Post # 1
So bees…. May 2012 keeps seeming further and further away. What sparked this? Last night I went home to see my family for my brother’s birthday. When my grandparents got there I was just stunned. It’s been a few weeks since I last saw them and they look…well. They look really bad. 🙁 To me, for the past year they have been really aging in front of my eyes. I’m not sure if this is appropriate, but my grandfather has a yellow-ish tint to his skin, which I associate with “not much time left.” I know that sounds horrible the way I described it. They’ve always looked the same to me, but over the past few months I’ve just realized how old they look every time I see them (they are old – Gpa just turned 80 and Gma is 76.)
Anyways it really got me thinking that they will not be there for my wedding because we are going to be engaged for so long. 🙁 I know it’s stupid, and Fiance and I agree that next year is best for us. I know we could move it up a few months, but what does that do? If something happens to my grandparents before my wedding, there are plenty of days before 2012 for that to happen. I just don’t know. I feel terrible, but I know that May 5, 2012 is right for Fiance and I, though we could go back to our original date of Feb 4 if we wanted to….however I’m really excited for my Cinco de Mayo theme and just. Well. Buh.
I cried on the way home. I couldn’t help it. I’ve never posted an “emotional” post, really, but I could use a few words of encouragement or something. I don’t know. If no one responds that’s okay too, I just needed to write it.
Post # 3
@AmeliaBedelia: It’s terrible thinking things like this, and there really is no easy way to deal with it. Has your grandfather been to the doctor at all? Maybe you should discuss your feelings with your parents? See what they know.
I’m so sorry. I hadn’t ever dealth with loss until about 4 years ago when I lost my aunt. She wa like my second mother, and my grandfather followed not long after. It never gets any easier.
Enjoy every moment you have with them. Call them often, stop by their house on a whim. Cherish them.
Maybe you should have a heart to heart with your grandparents. Ask about their well-being,
Sorry I don’t have better things to say. I suck at these things.
Post # 4
I feel the same way. My grandparents aren’t as old but they have a fair amount of health problems between them. I don’t think you should move your date… if you really feel you should, then switch it by all means. No one can possibly know how much time someone has left.
Post # 5
I’m so sorry… that is tough. I think you probably know however, that they know that you are happy. And that’s really all grandparents ever want for their beloved grandchildren. To see them happy, healthy and in love. What’s really important to them is already what they are seeing now. Just love them and visit as much as you can in the meantime and you will never regret it.
Post # 6
@Mrs.tobe: I have talked to them briefly, but they downplay anything health-related. They say it’s “just a doctor’s visit.” So I know they go to the doctor regularly, but it’s just really the outward appearance that is getting to me. They have really slowed down in the last year as well. I’m trying really hard to get down there when I can, but (I hate to say this) my schedule is really busy and we live 2 hours away right now. I see them every few weeks, but just can’t help thinking that’s not enough (even though it’s unreasonable really to drive down there so much, esp with gas and being broke). Thank you for your words. It did help me. 🙂
@Gingersnap: Yeah I think my issue is really that I don’t feel moving my date will do anything and it’s more that I’m just coming to terms with reality — that they might not be there. It’s just not a thought I had ever had.
@KatyElle: Thank you so much, you are exactly right. My Gpa used to bug Fiance about when he was going to propose and when he finally did, the satisfied smile on his face and my gma’s hugs couldn’t be replaced by anything. I hope we can be as amazing as they are. They have been married for almost 60 years.
Post # 7
I’m so sorry. I can relate – one of my grandfathers passed away this year, and when I see my other grandfather and grandmother, I also can’t help thinking that they seem so much older than they should be. They’ve always been very young and active for their age, and it seems like in the past couple of years their aging has just suddenly accelerated. It’s a strange feeling, for sure. But as KatyElle has said, what’s most important to them is your happiness. They want you to have the best possible life. If having a wedding in May 2012 is part of your best possible life, that’s what you should be doing.
Post # 8
@Beluga: It really is a strange feeling/experience to watch. I feel so helpless watching (not one of the easiest things for me, in general). I truly hope nothing happens, but I’ve just had this feeling for a while and can’t help but think the way I am. Yeah Fiance would not feel comfortable moving the date up, and I wouldn’t want him to feel uncomfortable with it. Thank you for your words.
Post # 9
I have some of the same concerns you do, mostly with my grandfather though. He can barely get around, his hearing is almost gone and I can just tell he’s getting much older. Not to mention that my Future Mother-In-Law and Future Father-In-Law both have health problems.
Sometimes I wish FH and I could just go ahead and get married while everyone is still able to get to the wedding, but I know that’s illogical.
Post # 10
@SouthernGirl: That’s exactly how I feel. It’s such an awkward/frustrating situation to be in – sorry you are in it too. :/
Post # 11
Just wanted to say that I can totally relate! I am actually almost crying reading this. My Great-Grandmother is so incredibly important to me and the thought of her not being at my wedding is so scary. I will say prayers for you that everything goes well. I think it is so wonderful you have such a great relationship with them!
Post # 12
- Wedding: June 2011 - Sydney, Australia
I know exactly how you feel – I’ve been worried about my gran (who suffers from Breast Cancer) for the whole time we’ve been engaged, and even before! With the wedding three months away now (FINALLY) I’m just hoping and praying everyday that she’ll be there to celebrate with us. Though in the awful circumstance that something happens and she can’t be there, I know she’d still be there with us in some way. Hugs to you.
Post # 13
I’m so sorry for you! I’ve been engaged for almost a year and a half and last year took FOREVER. My uncle and aunt whom I’m very close to have always been like grandparents to me and last year between health complications and a car accident, they weren’t doing so well. I wanted to much to bump the wedding up but we decided against it. Thankfully they are both still with us and I hope like crazy they will be for the wedding but I can definatly share your pain! My advice is to do what feels right, either way, you are getting married to the love of your life 🙂
Post # 14
I understand how you feel. Both of my grandmothers were unable to travel to our wedding. They’re both from NY and we live in VA. It wa really difficult for me to accept but I sent them lots of pictures and we went and visited them soon after.
Post # 15
@Corykru: Thank you so much. Sorry you feel the same way, trust me I know it sucks. :/ Many prayers that we will all have our loved ones at our weddings.
@jaguar: You’re so close! Many prayers your way and thank you for your kind words.
@Firefighter_Bride: It does seem like forever. It does still feel “right” for us as a couple, I am just trying really hard to not let myself get into a funk if something DOES happen before then where I’d blam myself (I.e. being selfish wanting that date instead of moving it up or whatnot). I can manage to talk myself into things like that a lot. :/
@Treasure43: That’s awesome that you got to see them after! It’s really hard. You grow up thinking of these certain people that will DEFINITELY be there (in your head) and then you realize that reality doesn’t always want to play along.
— Thank you everyone. I feel a lot better today and know that we need to do what is right for us as a couple, since that is what the wedding itself is about. I know my grandparents will be happy for us, whether in person or in spirit. Thanks again to you all, I really appreciate it. 🙂