(Closed) So Frustrated Right Now

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
2006 posts
Buzzing bee

I feel for you, I really do! It sucks when you are the one responsible for what seems like everything. However, aren’t you asking of him the same thing you are unwilling to do? That is pack and move after you have been at work all day?

I think you need to compromise. I know you have already sat down and talked to him but obviously that didn’t get through to him! What if you did all the packing up of the boxes since your job hasn’t started yet and then he does all the unpacking on the other side of things.

Post # 5
1046 posts
Bumble bee

We moved last week and my husband didn’t help with the packing, but he did do other things such as find boxes, as well as had a friend come over and to help us move.

Although I packed everything I didn’t have to move a heavy box whatsoever.. that was nice. I did, however, have to unpack everything. EVERY LAST BOX.

I just finished unpacking yesterday, actually. Men are pretty useless when it comes to packing/ unpacking and the moving process in general. Big hugs, and I so feel your pain!

Post # 6
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I don’t know, I can kind of see his side if he is working all week out of town and only has the weekends to rest.  I’m not sure what type of job he has but being at the office for that long can be pretty exhausting.  However, him going out fishing with his boss until late tonight is not cool at all.  I think you really need to sit down and talk to him about this and try to come to some sort of compromise.  You have very little time to get this move done, and it will be easier if you have both of you on the same page.

And now that I think about it, like @jamiemichelle, my husband was pretty useless in the unpacking process (we had movers who packed everything up so we didn’t have to do that part).

Post # 7
2006 posts
Buzzing bee

That makes more sense now that I know what a long drive you would have! At this point I think it is easier for you to just do the work without him and if he decides to help you that is great! If he doesn’t, well you aren’t any worse off than you were before, right?

After this whole moving/job situation is settled I think the two of you need to sit down and have a serious discussion about expectations in the household. Obviously you both will have a full time job so you are going to be busy. It is understandable that you take on slightly more of the workload as you probably have more time off/get off of work earlier (being a teacher) but he still needs to help!

PS. I know being a teacher isn’t easy. I work part-time with children (after school care and summer day camp) and know how completely exhausted I am at the end of the day. Good luck with the new job 🙂

Post # 9
581 posts
Busy bee

How about asking friends to help for two hours, feed them and then you are that many more hours ahead with packing.  A 90-minute commute where I live is no big deal, although tedious.  Remember that this is temporary and once you get settled, things will be better.  That is my mantra, when things get frustrating  “This is temporary.”  Moving is no treat, even in the best of circumstances.  By the way, Congratulations on the new job!

Post # 10
181 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

What if you guys sat down and just designated the different responsibilities? I imagine that he will be doing most of the physical moving. When my fiance and I moved, I did most of the actual packing and labeling boxes. I also handled billing changes and making sure the utilities were changed. However, once moving day came around, he and a few of his friends moved EVERYTHING. I pretty much told them where each box went but didn’t physically have to move everything… which was fantastic! Moving is a very stressful thing and it can be very overwhelming! I certainly understand where you are coming from. Just sit back and take a deep breath! It will all work itself out Smile

Post # 11
186 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I feel your pain. When we moved about a year and a half ago I did all of the packing for 7 people. He did all the moving though. He loaded the truck, and while I helped unload some, he did a lot of unpacking with me. He was working wicked hours and hardly at home, and he had to take the weekend we moved off so we could.

Sit down with him and make him a list of things he needs to get done. Things that you will not pack, like his stuff. I know that sounds kind of mean but maybe he will see how much you need his help.

Good luck with the new job!

Post # 13
824 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011 - The Tribute Golf Club

Oh man I know how you feel!  When we moved from my other apartment to the one we are in now, I did all the packing.  I was upset because, while 90% of the stuff was mine (he didn’t have very much that he took from his parents’ house), he wouldn’t help pack the few things that were his.  We ended up talking about it, and that did help.  We agreed that when the move took place that he would build/put together all of the furniture and new pieces that we purchased while I unpacked. 

Hopefully things work out and you can get some help!

Post # 14
162 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

I have to say I totally understand where he’s coming from, because we moved in May (to a four bedroom house) while I was working full-time and my husband (then fiance) was not working. I really was hardly involved in the move AT ALL (packing OR unpacking). In fact, he actually moved into the house about 3 weeks before me to unpack and get the house ready. So while I understand that you must be really frustrated (I can’t imagine having to do what he did…which included refinishing the walls, painting, setting up furniture, etc.), I definitely understand the other point of view as well. Good luck!!

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