(Closed) SO dumped me to see if I'd fight for him? …. confused

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 47
Member
9134 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@Skrilla:  He has some major issues.  I would take this as a sign that this relationship is over and move on.  At the very least he has some anger control issues and at the worst he’s trying to gaslight you.  You don’t play mind games with people you love.  Take him at his word that he wanted to break up with you and leave it at that.  Block his phone number and FB account and stop communicating with him.  He’s an ex and since you only dated a few months and don’t have kids, there is no need to remain in contact with this psycho.

Post # 48
Member
810 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@Skrilla:  Okay, I was just wondering if there was an element of truth to what they said.

Post # 49
Member
52 posts
Worker bee

Best of luck.I’m not unsubscribing due to the popularity 🙂

Post # 50
Member
1646 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

@Skrilla:  

1. No, you did nothing wrong. He did by acting like a child and by putting your lives at risk by accelerating that quickly.

2. Do no take him back if he offers. He’s shown you exactly what type of person he is and what type of life you’d have to look forward to together if you stay. Is that what you really want for yourself?

3. Block his phone number. Change your phone numbers if necessary. Make it tough for him to try and contact you.

4. If he contacts you again tell him to stop. Also tell him that you’ll be contacting the Police if he doesn’t leave you alone. If he contacts you again, then take all the converstions and texts and go to the Police. What he is doing is harassment.

Post # 51
Member
9580 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

He sounds like a piece of work. I’d move on and stop responding to his texts. You deserve better than some man-child who likes to play head games.

Post # 52
Member
12315 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

He’s pulling this crap a few months into your relationship?  RUN.  Run fast!  This is not normal and there are red flags everywhere.  Anger management, insecurities,  a personality disorder,  who knows?  And really, at that point, who CARES?    

You may not have given him the response he was looking for when he was venting to you, but his behavior in the car was so out of proportion and abusive that in your place that would have been the very end of things for me right then and there.

And if that wasn’t bad enough, instead of taking responsiblity and owning up to it, he follows up by turning tables on you and twisting things in some pathetic attempt to make it all about himself.  The line about no one ever having the nerve to walk away from HIM was revealing. 

To be honest, I would strongly and genuinely suggest some counseling for yourself.  You need to  figure out why you would even consider taking a guy you’ve been dating for only a few months, who is capable or treating you this way, back! It would be very good IMO to have someone to talk to about this in person.  

Clean breaks are best. No more texting, emails or meetings for closure.  Make sure he has no copies of your keys or change your locks.  As good as this guy may look to you on paper or as attracted as you may be to him and his family, he’s not worth it. 

Post # 53
Member
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Kukahiko Estate

@Skrilla:  I had an ex-bf that broke up with me to see if I would fight for him as well.  We were having a tough time and without going into it, we decided to stay together.  I had to leave the house to do something, and when I got back he had left me a post-it note that said “I cant do this anymore, I’m done”

Ignoring the ridiculousness that is using a post it note, I was very hurt and sad, went to a gfs house to vent / talk / whatever.  I tried to contact him and he ignored me, even changed his facebook status to single before actually talking to me about it (also ridiculous).  I figured that was it.  A few days later he finally was able to talk to me and he said he only did it to test if I would run after him to try to find him, whereas what I actually did was go to a gfs house.

My advice is stay away from this guy….if he needs to be reassured that you “love” him by groveling at his feet and pleading to get back together that is ridiculous.

Post # 55
Member
303 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

@Skrilla:  He is crazy as Cooter Brown. He has fleas and if you persist in staying with him, they’re bound to get on you too. Don’t let his black cloud spoil your sunshine. Leave him and his crazy on the other side of town.

Post # 56
Member
240 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Hired hall

Run in the opposite direction. You don’t want to be with someone who is playing games and using a breakup as a test, and from the sounds of things you already know this. I know it’s hard to let go of how he made you feel at first, particularly in the wake of your divorce, but you are much better off without him. Stay strong 🙂

Post # 57
Member
2959 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Oh you definitely missed the bullet with that one. Consider yourself blessed. Those little glances into his psycho behavior are HIM, the real him. Should he contact him again say that you have given up on him – that he is simply not worth the effort and to leave you alone. Wish him well then block him from calling you, texting, contacting on Facebook, etc.

 

 

Post # 58
Member
10985 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

@CakeyP:  

This plus 10,000.

Post # 59
Member
2129 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

@Skrilla:  

Don’t ignore your gut..that man is craaazy!

Post # 60
Member
4823 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@Skrilla:   Glad you are going to let that one go – he sounds like bad news.

Best wishes in your healing and finding someone who appreciates and deserves you.  *HUGS*

Post # 61
Member
5891 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

@weddingmaven:  RE–going into therapy–Actually I think @Skrilla:  did a pretty good job getting out when she did. I think the divorce along with the amazing first months may have thrown her radar off a little bit. Things she did wrong–not seeing that being “tempermental” is often the first step down the abusive highway. And still being in contact with him after the scary car ride. But most of us give people the benefit of the doubt. So I can see myself thinking, “Maybe he’s had a bad day” after a temper tantrums. I’d take it as one data point and wait to see what else happens. (Until recently, I didnt know that scary, dangerous driving is a sign of abuse)

What she did right–walk away when he broke up with her. And stay broken up even when he continued contact. How many women on WB or real life would have gone back “to give him another chance”, especially when the first few months are amazing. The other thing she did right, come to WB 😉 Sometimes life just messes with your head and you need your WB girlfriends to set you straight. 

That being said, @Skrilla: your divorce may have scrambled some thing internally and it never hurts to see a therapist to help you process everything you’ve been through. 

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