SO FRUSTRATED.

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 76
Member
6836 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

starrybee :  I’m sorry Bee but I do think it’s for the best. Here’s to an exciting future full of new possibilities ! 

Post # 77
Member
469 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

*hugs* Sorry that you’re going through a breakup (they always suck) but glad to hear that you’re done with this guy.  You deserve so much better, and I have no doubt that you’ll find what you’re looking for.  You’re still very young (27) and have plenty of time to find the right guy (although sooner rather than later is always nice 😉 ).  The first few months will be the worst, but you’ll heal, and you’ll realize that this is absolutely for the best.

Make sure to completely break it off: delete his contact info, don’t stay friends, don’t have any contact.  If he weasels back to you and tries to manipulate you into resuming the relationship or doing a friends-with-benefits situation, stay strong and say no.  Take care of yourself and make sure to focus on YOUR dreams and health.  When you’re ready to date, have fun, but when you want to get serious, keep your standards high.

Post # 78
Member
7751 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I am so proud of you for breaking up. It is not an easy decision. It took me a full year from the time I realized I had to break up with my ex until I actually truly went through with it…so I really admire you for haivng the strength to take the bull by the horns with this. It’s going to suck for awhile, but you  know you did the right thing. Isn’t it great to have your future back? That was the best feeling for me after my breakup (once the despair passed lol)…embracing the wonderful unknown of my future again, after spending so much tme in limbo and feeling like I had no control over my life.

Post # 79
Member
91 posts
Worker bee

starrybee :  I am SO PROUD of you! Breaking up is not easy, especially with the years you both have been together.  Though, 3 years may be easier than 5, 8, etc… I’m glad you have a positive outlook.  Each day will get better and you are one step, day, closer to meeting the man who will want to marry you.  I dont know you, but I know you will look back on this and think, breaking it off was the best decision ever, cause I never would have met (insert future man/fiance/husband here).  xxoo!

Post # 80
Member
116 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

To second what raspberrybidet said: do not make contact! just give yourself some time and space to heal. He may get loney and sad and try to worm his way back into your life, and you need to be strong enough to see him for what he is. You may get lonely and miss him, but don’t give him another chance. Speaking from experience, my ex broke up with me for the exact same reason that your relationship is ending, and about 6 weeks later, he came crawling back, promising he’d changed and begging for another chance. I told him that if he was really serious, he’d come back with a ring and prove it to me. Needless to say, that never happened.

Be strong. Surround yourself with friends and family, and when you’re ready, you’ll find a wonderful guy. Good luck! 

Post # 81
Member
5864 posts
Bee Keeper

Being in an unhappy relationship hurts worse than breaking up in the long run. I think it’s very telling that even though you are understandably sad and hurting right now, you’re also feeling really relieved and excited for the future. Best wishes for you Bee, I truly think you did the right thing. Be kind to yourself and take care of yourself and stay excited for the future 🙂

Post # 83
Member
59 posts
Worker bee

starrybee :  Good for you for realizing how important YOU are. You deserve someone who will give you the world. As far as presents, its hard because obviously you both love each other. I think having closure will be nice, and then like you said, stop communication. 

Best of luck and happy holidays!  

Post # 84
Member
91 posts
Worker bee

starrybee :  Im not going to try to persuade you not to exchange presents but really, when you break up it is often a good idea to start to get rid of things that make you think of them.  If you insist on exchanging presents, may I suggest regifting OR…. if it is something you absolutely wante,d go back to the store and exchange for another color (it takes away from the feeling it was from them, if that makes sense- I did it with a lululemon gym bag that I got for my birthday a few years back and days later we broke up).  Also with that said, I wish I didnt wast a single cent on some of my past relationships, I think you should return the gifts if you can and treat yourself. Whatever you decide is the best decision and we are here for you regardless through it all. 🙂

Edit:  I guess I did try to persuade you afterall… I guess consider it as suggestions or ideas

Post # 85
Member
487 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

starrybee :  been there, done that LOL. no worries you are definitely not alone!!!

Anyway can you just give yourself a deadline till when you can wait, then take everything slow and enjoy your relationship. from my experience, my SO like when I look so patiently and not asking anything from him (while inside i’ve been so frustrated of course LOL) that he slowly came to his mind that he really wants to marry me, and then take care everything himself. In fact he was more excited than I do haha.

But if the time has come, you do have a difficult decision to make. Just dont go frustrated the whole time if you can. It’s really exhausting.

Good luck bee!!

Edit: Sorry didn’t read the update. Anyway I wish the best for you, everything do happen for a reason, good things will come I believe. Kiss n hugg

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 11 months ago by  Newgirl87. Reason: Uuuppss sorry didn't read the update
Post # 86
Member
487 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

tiffanybruiser :  just want to share my experience though. Me n my SO has exactly in this place. We have a compromised deadline, but when time is near, he said he still not sure, and not know when to be sure. I know this is not because he doesn’t love me, but he is afraid of the married life. He said now that he overthink it. We had a huge fight and almost break up.

But then I KNOW that I’m 100% sure that he is the one, and I’m willing to wait. I said that okay, waiting is better than loosing you (I remember this is the exact word cause it was such a drama back then LOL).

Then guess what, not until a week later, yes a week!! he realized that he really wants to marry me, and getting more excited than I am. He said he was so so sorry he ever acting like that and the is no doubt that I am the best for him. He was soooo thankful that I didn’t let go the other day. Men are also confusing you know lol.

My point is, everyone is different, there are soooo many scenario that can happen in waiting. I guess at the end it goes back to how much do you want to compromised and wait. They know the best for them.

Oh and listen to your gut, and pray you take the right step. Everything will be okay =)

Post # 87
Member
4250 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Newgirl87 :  Did you read her update?  She broke up with him.

Post # 88
Member
487 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

ljm308 :  yes I do after, I’m Sorry. Wish her the best of luck though!!

Post # 89
Member
4250 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

starrybee :  The fact that you are relieved should tell you something.  I remember that feeling well.  I literally felt a weight lifted from my shoulders.  You will likely be devastated, angry, frustrated, and upset, which are all very real emotions in a break up and during the stages of grief.  Be kind to yourself!  You made the right choice.

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