(Closed) So fed up with FI’s family…

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
2703 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

im right there with you girl.

we just got a YES rsvp YESTERDAY. a friend from FMIL’s last job (from 30 years ago)

pardon my french, but who F*in RSVP’s 4 days from the WEDDING DAY!?!?!??!.

so i called Future Mother-In-Law and of course, we have to make room for her “dear friend.” so i try to insert her and her husband into one of our tables that aren’t maxed out at 10… oh no, that wasn’t good enough. she (FMIL) shuffles around 2 tables, to pair certain ppl together, changing 4 tables around. (BMs and i just finished our placecards the day before)….

aljdf;aj;sdfja;df; more work for rude etiquette.

 

Post # 4
Member
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Yeah, this is why we specifically didn’t involve our families in the guest list process.  They’re not paying for it, and we don’t want them to because then they could say who comes.  When my family or his get on my case about well so and so want to bring their kid – I’m like okay that’s fine…it will cost $65 for the meal, $55 for additional table and linens, and $60 for an additional centerpiece I accept cash or money order.  That usually gets them to shut up.  They’re usually a little more willing to find a babysitter given those numbers.

It’s mean but I’m tired of it LOL

Post # 5
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

personally if its just one child I wouldnt mind..

Post # 7
Member
2237 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@hilsy85: I say stand your ground.  If other people were told they had to get a sitter and they see this kid there, they might be offended.

Post # 9
Member
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

For us it’s not just one kid…it’s everyone’s kid that wasn’t invited.  If someone who had to deal with getting a babysitter saw someone else’s kid at our wedding all hell would break loose because why were THEY able to bring their kid and WE weren’t?  So we had to accept that some people just wouldn’t/couldn’t come…

-Good Luck, let us know how it turns out!

Post # 10
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I agree with some of the other comments, what about all the other parents that did find childcare? Letting one slip through would offend your other guests who did respect your wishes.

Post # 11
Member
5889 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

are any of her other friends that are invited parents?  if so, i would phrase it as such:  “oh, we really want to be able to let Crazy Russian Woman bring her child, but it wouldn’t be fair to FMIL’s Other Friends With Kids who we already told couldn’t bring theirs.” 

Post # 13
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

FYI, I’m Russian and this is NOT how Russian weddings are.  In fact, bringing children to a Russian-style wedding would be horrifying (vodka, vodka, vodka, etc.)  I think she’s just giving you a hard time because she does not want to lose face in front of the cousins.  Good luck with this – I’m sorry you have to deal with it. 

Post # 14
Member
792 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I agree with JurisPrudence. I am not russian myself but my step-mother is Russian, and she told me that all the weddings she has ever been to in Russia the guests did not bring their children with them. She even said when she was married the first time that she did not have children at her wedding, and she didn’t want them there, not because she doesn’t like children. She has two sons herself, but because it would of been horrifying and difficult to have them there, because of the alchool, specifically vodka. So it would not of been a good idea.

Post # 15
Member
351 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Oh boy…I am SO thankful that we didn’t have any children issues. They are not invited and nobody gave us flack. Sorry that you’re dealing with this 🙁

Aren’t in-laws great? LOL

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