(Closed) SO doesn't like first dance song I've dreamt about since 13

posted 5 years ago in Music
Post # 3
Member
6743 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’ve never really had a song I’ve always dreamed of and I can tell you it’s something we cannot agree on.  Both of us don’t like any song enough or think it’s “us” enough, so I understand the frustration.

Don’t lose hope – try to spend some time listening to other songs you can use for a first dance.  You might find one that you BOTH really like. If you don’t, then maybe he will come around to using that song – just keep playing it over and over and maybe he’ll get brainwashed and like it. 😉 lol

You can also use that song as your cake-cutting song.  I think that’s a really significant time in the night, right up there with the first dance. 

Post # 4
Member
1278 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Similar situation in our house. I fell in love w Endless Love and it matched how I feel about Darling Husband perfectly. I was so excited to play it for him and his reply was “That song reminds me of the movie Happy Gilmore because they sing it at the end”. I told him if he could find a better song we both liked then go for it. He tried for a few months, came w some ideas, but ended up agreeing w me that it was a great song. Tell ur Fiance to try to find a better song and maybe he will end up agreeing w u too?

Post # 5
Member
2053 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@MsYankee:  I don’t think you should abandon your teenage dream completely because that is a precious thing, but perhaps, now that you are a lady, it is time to grow toward your future husband together and pick something you both like, especially representative of your first dance with each other as a married couple.

I like your idea of incorporating the song in some other way, maybe for your cake cutting and then dancing into the song before it ends?

Post # 6
Member
999 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Maybe you could use the song you really like for your last dance? I also like the idea of it being a cake cutting song.

When I was growing up I dreamt about dancing to a country song. But that’s not happening. So I’m incorporating country songs into other parts of the reception.

Post # 7
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

That’s the tough thing about wedding stuff we start dreaming about as kids or teends – it’s all based around a wedding about you, rather than a wedding about you and your Fiance, your bond and relationship together and what BOTH of you like. I had a couple of tideas like that when it came to our wedding that I basically just had to let go because they didn’t fit anymore now that I had this awesome groom in the icture with his own likes, dislikes, and interests.

 

I’d say either find a different song and work yours in somewhere, even if it’s jsut playing it later on during the night and having your Fiance promise to dance with you during it, or maybe there’s another part of the day where the song selection matters more to him and you two can compromise – my Darling Husband really, really wanted a cover band he likes that does a lot of Beatles music for the reception. I was okay with it, not my favorite but I knew it was important to him. I cared more about the ceremony music and first dance and am a Taylor Swift nut – he feels about her much as I do about the Beatles, doesn’t mind and likes her okay, but not his first choice. Luckily since we cared about different areas more, we were able to compromise and had Taylor music for the ceremony and first dance, and then he got is cover band for the reception. Is there an area he really cares about like that where you two could have some give and take going on so it’s still fair and representative of both of you?

Post # 8
Member
46376 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I hope you can find a song you both love.

 

Post # 9
Member
1755 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@MsYankee:  Choose a song together and use that one elsewhere in the reception.  Your first dance should be about both of you and should be a song that you’re both happy with.  I know it can be hard to let go of something, but sometimes it’s for the best.  And perhaps there is a reason he dislikes it?  Maybe ask him if the song has any negative connotations.

I wanted Sarah McLachlan’s Ice Cream for our cake cutting song and Mr. C said no.  We ended up having a fight about it.  When we calmed down, he explained that it had been on the muzak line up at a job he’d had and he’d heard it so many times he couldn’t stand it.  Once we calmed down and he explained why, I got his logic and we chose another without any further drama.  Ever since then when he and I don’t agree on something for the wedding, I ask him to explain why he feels that way and am able to discuss things much more rationally.

Post # 10
Member
1134 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Same sitution for me. Since i was a teenager i knew i had to have Amazed by lonestar to dance to for my first dance. Well, my fiance doesnt want that for the first dance, he wants the song he proposed to me with, Areosmith idont want to miss a thing. We are compromising, we will use both songs, but the areosmith for the first dance since it has meaning for us.

 

Good luck finding the song! Def play your dream song tho at some point and dance with your hubby!

Post # 11
Member
582 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

totally know how you feel…i was dying for “In Your Eyes” by Peter Gabriel.  Fiance just couldn’t get comfortable “dancing slow” to that (we practiced in our living room).  So, we picked another first dance song and are incorporating the Peter Gabriel song into our wedding video.  Works for me! 

Hope you find a song you both like and can also find a way to work all these songs into your special day!

Post # 13
Member
3257 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I didn’t read all the replies on this one, so I’m sorry if I repeat anyone else’s comments.

So here’s my male perspective.  If you’ve wanted to dance to that song at your wedding since you were 13, to me that means you’ve envisioned dancing, to that song,  with every boyfriend you’ve ever had, and with maybe with a couple of celebs you had crushes on when you were younger.  That might make me feel like an interchangeable part in your perfect wedding.

Now, if it really was that important to you, and I liked the song, I would be able to recognize that you’re choosing to marry me, not any of them, and I would want to make you happy and give you your dream.  But if I didn’t like the song, I might be thinking to myself, during the dance, that I’m a prop for your perfect moment, or that this is her dance, not our dance.

You should set a day to listen to songs – and each of you come with 5 possibilities or something, and you listen to each other’s songs, without knowing titles or artists.  That way you’re choosing something together – and maybe he’ll end up liking yours.

But you should tell him how important it is to you – if he finds out 5 or 10 years from now that you didn’t get that song because he didn’t like it, he’ll feel terrible.  Put all the cards on the table – say you’ve always wanted it, but that you also want a song you’re both happy with, and that you want to find another song together.  Have a couple of other suggestions ready.

Post # 15
Member
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

We had our first dance, which then went into a second slow song where all guests were invited to join the dance floor.  I would use it as your second slow song. 

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