(Closed) So disheartened and emotional

posted 5 years ago in Proposals
Post # 17
Member
3656 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

It seems unfair thatt he keeps telling you when he was going to propose. What exactly are you supposed to do with that information?

I’d tell him to stop telling you or hinting about when he’s going to propose because it just makes it harder for you.

Also, maybe sit down with him and tell him that getting engaged is more important than getting a ring (or a certain kind of ring) if that’s truly how you feel. My Fiance and I got engaged without a ring and without a formal proposal.  We were still able to plan a wedding without those things and will be getting married in April.

Post # 18
Member
233 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: City, State

This situation reminds me of my ex. He kept delaying our engagement due to “wanting to be financially ready”. I told him that I didn’t want a ring, and that I’d be thrilled with a courthouse wedding. He said that he wanted to do things the traditional way, and save for a proper wedding.

We had a heart-to-heart eventually, and he admitted that he wasn’t ready for marriage, and that he wasn’t sure when he’d be ready for marriage. We broke up at that point.

Post # 19
Member
59 posts
Worker bee

I know this is late, but I feel like I have something to add.

 

You know what’s really cool? You guys were in the kitchen together, in a home you share, and you are living your life together. A ring doesn’t change that. It’s nice, sure and both of you want to get married but a life event happened and got in your way. It happens all the time. I wouldn’t be bummed – I mean I know you got your hopes up – but he’s there with you, day in day out. That counts for way more than a proposal does. And maybe it was supposed to happen on a certain day or you wished life didn’t happen and you could have a better budget. There are a ton of things every one of us wants to happen but I think it’s amazing you have someone who loves you, has clearly made it obvious he wants the same things you do and is with you every day. It might take a little more time but that kind of commitment is really important in life, too. 

 

Or if you legit feel like he’s stringing you along . . . like you said in one your responses . . . then it’s time to get real about it. You need to have that conversation and be prepared to walk if he isn’t on the same page as you. If you are going to say it’s now or never, you need to stand behind that statement. If you can’t accept just having a life together then you need to have that conversation and move on with your life. It’s a harsh reality but if he can just keep promising and you stay because of it and don’t expect anything from him he might just not really want to get married but gets you off his back by talking about it. 

 

Either way . . . you need to do what’s right for you, I just hope that if he really does want to get married and life has just not been friendly you stick with him because if you were already married these events could happen to and hopefully you’d still stick by him. You can’t say your loyalty would be higher if you have already got the ring. 

Post # 20
Member
18 posts
Newbee

Im having the same problem 😔I expected my SO to propose this weekend but he didnt… I spent so much of money preparing for this weekend and everything jus blew up… Im so disappointed.. And i know exactly how u feel.. We can never read whats on their minds.. Thats what kills us..

Post # 21
Member
2 posts
Wannabee

I know that feel.  BF had me design and order the ring.  It’s been sitting on the kitchen counter FOR OVER A MONTH!  Everytime I ask about it, he says “soon”.  I’m pretty sure this is how women get murderous.

Post # 24
Member
1013 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: South Lodge. 2nd of Dec 2017

View original reply
devildoll108 :  oh my…. Do you put it on when no ones home 👹, I would 

 

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