Post # 16
@kingytobe: but there is no way I can afford all of that money. I hope that doesn’t sound pretentious but that’s like $500 for all four of them. And I can’t give that right now. We are on a tight budget and I’ve been thinking about giving them jewelry for the day of.
Man, I hope that doesn’t sound so mean.
Post # 17
@SweetRose2011: that doesn’t sound mean at all, you can afford what you can afford.. can’t change that! I wish I had some sort of advice!Maybe when you order at the end of may, tell her you need half the money or whatever she has and don’t tell the rest of the girls, just have them pay themselves?
Post # 18
@kingytobe:What if I offered her an out like someone else previously mentioned?
This would be the potential email I could send her:
So I’ve been thinking and I remember you telling me about your financial situation a few months ago when you lost your apartment. I feel really bad that you’ve had to go through all of this and I would hate for you to have to spend money you might not be able to afford on a wedding dress you might wear just once. It’s not that I don’t want you in my wedding, I just don’t want you to feel like you have to make a huge sacrifice to be in my wedding. If you think you can afford the dress and all of that don’t feel you have to leave. I just thought I would offer you an out in case what I asked was too much. Please get back to me as soon as you can about this.
Post # 19
@SweetRose2011: Is there any way you can have the conversation in person or on the phone? I think your email is fine, but I know it’s tricky with email since it doesn’t always come across right. I just wouldn’t want it to be misconstrued if it were me.
Post # 20
@Sking:yeah I’ll just call her. See if that helps.
Post # 21
I feel your pain, too. It sucks.I’m going tomorrow to buy the dress for one of my BMs who recently spent $5oo on a completely unnecessary purchase.
Post # 22
I had a similar situation with a Bridesmaid or Best Man who said she couldn’t afford to pay for the dress (and she had to travel 3 hours to come into town, there wasn’t a salon near her who sold the designer)
I wouldn’t single ONE bm out, making her feel bad. What I did was send an email/message to the entire group of bridesmaids/maid of honor giving the specifics of how much the dress will cost, how much they need to put down to order it, discount for paying in full, the deadline for ordering, and all the other necessary info.
I told them that they should let me know if they can’t pay for it, order it, etc, or if they decide they can’t be a Bridesmaid or Best Man anymore. I think it went something like this: Hey girls! I’m just writing you an email about the dresses!
If you’re still interested in being a bridesmaid, the dresses MUST be ordered before Jan 31. That’s the deadline for them to arrive on time from the salon. If you can’t meet this, I fully understand, and while I want all of you to be with me that day, it’s okay if you can’t. I’ll still love you 100%! etc.
Post # 23
@M.Ruder:I wish I would’ve thought to email them a mass email like that saying that if they couldn’t still be one I understood, but I didn’t. I’m worried sending one now might be weird.
Post # 24
I get what you’re saying. A few of my BMs never respond to e-mails or facebook, or anything really. It’s completely annoying. It’s not that they can’t respond because they don’t check it, it’s that they don’t feel like responding. My wedding is in two months and two of my BMs haven’t even gotten their dress yet. I’m tired of bothering them about it, so if July comes and they don’t have dresses… they’ll have to sit down as regular guests. I don’t want to be mean, but I want all my BMs to have the same dress on at the altar and in my pictures. It’s not my fault they have not responded. Oh well.
Post # 25
One of my BMs still doesn’t have her dress and my wedding is also in 2 months. @kperry3 I agree with you, I decided I’m just going to forget about it, if she gets the dress in time then she gets it, if not then oh well. I figure I have too much else to worry about.
Luckily the dresses are from JCrew so they are fairly easy to order and quick to ship.