(Closed) S/O Financial habits- where did you learn yours?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Where did you learn your financial management/spending/savings habits?

    Parents (or other family members). They were a good example.

    Parents (or other family members). They were a good warning of what NOT to do.

    Middle or High school


    A course offered by a financial institution

    I have no idea what I'm doing with money

    I rely on my significant other for money matters and planning

    I pattern my money habits after my parents.

    I do not pattern my money habits after my parents.

  • Post # 47
    4605 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    My parents taught me everything. From the time I was little and started getting an allowance, I understood the value of a dollar. As I got older, they would make me sit down with them while they paid bills and balanced their checkbooks. When I started working, my stepdad made me “bills” that I had to pay; gas, cell phone, car insurance, spending money… I gave them x amount of money out of my paychecks every month. They also opened up a checking account for me too and I was in charge of that. They didn’t bail me out when I overdrafted. I was responsible for my own budget and my own money since I was 15. It’s really helped as I’ve gotten older. I know how to budget now. I don’t run around spending money just because I have it. I have a credit card that I only use in emergencies. I pay all of my bills in full. I pay my credit card off in full. I’ve gotten good at shopping around for the best deals and using coupons. I had around $15,000 in student loans and I’ve almost completely paid those off. 

     FH and I both are pretty frugal people. We have a budget that we stick too and we’ve ever rarely had hard financial times until now. But even though it’s a little rough right now we still make do. We just have to budget now without a paycheck from me. 

    Post # 48
    1409 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I feel like my parents are okay with money. My dad is a computer programmer, so he makes pretty good money, and my mom went back to school when I was in 7th grade and got her Mild to Moderate Special Ed Teaching Credential, so that’s what she’s doing now, but she had some issues with being a new teacher in a money-strapped state and had to substitute teach for a couple years. While my mom was student teaching and not making any money they managed to rack up $60K worth of credit card debt, but after 2 or 3 years of really focusing on it they’re about to have that all paid off. I don’t know, it just seemed like they never had much of a system in place, but for one thing they use mint.com a lot now and I think that helps. According to it though, with their current savings and whatnot they can’t retire for another 20 years when they’re in their early 70s, so now they need to start saving more, but we’re not sure if that takes into account that their house will be paid off before then.

    I got my first credit card when I was 18, and carried a $500 balance for a while, and that’s kind of how I learned “Don’t Buy Stuff You Can’t Afford.” But I don’t have any experience saving, because I’ve never been able to afford to save, and I spend very little on non-necessities. Left to my own devices if I made more, I think I’m okay with money, but not great, not saving as much as I should,  and not knowing anything about investments.

    My FI’s family has always had a financial planner, and Fiance is really knowledgeable about money, so pretty much I intend on taking his advice on everything, but we plan on always having separate checking accounts. 🙂

    Post # 49
    1540 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    I learned from my Dad. He’s cheap-I’m cheap.

    I was really excited to tell him about the money I save on my dress from a sample sale 🙂 He was impressed lol

    Post # 50
    507 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Like some other bees, I learned what not to do from my parents and my screw ups.  I followed in my parents footsteps and got into credit card debt in college.  After getting out of college, I worked my ass off to pay off the debt and have lived debt free (other than house) for the last 12 years. 

    I’ve saved a lot for retirement and definitely live below my means.

    My dad died and left my mom with virtually nothing and an upside down mortgage and auto.  She has his life insurance money and social security to live on for the rest of her life but nothing else.  My dad was a big time spender and kept them in debt their whole life…even after filing bankruptcy.

    My sister followed in their steps as well.

    yes….I really think financial planning should be taught in school. 

    Post # 51
    885 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2009

    I grew up poor, as in “do not look at anything ever when you are out of the house because I know my parents cannot afford it so why even bother” poor.  So consumism has never been a thing for me.  I also started contributing to our home bills at age 16, never had a cell phone until I could afford one, bought my car myself, and paid for my transportation to and from high school.  My first job was at a WinnDixie making 6.25/hour.  Given that I had to pay for all those things myself, I just learned how to budget from the moment I started making money.  

    Also, my parents are very good at saving (now that they do well enough to save), so I do think their upbringing definitely influenced me.  One thing I am ALWAYS thankful for is that my husband and I see money the same way.  I seriously do not think  I could be with someone with different spending habits. 

    Post # 52
    5870 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    Besides growing up in an environment that set a (mostly) positive example, I have also done a LOT of reserach on my own.  Personal finance is one of my interests.

    Post # 53
    3668 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @DaneLady:  My DH joined the military while I was still in high school so they taught him everything he needed to know. When I graduated he taught me everything he learned 🙂

    We are a financial power team! 

    Post # 54
    1143 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    A mix of people, really. Some from my parents, some from a class I took in high school called “The Adult Life,” where we did scenarios such as balancing check books, budgeting, etc. And then some from real-life experiences.

    Nowadays I have a system that works for me, but I modify it occasionally for various reasons.

    Post # 55
    699 posts
    Busy bee

    @DaneLady:  my mother learned the hard way(thru divorce) how to save and spend wisely after she singlehandedly raised my younger sister and i. she taught me well. even with my SO, we have a joint account, and one just for each of us, that only we can access. i only recently opened a RSP and so did my SO. we are going to do a living will next year, i hope and have made steps to decrease our debt load.

    Post # 56
    996 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    My parents are very good influences. They definitely taught me the value of a dollar. I got my first real job at 14 working at a fruit stand. They made me save at least 50% of my paycheck no matter what. I got into that habit and have stuck to it ever since. I worked two jobs at a time in high school and saved a good amount of money. I’m in college now and work part time, as well as apply to every scholarship I can find.

    I have also just always been interested in personal finance. I have read numerous books on the subject and I love the Suze Orman show. I find bugetting fun.

    My Fiance basically had the opposite experience. His parents are not good influences (bankruptcy, reposessions, ect). He did learn a lot from having to leave his house at a young age. But I do take care of the budgetting and financial planning for him because he likes to not have to worry about it and I enjoy it.

    Post # 57
    2362 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013 - B&B

    I also learned what NOT to do from my parents… I knew that they lived paycheck to payceck and I really never wanted to be like that. I always had food and clothes and a place to live growing up, and I got myself a job at 16, etc. So I was never like, poor.  But even so, I saw the stress they were always under.

    In college, I scraped by.  I had a job, but even as hard as it could be on my mom and stepdad they put a lot toward my school. For instance, they could have been building up a little savings and instead they gave it to me for school.  That meant a lot to me but it also showed me that someday I want to provide for my kids but ALSO be able to cover emergencies!!

    I have found that now that I HAVE some money I like keeping it.  My husband and I are both savers, planners, etc.  I guess I was never comfortable with the idea of spending more than I really have? Our debt is mostly all good debt: house (at 25/26), two cars, and school loans. I think combined we have about $1500 in regular cc or store card debt. I remember when we were saving up for the house and getting ready to buy it that I was talking to my mom and mentioned several THOUSAND dollars that had been sitting there for months untouched. Sometimes in college I would get my bank account down to $5, just because I didn’t HAVE anything, not because I spent like crazy. And I had this moment where I was so proud of myself…. going from $5 to $5,000 and I didn’t go spending, nothing. I had already spent it in my head for something important and I could literally ignore it being there to keep it safe.  That was such a great feeling!

    We also think more than just “spend less than you make”. For instance, the house we bought: It’s an income property. Single family home turned into 3 apartments. I live in one. THe first floor apartment pretty much pays our monthly mortgage (PITI) payment, and the basement the bills like water/gas/trash/etc. Is it our dream house? NO. But we are 100% on board with a more meager living arrangment NOW because in 3-5 years we should be able to build/buy our dream home. We will be about 30. We also used $400 of wedding money and went and talked to a financial advisor!  That way, we know not just “Ok, XXX amount for bills and XXXX amount for savings” we know which bills we can try to pay off faster, we know a bit more about what certain saving amounts can do for us, and we might be able to try investing.

    Post # 58
    1680 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @DaneLady:  My mom is a bookkeeper, so I definitely have a family who knows how to manage money. When my dad lost his job when I was little, we were broke, but we ALWAYS had money in savings. We never lived extravagantly, but because they were frugal, we did get treats on occasion. Including biannaul beach trips, and even a trip to disney! They’ve remodeled our entire house with quality materials and construction. Our household income was less than $50k/year. Did I mention I have TWO sibligns??

    My parents taught me to never carry a credit card balance. In fact, I’ve made more than $400 from my credit card in just a few years.

    I know how to clip coupons, buy seasonal/sale foods, grow my own garden, and butcher our own deer.

    I know the difference between a NEED and a want. I don’t buy new clothes, designer purses, shoes, jewelry and other things. 

    I donate to charities who need it, and never say no to a reputable organization.

    I live within my means and never feel like I “need” more to keep up with society.

    I’ve already paid off 10k in student loans, and I just graduated in May. 

    I net less than $1500 per month, yet I still have more than 4k in savings which is pretty damn good for someone who just graduated college.


    I’m amazed and heartbroken for people who can’t do these things.



    Post # 59
    1406 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    @DaneLady:  I learned mine from my parents. My mom grew up SUPER poor and once she married my dad and had (military) money, she was extremely careful with it. She still cuts coupons and buys on sale. They’ve always owned a house (for the tax breaks) and bought “beater” cars anytime the military moved us. It’s the reason my parents have money to this day.

    I’ve never been “poor” except in college but seeing my mom’s family and how they live has honestly been the reason I’ve worked my butt off. I’m terrified of worrying about living below paycheck to paycheck. 

    I can honestly say that I’ve never dated a man that had the same financial outlook as me. DH had tons of debt when I met him but he’s since sold some of his “toys’ and paid off all debt AND now has a substantial savings. It’s the first time in his life he’s had a savings acct. and he loves it. He learned his spending/no saving habits from his dad.

    Post # 60
    1344 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013 - Vine Street Church

    I came from an extremely wealthy family on both sides at the grandparent level, but my parents are a hot financial mess. I use them as my example of what not to do with finances and it’s served me well thus far.

    My husband is lost with finances, so he gets to play with $450 a month of his own money and the rest goes to our joint account for me to use for bills, vacations, et cetera.

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