(Closed) SO dislikes/hates a family member…

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
4014 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

????It kinda depends on why he dislikes your brother and Future Sister-In-Law. I cant really give advice if Im not sure if the reason is legit or not. I do agree that these “dislikes” can cause tension in your relationship though depending on how close you are with your family and how much you LET this affect  your relationship. I would be very upset if my SO didnt like some of my family members, but i think it would take something drastic for him to feel that way. Everyone has different opinionsand lifestyles, you kinda just have to learn to ‘all get along’ anyways – For the sake of keeping the peace IMO

Post # 4
Member
686 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I know you’ve been posting a lot lately about issues that you’ve been having and honestly? I think you’re stressed out and focusing too much on negative things. You are obsessing over whether he will or won’t propose and this issue to me would be a red flag. Is your gut trying to tell you something? As hard as it is… maybe you need to listen to it.

Post # 5
Member
1629 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I want to laugh that kind of bland, emotionless laugh that is entirely empathetic. People just don’t get along sometimes. I feel you here! Fiance and I have certainly had our share of “I don’t like your so-and-so” or even “so-and-so’s-so-and-so”. There’s been plenty of “my so-and-so does not like you” or “has done this completely unacceptable thing to you”. It’s just part of integrating families. If you feel the way your SO is reacting or expressing himself to be contributing to your stress levels then my best advice is to talk with him about your concerns. Sounds to me like he might be someone who deals with it that way, plain and simple. It’s obviously not enough to scare him off of you!

Less generic advice – my Fiance does not like my brother’s SO! He and my brother go way back and so whenever my Fiance has trouble with my SIL it deeply upsets him. Thank goodness my Fiance has his head screwed on enough to not freak out at either of them. I have to remind him sometimes that she makes my brother very happy. Also, that I love my brother and that he deserves to have a life long companion that HE has picked, not my FI! Just laugh it off if you can.

Post # 7
Member
634 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Not everyone will get along all of the time. BUT, if you fi wants to be a part of your family (when he marrys you) then he is going to have to be polite with them and try to get along.

To me it sounds like he suddenly doesnt like them because theyre engaged now and he is feeling the pressure to propose to you… and he may not be ready for that yet.

Post # 8
Member
4 posts
Wannabee

I’m posting anonymously for this because you’ll soon see why:

I can’t staaand my FI’s sister, neither can most of my family, and 75% of the time, neither can my Fiance.  She is a self-centered brat and if it was up to me, she’d be gone, out of here, audios!  Does this diminish at all my love for my FI?  Not one bit.  I love him so much and I would marry him today sister or no sister.  I’m marrying him and not his family, though obviously they play a big part and we have family get togethers and what not.  But in the end, the day-to-day is lived with my Fiance and him alone.  She doesn’t live with us (nor will she ever, holy shiza) and at times I can handle her.

I would imagine your SO feels the same way.  He loves YOU and it doesn’t matter who else on Earth he doesn’t love.  It just so happens the people he doesn’t love are in your family, but who cares?  It’s you and him that are the marriage and it’s you two who will be together everyday.

Post # 10
Member
185 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Hi Shirinjoon! Something else to add to your plate, eh? I just wanted to say that it’s kind of normal. I know in my family there are a lot off people that don’t like each other and have gotten into confrontation. I generally like everyone I meet – you’d have to be a real hardcore jerk to get on my bad side – but I have seen it in my family and it’s not the end of the world. My sister doesn’t like her FIs brother and he knows it – but it doesn’t hurt their relationship. I think the best thing to do is to keep things civil (and it sounds like he is). It’s not like he has to deal with her on a daily basis – and who know she could change and he could begin to like her more. Don’t worry about it!Smile

Post # 12
Member
519 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

You can’t make people like each other, but you can explain to them that you expect them to treat eachother respectfully despite how they feel. I had this conversation with my dad and my Darling Husband. They really can’t stand eachother but I am not going to hear about it from either side. They can put aside their differences long enough to be in the same room for Christmas, etc. They don’t have to like eachother, but they need to be respectful. Hell, I can’t stand his family most of the time, but I attend family functions and I am respectful of them.

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