(Closed) SO Discouraged!

posted 7 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 3
20 posts
  • Wedding: May 2002

@RCDBRIDE: I’m so sorry that they aren’t supportive. This sounds like a dream to be married in the Dominican!

Would you feel better if you had a reception closer to them they could attend if many can’t make?

Depending on how professional your photographer is, you could have images ready for everyone to enjoy and view of the actual wedding ceremony at the reception.

This could make your event more personalize and meaningful to just have a few of your closest friends and family at the Wedding and everyone at the reception.


Post # 4
2755 posts
Sugar bee

Eh, I can understand. Times are tough right now and going to a wedding within the continental U.S. is expensive enough, let alone flying to the Dominican and everything that travel like that entails. It’s great if family can and are willing to attend a destination wedding, but that’s not always possible and when planning such a thing you have to be open to the idea that many people probably won’t be able to make it. Have you considered eloping instead and doing a small reception upon your return for family and friends?

Post # 5
111 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

We had similar mixed responsed when we discussed our destination wedding.  Ultimately, you need to decide things for yourself, and come to terms with them: who do you NEED to be present at your wedding, and are they able to get them there?  What I mean is, we invited 45 people to our wedding, but we decided from the beginning, if its ultimately just our immediate families, we will be happy with the outcome.  And those people have already committed, and we are helping where we can.  While we would love for the other 30+ people to attend, we understand the circumstances and have decided we cannot take it personally or get upset if they can’t come.  We will have a very informal party when we get back, but otherwise, we know what we want for a wedding.  Small, intimate, relaxed, fun and with those we are close with, and love, and being able to spend a few days with our loved ones.


Good luck, I was super stressed out at the beginning of my destination wedding planning so I know how you feel!!

Post # 6
1920 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I feel for you. When we first announced our destination wedding, we also had mixed responses. Its very disheartening especially when you’re so excited about it.

However, the best advice I can give is you have to sit down with your Fiance and seriously decide what’s most important to you. Having a Destination Wedding means you get the wedding you want but you have to make sacrafices and people you want may not attend. Otherwise, you go with the traditional at home wedding, which isn’t the exact wedding you want but at least everyone can attend. We had to seriously decide who were we okay with not coming.

And I can tell you it does get better. A lot of people who weren’t happy when we announced came around and are super excited now. Sometimes it comes as a shock to people. But we ended up having 35 people booked now! 

You’re giving people lots of time so the ones that want to be there, will be there. They will make it work. 

Good luck. Wish you the best!

Post # 7
2247 posts
Buzzing bee

I have gotten fairly positive responses, although my Destination Wedding isn’t too far.  Techincally, people could drive there and back home in the same day (4.5 hours) but most people wouldn’t choose to do so since the wedding is late at night. 

However, I have received some negative responses that I’ve just brushed off.  Mainly it’s, “Why so far?”  I knew going into this that some people wouldn’t be able to accomodate a trip, nor could some afford it.  I am fully willing to accept declines from those guests, and I definitely won’t get mad at those who can’t show. 

Don’t let the comments discourage you.  Just continue on with your plans.  No, you won’t have a whopping guest list turnout, but you’ll most likely have your nearest and dearest there, so don’t worry about anyone else.

Post # 8
1586 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

@RCDBRIDE: HELLO! first of all…congratulations! Me and my fiance are having a destination wedding (in mexico) for numerous reasons… top 2 reasons is that we would have a HUGE guest list if we didnt, and its our dream… we are well prepaired to have people not be able to make it. all we’ve decided to do is to apologize, tell them they will be missed and we will be sure to contact tehm upson our return, we also plan on sending out thank you cards… not only to our guests that have gone, but to the ones who werent able to show up. we know that a lot of the reason guest wont be able to make it is financial… either weddings of their own or babies on the way… being laid off… these things we cannot control

If its your dream to get married via destination, whats stopping you? good luck! 

Post # 9
86 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

This was exactly what my destination wedding was: 

Small, intimate, relaxed, fun and with those we are close with, and love, and being able to spend a few days with our loved ones.

marthanotstewart gave great advice! Who do you need to be there?? 

My family and friends LOVED our wedding and said they would travel to the moon for us. 

The only person really close to the family that couldn’t make it was my Sister in law and she didn’t even come to my at home reception… 

Good luck and stick to your Destination Wedding guns- you will not regret it. 

PS- I know of an awesome wedding photographer who is looking to add destination weddings. 


Post # 10
310 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I can kinda understand where they’re coming from, but to say that no one would come to your  wedding is a bit harsh. We’re doing a destination wedding as well, and we’ve gotten some slack about it and all have been from people on his side of the family. “why are you getting married all the way over there, and that’s too far for the family to travel” and bla bla bla. I say go with what you and your hubby feel is right, and take it from there.

Post # 11
1586 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

@RCDBRIDE: another thing you could try is to set up a live video feed connected to the internet that they can watch from home?

Post # 12
182 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

We have gotten a positive response for almost everyone except for one and they were not invited to the wedding in the first place. They made a huge thing to those who were invited about how we were selfish to expect people to come and blah blah blah. we did not expect people to come. We sat down with our families and asked if they would be ok with a destination wedding and they were very excited about this decision. Our families were what mattered to us everyone else who joins is just an added bonus. You just need to decide what is important to you and make sure those you want to be there are on board

Post # 13
2126 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I agree with desiredfocus. I’m having a Destination Wedding in Mexico and his family doesnt’ seem to care to make the trip, even though we gave them about 2 years notice! So, I broke down and booked a site for us to have a reception at when we get back…and it’s not even going to be a small one. I’m dreading it…since I really hoped my wedding day would be the end of this planning nightmare, but it’s for him and his family. 

Post # 15
1013 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012


I am getting married in the DR as well!!!! My family initially had the same reaction. Most have accepted it and are over it already. Now they are really excited about the trip. We invited 80 people and we have 30 confirmed and it is basically just our immediate family that has confimed which is fine with us! We really wanted a Destination Wedding so no mater what happened we prepared our selves for some no shows and people not being able to come. Good Luck!

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