Post # 1
In the past 2 weeks I’ve been having big issues with my brothers not liking my fiance (not liking is a gentle term). At first I figured they were just trying to be protective which I get, but now my older brother has gotten to the point of harrassment…he has been leaving me very insulting messages about my fiance on facebook and has been telling me how he is the devil and that he is making me miserable and all these horrible untrue things. It’s gotten to the point where he is trying to sabotage the wedding by making it so my father will no longer help pay for it. In his last message he said that my father told him he would not pay for the wedding if my mom didn’t kick him out of the house and said that my mom would not and that my FAGGOT FIANCE CAN GO F * himself and that I shoud do backflips.
The worse part is that he is 28 years old and suffers from bipolar disorder..I can honestly say that I would fear for my fiances life if they were ever left alone together (in the past he held his own fiancee at knife point while in an episode) I am not sure if this is all stemming from a manic episode and delusion, but I can’t help be upset by it.
It came out of nowhere and now I feel like the happiest day of my life is going to be the most stressful…I don’t want people that can’t support our relationship there on our wedding day…I’ve been doing my best to ignore the situation, but can’t always do that…I find myself crying because of it and cursing having them as brothers. I just don’t know what to do….I am ready to call off the wedding and just go to city hall.
Post # 3
That sounds like a really stressful situation 🙁 Don’t run off to city hall though, if you don’t want to! It sounds like your brother is due for a therapy session/review of his medication. I would try to get your parents on board with making sure this happens. You mention two brothers but I’m not sure what the other’s story is? Does he have mental health issues too or is he just being annoying? Overall, I think you and your folks need to get on the same page to get him/them some help now, before it gets any worse. Do your parents know how bad this has gotten? It may be that they end up not being invited to your wedding – which would be sad, but it might be for the best if you can’t sort it out or feel safe and happy about your day. All the best, I know what dealing with bipolar can be like, it’s very draining and I really feel your pain 🙁
Post # 4
the frustrating thing is that my brothers end up fueling each other…the other one doesn’t suffer from bipolar disorder (that we know of) but has a very negative outlook on life and is constantly in a negative state of mind…..they are both telling me that my mom feels the same way and that she is to afraid to say anything. I’ve talked with mom and she has said that she has the typical concerns and wants to make sure I am happy…my dad is the same way but says he sees things he doesn’t like…when I ask for specific examples he doesn’t give them. It’s not like I am rushing into marriage…we have been together for almost 5 years and we are happy…it’s so frustrating because this is supposed to be a happy time and its hard to be happy when they are trying to make me miserable.
Post # 5
It sounds like your brother IS in a manic state. Manic people often think they’re on to something or being the life of the party when really they’re just being cruel. A manic state can also involve extreme anger or violence.
I hope there is good psychiatric care in your area. If your brother is on medication, maybe he went off it? (Bipolar people often do because they feel dull, or like they must be better now.)
Hope it all turns out okay!
Post # 6
@jillbean I am not sure what is going on…my mom said he was taking his meds when he was staying with them, but that he had been out drinking a lot with friends (which is a trigger) and has been acting off lately..the trouble is that until he becomes a harm to himself or others he would need to voluntarily place himself in the care of a Dr…the biggest problem is that in a manic state he cannot see clearly and thinks he is fine.