Post # 1
Late last night I just cried and cried and cried. I have no idea what’s wrong. I had a good weekend. There was a fair amount going on, but nothing bad per say. I went from talking with Darling Husband about how happy I am with how things are going, to crying and wondering if I’m really as happy as I said I was. Darling Husband was asleep and I didn’t wake him. There wasn’t anything really wrong as I was crying or any particular thoughts in my head, I just couldn’t stop. Maybe I just needed to cry. I get that way sometimes, where if I haven’t had a good cry in a while, I get a little more emotional until I just let it all out, although I don’t know exactly what “it” is.
We’re worried a bit about finances with the baby on the way, DH’s dad is having surgery today, my dad came out to put insulation in our attic and slipped so now he has to come back out to fix the hole in our ceiling, and Future Mother-In-Law canceled Christmas with the extended family which SIL and I are upset about.
The only other thing I thought about after I was done crying was Mother-In-Law saying yesterday that she things I am in for a huge wake up call when I have the baby. It was a little judgemental when she said it too. I think that has lingered with me because I think she thinks I won’t be able to handle being a mom very well. I know you can’t fully prepare for childbirth or parenthood until you’re in it yourself, but I am doing everything I can to read and have my eyes as wide open as possible. I don’t expect it to be perfect; I don’t expect to be doing everything in the first week. I go to bed late 11 or 12 and sleep in on weekends, trying to get 9-10 hours Fri and Sat nights, but I do okay with very little sleep (thank you grad school) and am well aware that things will change. MIL’s just been very judgemental about our hopes for childbirth, since I want to go natural and if I have no complications, am planning to refuse induction and pain meds. She keeps making comments like my hopes for natural childbirth are more important than the healthy delivery of our baby, which couldn’t be farther from the truth.
Now as I’m writing this, maybe it is really what’s bothering me, although her opinions aren’t anything new and I usually just ignore it. My parents are constantly telling me that I’ll be a great mom and things will be okay, and while Mother-In-Law makes comments, I know she is thrilled for us, excited to have a grandchild and really will be there to love and support us.
Post # 3
I’m sorry you’re feeling emotional – I get like this sometimes too (and I’m not pregnant, so no hormones to blame) but I need a good cry once in awhile.
It definitely seems like what’s bothering you is your MIL’s attitude. I know this isn’t true 100% of the time, but I think even most of us who like our MILs feel criticized or not supported by them once in awhile. It seems to be the way of the world that they will always think they were better mothers, better wives etc. Whatever
Listen to your own parents – other than your Darling Husband, you’ll never have bigger supporters than them – and have faith that you will be a great mom. Of course things change once you have a baby, but a “huge wake up call?!” You sound prepared.
My friends who have had babies say that in spite of the exhaustion (and pain of childbirth) it is the best thing that’s ever happened to them, and they’ve never been happier. Also, don’t be afraid to share this stuff with your Darling Husband. You can discuss how happy you are and cry over the stress/unhappiness in the same hour, haha. I’m sure he’ll be supportive, and maybe even intervene with his mom a little bit. Those comments are unnecessary.
Blame the hormones, smile at your MIL’s little jabs, and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy!
Post # 4
It sounds like you just have a lot going on and aren’t able to pinpoint exactly what it is. Sometimes you just need a good cry, I totally get like that a couple times a year. No idea why, but then i just feel better.
Your Mother-In-Law just needs to hush. What the hell is with all these mothers trying to scare/judge the piss out of everyone else? it’s so rude and condescending. My mom is like that too (tells me women are lazy if they don’t Boyfriend or Best Friend or do XYZ ‘for their children’, gag) and it’s so obnoxious. I have one friend who is a solid voice of reason in all this mess of people saying “just you wait” and “oh you don’t know anything yet”. I want to throw rocks at those folks =]
Tell your husband to have a chat with his mom about how the peanut gallery comments are unecessary, stressful, and completely non helpful.
Post # 5
I totally understand being upset. And I know that I am SUPER emotional now that I’m pregnant. EVERYTHING makes me cry, and an emotional reaction that should be a 3 or a 4 is usually a 7 or an 8. Hang in there hon. Things will feel better soon I bet.
Post # 6
It sounds like that comment your Mother-In-Law made really hit home. I think parenting is a hit for everyone, but most people figure it out, right? Or there wouldn’t be so many healthy/happy babies out there. And it sounds like you’re ahead of the game in a lot of ways. Plus, once your little one gets here, you’ll get a lot of experience in a very short amount of time. 🙂 You’ll be fine.
As far as the emotional stuff goes, well, I don’t have much advice. I’m still way more emotional now than I was before I got pregnant. I think all those extra hormones really do a number on you. Just go with it; I found it’s a lot worse if I try to hold stuff back than if I just accept that I am upset and that I need to cry.
Post # 7
Comments like that are no good for you! I went through this during and after my first pregnancy. My mom told me she couldn’t imagine me being able to give birth she said I didn’t have a high enough pain tolerance! It made me so mad! Just the thought that she could do it but didn’t think I could?
Well I ended up having to have a c section so this really gave her fuel! By saying vaginal childbirth is such a harder recovery and c sections are so much easier etc ( keep in mind she never had a c section)…just underminding me more.
I think you should maybe tell your hubs how she is making you feel. You shouldn’t have be judged and criticized during you pregnancy. It should be fun and exciting!! I wish I told my mom how she was making me feel instead of bottleing it up…
Post # 8
Just typing it out really helped. Last night it didn’t seem as though there was a reason, but I think it’s a lot of things, especially my MIL’s comments this past weekend.
I’ve been trying really hard to keep my emotions in check, since a few people at work noticed I was a little more short than usual one week. (It was really just a bad and very busy week). I guess I just need to let it out now and then. I’m a little sad that I feel like I can’t talk to my Mother-In-Law about baby stuff because it makes me so upset. Despite how much she loves Darling Husband and I, she is very opinionated and can be passive aggressive in her remarks when she’s trying to hold things back.
I’m so glad I’m not alone in this or going crazy.
Post # 9
OMG.. Speaking of emotional..
A few days ago.. I started crying.. and then laughing uncontrollably at the same time. Darling Husband freaked out a little because he didn’t know what was going on.. and neither did I lol. It was THE WEIRDEST thing to ever happen to me. lol