(Closed) S/O Financial habits- where did you learn yours?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Where did you learn your financial management/spending/savings habits?

    Parents (or other family members). They were a good example.

    Parents (or other family members). They were a good warning of what NOT to do.

    Middle or High school


    A course offered by a financial institution

    I have no idea what I'm doing with money

    I rely on my significant other for money matters and planning

    I pattern my money habits after my parents.

    I do not pattern my money habits after my parents.

  • Post # 32
    2036 posts
    Buzzing bee

    View original reply
    @jenilynevette:  OH my goodness I thought I was alone with the back to school shopping..I wasn’t told to ‘find my own clothes’ exactly but my mom made this huge deal out of telling my dad one year while we were shopping and let him know that this bill and that bill would have to be late because she couldn’t afford clothes for us kids (who does that?!?) so then, right there, my younger brother and I were basically in tears telling my parents that we didn’t need clothes for school because we wanted lights and cable on in the house (growing children don’t need clothes, WHAT THE HECK!?!?)….They had decent jobs and made decent money together…just always going out and drinknig the money too I guess.

    So, yeah…parents=WHAT NOT TO DO.

    Sorry to hear about your situation bee…they really shoudl require some parents to take a money class or something lol.

    Post # 33
    7309 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

    View original reply
    @amandasouthcarolina:  Thanks! We are thrilled with what we’ve achieved with this house “investment” in such a short period of time. I lovingly refer to home ownership as a money pit, but sometimes it can pay off. We’re working hard to be one of those rare cases.  

    Post # 34
    659 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I’m trying to fignite it out as I go. growing up I lived with my mom and never needed anything went to private schools ect. I recently found out she had to fight to get her house out if foreclosure and has no savings so I have no idea what she has been doing with money. My dad and grandparents have preregistration with money as far as I know.

    my Fiance and I were just talking about how we don’t know how everyone budgets. We are both debt free home owners and paying for our wedding in cash so I think we’re doieel well but we need to figure out a serious way to budget and track money

    Post # 35
    2253 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I think my biggest influence regarding finances has been my husband. Before meeting him in college, I was pretty careless regarding finances. Looking back, I realize how lucky I was I didn’t rack up insane amounts of credit card debt with my reckless spending habits. He didn’t spend what he didn’t have, and over time I’ve adopted the same mentality. Now we save a set amount every month for both retirement and an emergency fund, we don’t carry revolving debt, and we constantly monitor our credit. Hopefully this all pays off when we buy our house in the next couple of years.

    Post # 36
    10450 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2014

    My parents have piles and piles of money because my dad is incredibly good with investments. They profited from the 2008 crash, as did I with his advice. So I grew up learning from them and I had a trading account in high school. I still go to my dad for advice because I don’t really care to learn about all the business stuff behind why he makes the trades that he does, I just want to benefit from it!

    Post # 37
    1133 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    I learned from myself to be honest.  My parents made me start buying everything except food (including clothing, shampoo, etc.) when I was 13.  I got my first job at 13 (delivering papers, which earned me a whopping $10 a WEEK), and saved every penny. I only got new clothing on my birthday or Christmas every year.

    Then when I was 17 I got a real job, and the first year, I bought nothing but necessities. Saved literally every penny, and put that towards my first college education.

    Fiance spends like crazy ($5 everyday on overpriced Starbucks, $50 on drinks, etc.) and doesn’t understand why I am so frugal with my money, it’s frustrating at times.

    Post # 38
    1646 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2015

    View original reply
    @Mrs. Wallaby:  I have. It’s a bit watery for my taste, but this is coming from a girl who didn’t even like cheese five years ago (I blame my Italian Future In-Laws and Fiance for this).

    Post # 39
    1192 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    @DaneLady:  My parents definitely showed me more about money than I’ve gathered most of my friends’ parents did (definitely more than FI’s parents). When I was given an allowance as a child I got to keep 1/4 of it, 1/4 went in the bank, 1/4 went to charity, and 1/4 went to “taxes” that I would get back after awhile (the end of the year or ever quarter or something).

    The main thing I inherited from my parents was always paying all of my bills in full immediately. I’ve never carried a balance on a credit card (and I use my cards A LOT), all of my bills are paid in full (though I will admit to missing one occasionally just because I lose it. Never to the extent that something’s been shut off). My anal retentiveness about paying bills actually started to give me anxiety about our honeymoon. FI’s parents offered to pay for it (very generously) but they only gave us half now to pay the down payment and will give us the other half later. I ended up paying it all off myself because it was just freaking me out too much to have it dangling there.

    Post # 40
    1542 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I learned my money habits from my parents…. some good some bad. We never had a lot of money so it was always a paycheck to paycheck kind of thing. So my parents were pretty frugal and my always knew how to save a penny. My mom was a coupon and sales shopping queen at the grocery store. So i learned at an early age to be frugal but i was also pretty sheltered so for a few years in college i got my first credit card and all of a sudden i could buy something. Racked up 5k on there.

    That combined with the fact that because my parents didn’t have a lot of money and i’m one of 5 kids – the only way for me to ever go to school was student loans so thats what i did. i survived college by borrowing money – even added on the cost of books and a computer. 109k dollars in debt later – I graduated and got a job and moved away with DH. Being on my own my frugality kicked in – I knocked out that 5k in credit cards in my first year at my new job. Survived for a few years… and now i’m back in debt knock out mode since our friends got us into Dave Ramsey. Now i will be the first one to say I HATE debt. Of all kinds. I hate it.

    I’m a saver by nature and DH is a spender – we annoy each other properly but all in all we make a pretty good team now – he’ll convince me to not be so cheap – and i’ll convince him to not spend so much.


    Post # 41
    1293 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2019

    My dad has been a financial advisor for over 30 years, so he taught me everything I know about money. I learned the value of a dollar by the time I was 5.

    Granted, I can’t say that I always put those teachings into practice, but now that I’m an adult living on my own I am extremely frugal. I pay my bills on time, and I weigh purchases that aren’t necessities very carefully. It can be hard, because I love clothes and shoes, but I know that having some extra money to fall back on is more important.

    Post # 42
    10635 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2011

    My parents did a great job of teaching me the very basics.  Beyond that though, they didn’t teach me much.  I had no clue how much my dad made, they didn’t tell me about their investments, etc.  I had quite a bit of money (I got big lump sums for scholarships, like stuff all at once for 4 years) just sitting in a crappy savings account.  I wish I had done one of the online banks back then, but my mom was very conservative when it came to money, didn’t really trust online banking with the big 5 banks, so to her something like ING was extremely risky.

    DH got me to open up an ING account.  I was sold the first time I got the interest payout for the month.  When there were RRSP info sessions at Future In-Laws work, he used to take DH instead of Mother-In-Law.  He took a personal finance course in university, started doing his family’s taxes when he was in high school, etc so he taught me some stuff.  Now we’re learning together, there are things he knows more about and there are things I know more about, it often just depends which one of us looked into something first.

    Post # 43
    2538 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I’ve learnt my financial habits from both myself and my DH. Growing up, my parents were able to spend money and they still do – not frivolously but they wouldn’t have second thoughts about buying a new car, nor would they have to save for years for a new kitchen….but my dad worked hard and earnt his money and they can afford to do things like that. When I moved out of home and started to have to fend for myself I realised that I couldn’t spend like them. My husband is a saver so that helps me. 

    Post # 44
    9680 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    My dad and my own research. Also, a lot of things are common sense, i.e. don’t spend more than you make, avoid silly bank fees, don’t rack up credit card debt, etc. 

    Post # 45
    6112 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    @DaneLady:  We have very similar models!

    I basically did the OPPOSITE of what my dad did and I am self taught in my money management skills.  He almost gambled the house away, never shared money with my mom, constantly fought about money, blew every last cent he had on alcohol and cigarettes (later in life it was drugs).  We were on food stamps and I got free lunches as a kid, yet he made like $70k a year (not sure how we got those things, I thought they were income based).

    So yeah, I did not listen to any of his advice.  He must have gotten that from his father because I hear my cousins say the same thing (even this particular 17% stupid quote that is not true).

    No one taught me anything specific.  I just knew I couldn’t end up retirement wise like my parents.  I knew I had to use student loans for college, but I took out a few as possible and worked 30 hours/week during school (yes, and went crazy).  My sister on the other hand took out the max and bought a brand new car.

    I recall in high school that I really wanted flute lessons (my life goal was to be a professional flautist).  I had to work at Hardee’s for $4.10/hour to pay for my own lessons and gas money and car insurance (dad did pop for the $1000 car).  I guess my dad did teach me to work hard. 

    When in college I was very responsible and managed my dad’s condo (I lived in the smallest room and rented out the bigger rooms in order to cover the mortgage).  How many parents can trust an 18 year old to do that?  I did this and also was a manager at Subway.  I had a system for paying the utilities that did not require fronting all the bills with my own money as I waited for roommates to pay.  I lived with 8 different people I’ve never met (they were renters).

    I cannot say that I have had any huge financial mistakes in my life – maybe marrying my ex but it was a small amount in the grand scheme of things.  Even when I bought a house with my ex, I INSISTED we buy a house that one income could afford.  This bode very well for me as when we divorced, I was able to buy him out, keep the house, and return back to school all while keeping up on my mortgage.  Thankfully I’m in a town where you can actually get a one income affordable house too.

    I did lose a portion of my retirement to my ex at divorce.  That was the only time I cried really.  But with my and H’s current saving habits, I have more than made up for it.  It was just a blip in the grand scheme of life.

    Now that I’m married to my H, we are making retirement a #1 priority and hope to retire early (like age 50).  We live on half of our income.  I drive a plain Jane car that I wouldn’t trust driving 1 hour away.  I make a lot of vegetarian meals that are inexpensive.  The Millionaire Next Door (the book) provided an insight on who are our basic millionaires and how they live.  It was very eye opening.  As in the average Joe down the street who makes smart financial moves and lives modestly.  Smart Couples Finish Rich was another good book.

    I listen to money podcasts at work.  I am feeling really good about my situation now. 

    Post # 46
    2585 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    I did not have a good financial role model growing up. I learned how to be financially responsible on my own, as I have been working and living on my own since I was 17. In recent years, my husband has also been a moderate influence in terms of investing.

    However, with that said, I did have good role models in terms of work ethic, generosity, and gratification which has contributed to my financial situation, goals, and overall mindset.

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