Post # 1
We’ve together for awhile. The local team KC Royals are in the World Series. It’s a big deal. I told my SO that I’d like to go our local area where there are lots of bars and a big screen where they will playing the game tonight. He said he didn’t want to go because he has to work early the next morning plus there is no places to sit and you can’t see but that I could invite my sister to go with me. ( he doesn’t care about that when he has guys nights Just sayng lol )
Now my sister and I are going and I also invited another friend of mine. MY SO is now giving me this guilty trip. His words “I really only wanted to hang out with you and cook some steaks and watch the game”. I really don’t want to watch this big deal game at home and feel like an old couple. He hasn’t even been able to stay awake for the entire games anyway. I fee llike going out and he doesn’t.
Has this happened to anyone else? What have you done when one of you wants to go out but the other doesn’t. I just don’t like him making me feel guilty because I’m want to go.
This topic was modified 3 years ago by MissNC.
Post # 2
MissNC: If he didn’t want to go , but instead wanted you to stay home, he should have spoken up at the time. He was being perfectly reasonable in not wanting to go out if he has to work early the next morning. You did exactly what he suggested and asked your sister.
If he really wanted you to stay home with him he should have said so. I would tell him that, in future, it would help if he said what he meant, not what he thought I wanted to hear.
Post # 3
MissNC: I agree he could have said something before instead of telling you to ask you sister.
SO usually will tag along to stuff even if he is tired, which i appreciate, but sometimes I will also realize he is tired and we will have a nice lazy night in. Staying in doesnt make you an old couple! But i do get that it is more exciting to watch a game with other people.
I think if he wants to spend time with you, he has to tag along on this one because he suggested you invite other people. He cant guilt trip for this one.
Post # 4
MissNC: This is my FI. All of it. You need to go out and do what you want. FI is always butthurt I do things without him, but I’m tired of having to wait for stuff to revolve around his work/gym/eating schedule. He’s incredibly regimented, but don’t drag me into it!
Anyway, is this the first game of the series? Stick to your guns and go, then make a plan with him to have a night at home and watch another game.
Post # 5
I think this is a very common issue among couples, especially as you start to get older to where one or both of you who used to want to go out all the time now starts to perfer more time at home. I recommend telling him that you aren’t always going to just do what he wants to do and this outing is something you are excited about. Offer to do something else with him at another time.
Post # 6
If he wanted you to stay home with him and cook steaks, he needs to use his words instead of being passive aggressive.
This doesn’t happen in my relationship. If my FI wants to do something that I don’t, he either goes or I express that I’d like him to stay home and vice versa.
Post # 7
First, Go Royals!!! Second, he should have voiced his desires at the beginning. That’s really crappy that he’s making you feel bad about following through on what HE suggested. Not fair at all. But we love our guys and want to see them happy still. What are the other compromises possible? Could he go to the bar w/ yall until he gets sleepy and then goes home first? If he stays home tonight, you could text him a number of times like “Good play!” to make it sorta feel like you’re watching it together. Trying to brainstorm some way to still be connected, which is what it sounds like he wants.
And, there’s always the game tomorrow night. Only 1-1 in the series, we know there will still be a Sat and Sun game at minimum. Steaks tomorrow?
Post # 8
MissNC: Yeah, annoying that he didnt say what he was thinking from the get go. Thats the issue. Just tell him next time to say that before you make plans.
Post # 9
Curiosity.. how did it end up going tonight?
Post # 10
Tell him to put on his big boy pants and use his big boy words.
Post # 11
MissNC: Tell him that he should have spoken up at the time. My ex did this all of the time and it drove me nuts because he never told me what he really wanted to do and it ended up hurting me in the end. I would just continue to go with your plans and let him know that next time he needs to be more clear. You’ve made plans now.
Post # 12
ellejoy1: Well I ended up going with my sister. I wasn’t about to stay home on a friday night with no kids to watch this big game. He was butt hurt but he ended up going out with his friends because I wasn’t home. (childish IMO) We ended up cooking steaks and watching it at home the next day which was fine but what was wrong with going out one night. We are still young. I wasn’t asking to go to a club and get drunk. lol.. He apologized later but I hope he got my point that I was trying to make.