(Closed) So fed up and stressed.

posted 5 years ago in TTC
Post # 2
Member
8499 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Whoaaaa bee. I know TTC is frustrating but you need to tame this waaaay back.

Replacing your DH’s drinks with decaf??? I’m sorry but that’s insane. Plus you’re only TTC, you can have those things too! Even when you’re pregnant caffeine and baths in moderation are totally fine. You still need to live your life despite TTC, because you will drive yourself crazy otherwise.

If you have very irregular periods perhaps it’s time to talk to your doctor about it. An online period tracker will not work for you unless you have a very typical schedule, which is sounds like you don’t have. I used OPKs when I was TTC due to my wonky periods.

Post # 3
Member
717 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016 - Montego Bay, Jamaica

All I want to say is I think you are totally stressing your self out! Seriously he can’t take a bath or drink regular pepsi? That’s crazy. 6 months feels like a long time but some people struggle for years before they conceive. 

Post # 5
Member
1168 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I think TTC is just like marriage, parenting, work, etc… Pick your battles.  Cigarettes – I’d fight that one, a pepsi here and there – let it go!  I know its easier said than done, but you will drive yourself crazy if you dont.  I would recommend going to your OB and asking about your irregular periods.  How irregular are they? 

The good news is you most likely have plenty of time.  32 is young for infertility.  I’m turning 30 soon and in the middle of IVF for baby #2 and they mentional all the time how young I am.

Post # 6
Member
34 posts
Newbee

View original reply
v123a :  I just wanted to say I sympathise with you and give a big virtual hug! I know it can be so stressful TTC, especially with irregular cycles.

I was in the same boat and my best friend convinced me to go to the doctors about, I hadn’t always been irregular so blamed myself and hoped my period would come back soon. It stressed me out so much. long story short I was diagnosed with underactive thyroid, and unexpectedly found out I was pregnant at the same time. 

It will really help put your mind at rest speaking with a doctor and at least to have it on your records that you are concerned. Also, have you used opks?

Good luck, stay strong and remember your partner wants this too! Men in general don’t seem to get as invested as we do (in my opinion)and don’t read every piece of information out there once we decide it’s time for a baby. 

Post # 7
Member
834 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2017 - historical mansion

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v123a :  Sorry that you are feeling upset and stressed out. I understand that six months feels like an eternity, but it’s actually fairly average in terms of TTC. If you are under 35, they have you wait 1 year to do any testing. As for caffeine, as long as your partner isn’t drinking like 8 cups of coffee a day, you should be fine! And I’ve never heard anything about baths! My husband drinks coffee and a moderate amount of alcohol and also takes baths, and we got our BFP this week, so I really would not get too obsessed with those things. I know it’s easier said than done, but try to relax and enjoy the process. Good luck!! 

Post # 8
Member
7991 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

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v123a :  ttc is frustrating, especially when it doesn’t work. but a period tracker doesn’t tell you anything.  if you use opks, you will have a better idea.  temping will give you the best picture. you also say your periods are irregular.  i would ask you gyn to give you a progesterone test to confirm if you are ovulating.  then suggest your DH get an SA (sperm analysis).  that is the least invasive of tests.  then you know what you are dealing with.  if you would look to persue an RE or keep trying on your own.

View original reply
apostrophecatastrophe :  not true.  i was 32 when i started ttc, after 4 cycles i asked my gyn to do the 21 day progesterone test and after 7 months of AF continuing to arrive, i suspected there was a problem.  we made a consult with an RE and started testing. the RE didn’t bat an eye or question why we didn’t want to wait a full year.

 

Post # 10
Member
439 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

The pp gave some great insight. I just wanted to add that having this much stress is not good for you or your health. High levels of stress can make it more difficult to get pregnant.

Post # 12
Member
1168 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

My OBGYN’s nurse told me they can refer you to an RE after 6 months, but the doctor reallly wanted to wait the full year.  Infertility treatments aren’t cheap or a walk in the park, but neither are babies.  Before my son I said I would never do IVF.  Here I am 4 years later doing IVF.  If you want it bad enough IVF/adoption/more TTC/etc will be worth it.  

Post # 13
Member
1919 posts
Buzzing bee

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v123a :  Just wanted to pop in and give a virtual hug! I totally get this – my SO smokes, drinks a lot of caffeinated energy drinks, generally doesn’t take very good care of his body (eats one big meal a day because he works through the rest of his meals), and LOVES his baths. I’ve been eyeballing him about this for quite awhile. We’ve been at this now for 10 months, and I also have irregular periods so I know that I’m part of the problem but I have to wonder if it’s not our only problem. He made one comment to me early on about tracking my cycles and taking it more seriously, I’m like – really, dude? I’m taking prenatals, cut back on my smoking, drinking more water, and making sure to get more rest. Who’s not taking it seriously, here? LOL. He’s like – oh. This baby thing was mostly his idea since I’m like you and have moments where I’m like – ooh, baby NOW! But most days I’m the one who hard passes whenever anyone offers me their baby to hold. I know it’s different when it’s your child, and I know I want one, and I knew that it would take awhile, and it gets frustrating. *big hugs* Welcome to the TTC boards! The Bees here are super supportive. I suggest joining the POAS boards every month if you want extra support. A lot of bees have been trying awhile and it’s a great community.

Post # 14
Member
1758 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

View original reply
v123a :  I get it, I’ve been there but you need to calm down. It took me a year to fall pregnant and it is seriously the most frustrating thing I’ve ever done but the occasional Pepsi isn’t going hurt your chances. 

I had irregular periods as well, I really think you should be doing OPK’s and temping because you don’t really know when you are ovulating till after the fact.

I don’t know how much a period tracker will help, I would suggest downloading fertility friend and inputting your temperature, cm and opk results and you will get a much more accurate fertile period. 

In the end we bd every other day from early on and when I got a positive OPK we bd every day until my temperature confirmed ovulation had happened. It worked for me with the irregular periods so just a suggestion. 

Good luck! 

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