
Member
81 posts
Worker bee

the waiting is really really hard. i had a very similar situation. i thought it was going to happen on our 10 year anniversary trip. definitely did not happen. he ended up waiting 9 more months! it SUCKED the whole time. hang in there and vent on the bee whenever you need to.

Post # 12
Hostess
11168 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

@Sarabara590: I know, I know and I totally get it (more than I want to). I continued to tell my man that I didn’t even want to look at rings until he was serious, I just didn’t want the let down. We looked at rings, looked again and one year later we still weren’t engaged.

Men are curious creatures and he later said he wanted the ring to be amazing (it is!!) and the moment to be perfect. While I was torturing myself while waiting he had a plan and I am thankful that I waited.

P.S. DON’T listen to what anyone else says (easier said than done, right??). So many people have preconcieved notions of when you should be married, what a relationship should be like etc. This is you and him planning a future together and no one else should have a say in when, where and how. I promise things will work out for the best just focus on your life, your relationship and time together and let the labels and jewelry fall into place naturally.

Post # 13
Member
808 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

So frustrating!  I know what you mean….I’m 35, and waiting for the proposal myself.  We want a family, so I try not to listen to the “your eggs are drying up” voices in my head and from my friends etc. 

I realized that I’m still very lucky.  I’ve found the man I want to spend my life with, and while I wish it would have happened earlier, I have friends at 35, 36 who are single and still dating losers.  Thank god that is over!  Now we just wait… πŸ™‚

Post # 14
Member
9917 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

I was in a similar situation until…last Tuesday!  We’ve been together for almost six years.  I turned 30 last summer, the day after my cousin (who is one day younger than my fiance) got married to a girl younger than I am!!!  My bf (I am not used to calling him fiance yet) couldn’t even be there because it was across the country.  It was so hard…but he finally proposed.   We won’t be married for another year, and so we won’t have kids until I’m at LEAST 32.   =(

 

However, my gynecologist told me that a woman’s body doesn’t TRULY start changing until she’s 38, so it’ll be okay!  Also, my mom had me when she was 33, and my brother when she was 36, and we’re both fine.  My BF’s mom had him when she was 34, and her two other kids when she was 36 and then 39.  So we will be okay!

Post # 15
Member
2738 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Awww, it’s too bad he didn’t propose! Maybe he wanted to and chickened out?…maybe he’s still saving for a great ring? You could talk about it with him. I find women who suffer in waiting to be unfair. I’m a go-getter myself. I proposed to my bf! He was completely stunned and said «yes» πŸ™‚ I couldn’t stand waiting around for him to pop the question so I asked him. I’m a high school teacher and I’ve already inspired some students with my story, yay! More power to women πŸ˜‰

Best of luck my dear!!

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