Post # 1
Member
667 posts
Busy bee
A close relative’s wedding is coming un in a couple weeks. About a month and a half ago, my SO said that there was no way I was going without a ring on my finger. Poor guy has been very pressured by a few of my relative about when we are getting married so I feel bad he’s in this position.Naturally, I was really excited about it and tne anxiousness kicked into high gear. Here we are so close to the wedding now and no ring on my finger. I wasn’t going to say anything to him about it, but I must have had looked like I was deep in thought a few days ago cause he asked what was wrong and wouldn’t leave it alone until I told him what I was thinking. I asked him if it was going to happen by then and I assured him that I would not be upset if I didn’t but I wanted to know so I won’t feel disappointed. He sais that he is working on it but I’m pretty sure he hasn’t even bought a ring yet so I don’t think it will be happening before the wedding. I understand money is tight for him and part of me knew it wouldn’t happen by then but I had faith in him that he would do it.
Just needed to vent a little bit and get this out of my head cause it’s been bugging me lately. I know for sure that it will be by the end of the year because that is a promise he made me at the beginning of the year but I just wish it would be sooner rather than later.
Post # 3
Member
258 posts
Helper bee
I’m sorry that you’re already anticipating your disappointment. 🙁 I know a lot about that feeling. It sucks. And then for some reason it sucks even more when you DO get let down/disappointed. *le sigh*
The only thing I would advise you to do is make sure that he knows that it’s not really appropriate to propose AT someone else’s wedding. I could see how a guy might misguidedly think that it’s SUPER romantic, when really, it’s super faux pas. I’m not saying your boyfriend is clueless or anything, but you never know what they’re thinking! So…just make sure that’s not what he’s planning to do. 🙂
Post # 4
Member
4046 posts
Honey bee
There is a right time for everyone to get married, and it can be really hard to wait. But you two need to get engaged at your own time and your own schedule.
If you do not get engaged before the other wedding, people will pester you about when you’re getting engaged.
And if you do get engaged, people will pester you about all the wedding details and make you feel bad that you don’t have it all planned out.
(And if you did get married, they will pester you about having babies). You really can’t win. Just make sure you are getting engaged and married at the right time for you and your Fiance.
Post # 5
Member
629 posts
Busy bee
Aw, I’m sorry that you’re feeling that way. Waiting is hard… especially when they put a time limit on it! (My guy did the same thing… and the time limit lapsed!)
Just know that you’ve got a guy whose working on it, and who is choosing you! 😀
Post # 6
Member
425 posts
Helper bee
awwww 🙁 Im sorry you feel that way. but you kno what, look at the bright side- Mny girls wait for thier guy to even bring it up with them. to even discuss the idea of marriage.. He wants to marry you, he knows this and you know ths as well.. he has already ” chosen’ you to be his wife and mother of his children, but like you said- money is tight- things will fall into place when they should. as for now, be that supportive loving Girlfriend you are Im sure- and that would set him at ease – and probably when he sees how your handling it- the quetion might randomly might pop outa no where <3
Post # 7
Member
153 posts
Blushing bee
I agree, no proposal AT someone’s wedding. soooo tacky lol.
I’m sorry you’re feeling disappointed. Don’t let other people make you feel bad though. I don’t think people mean to “pressure” other people about getting engaged. I think it’s just something you bring up when you haven’t seen people in a while. And I think most of the time people are trying to be nice.
Just try to have fun at the wedding, let loose and focus on visiting with family and friends.
Post # 8
Member
1542 posts
Bumble bee
Look at the bright side, someway or another he’s going to propose, you may not have a ring in your finger for this relative wedding, but do you really want to him to rush it just for that reason?
Post # 9
Member
147 posts
Blushing bee
@kerensa: It really is true isn’t it? Why are people so nosey? :p
Post # 10
Member
667 posts
Busy bee
Thanks ladies, great advice as always. We talked last night and I told him that he didn’t have to do it by the wedding. I would have loved to have had a ring on my finger by then but I made it clear that I would not be mad at all if we waited and that we should wait until next month. He agreed so still no ring 🙁 but it’s coming fairly soon so it still sucks waiting but its okay knowing it is coming very soon. Now jsut have to get the through the wedding and hopefully no one pesters him about it becuae it will be very hard for me to not bite my tongue if they start on him.
