(Closed) So frustrated! Is this reasonable?

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Hostess
18644 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Ugh that’s so frustrating!  My husband and I don’t have a lot of time toghet either since we work full time and go to school.  I wouldn’t have sex with him if you aren’t into it.

Post # 4
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Um, it sucks, but what’s he supposed to do–call his friend up on his way to dinner and say, “hey i promised my wife i’d be home earlier, i gotta cancel on ya?!”

No–it just doesn’t work like that. Make another set of plans. Sometimes it just doesn’t work out. He’d already planned on dinner, it happened later than expected, and your plans got thrown off. It really sucks, but it happens–don’t be too hard on him. Set aside “date night” and don’t make any dinmner plans with friends!!!!

I know i go to happy hours with my girlfriends sometimes and my scheduling of them is never spot on unfortunately. Just tell him he owes you a full evening next time. Don’t force the sex if you’re crabby–nobody wins!

Post # 5
Member
6597 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I see both sides of the situation here!

I understand your frustration and how it must make you feel like he doesn’t value your time together.

But at the same time if he works 80 hours a week I bet he doesn’t get a lot of time with his friends either. Sometimes dinner with friends takes longer than expected. Maybe he had to wait for the friend to get to the restaurant.

Darling Husband and I also don’t get a lot of time together because I work days and he works nights and sometimes I get frustrated and snappy with not seeing him. Try and discuss this with him calmly I am sure he has an explanation.

Good Luck!

Post # 6
Member
177 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I don’t think you are being unreasonable, but I’m against the punishment idea.  My SO and I struggle to find time together; he’s a fireman/emt and I’m working while going to night time grad school.  We’ve been in your spot many times.

There is nothing wrong with expressing that you are unhappy and how that affects your desire to spend “special time” with him.  The SO and I go over what our week looks like and then commit to spend one of the open time slots together.  We don’t make any other plans, but on the rest of the days if we have open time we give that to our friends or family.  

So far this has work out really well for us, I hope it helps.  Smile 

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