(Closed) So everyone wants us to elope? Well fine then.

posted 8 years ago in Elopement
Post # 3
Member
3314 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’m not sure what else to say but *HUGS*

Post # 4
Member
3620 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Why not have your bridal party be the witnesses since they’ve already committed to being there for you at your wedding?! It’s much cheaper to elope… I’m pretty sure if I did it all again, I’d hop on a plane to Vegas. At the end of the day, it’s about you and Fiance. Do what works for you, and if there are toxic people in your life who detract from that, you’re better off celebrating your love without them.

Post # 7
Member
49 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I think if you want to have a wedding, you should be able to. Your friends had their weddings and even if they are jaded now after years of marriage or maybe wedding debt, they shouldn’t be pushing you into eloping if it’s not what you want to do. I struggled with this same thing – we are going to Hawaii to be married (just the two of us). Unlike you, there was part of me that never wanted a huge wedding. It just seemed easier to elope because we just bought a house and we decided it would be better to save our money for other things. I’m 35 and want to start a family soon as well. More money for baby! =) I have to say though, that sometimes I get sad about not having a big wedding. When you elope people usually think you don’t deserve a bridal shower either. We aren’t having a reception when we get back because we are coming back a week before my fiance’s brother gets married. I sort of feel like my wedding has been forgotten a little bit. Like it’s not as important as a real wedding. In the end though it’s our wedding and all I care about is us having a wonderful time, even though I will miss some of the little things about having a big wedding.

Post # 8
Member
3314 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Have you sat down and talked frankly with everyone about this?  I know I got a few little comments about whether I wanted to go through with the formal wedding or not (my hubby and I were married by civil ceremony 6 months prior due to immigration requirements), but when all was said and done, they all really wanted to be a part of it.  Maybe just lay your feelings out on the table and see what people say?  

I know how you feel though… the civil ceremony was surprisingly much more then I expected, but it still just didn’t feel complete until we had the formal ceremony with both of our families and close friends present!  

Post # 9
Member
1872 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I think that you need to take a step back and calm down, because suggesting an elopement–particularly in a joking manner–does not mean that the person doesn’t want to come to your wedding. I think you’re taking it a bit too personally. And having an elopement out of spite (or threatening to) just seems like you’re cutting off your nose to spite your face. I agree that if the comments are getting to you, you can talk to your family and tell them that you’re starting to take them personally to mean they don’t want to come.

A lot of people talk about elopements simply because they’re just commenting on the stress and time and money a big wedding requires. It’s more of a cultural conversation that probably has little to do with you and your wedding specifically.

But the part that caught my eye was this: “FI comes at me talking about how he wants to just elope.” Is that true? Because although there’s a lot of talk about it being “your” day, it’s really HIS day as well. So maybe you ought to check in with Fiance and make sure that your vision for the day isn’t getting too big for him. I’m not saying it’s either big wedding or elopment, but he may be wanting something more intimate.

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