(Closed) SO had a stroke :(

posted 7 months ago in Emotional
Post # 2
5547 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2017

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LadyLuna711 :  I am so sorry bee, it sounds like he’s improving, is he going to stay in a rehabilitation hospital after he’s out of this one?

Not the same as a stroke but my husband had a heart attack at 43 and they found a heart murmur as an accidental finding, they are still trying to confirm where the murmur is located, they are scheduling him for another echo, but if it’s where they think it is, it will cause problems later and he will probably have to have a valve replacement in his fifties.

I know it’s not the same, but I’m finding that he does have some limitations that he didn’t have before, a lot of it is med related. I also got the initial cause of the heart attack wrong, I thought it was plaque related but apparently it was a blood clot, it explains why his heart looked good.

He’s on blood thinners so he has to be careful with things.

I didn’t think about how his life would change after, until he ran into them

I wonder if it will be helpful for you to find some support groups for loved ones of people who have suffered a stroke, they would know what you are going through with all of the unknowns, there could be some bees here that know what you are going through as well.

I know this is much easier said than done, but focus on each day, one day at a time. Just get through today. It sounds like he is in good hands and he’s already improving

Sending you hugs 

Post # 3
440 posts
Helper bee

I’m so so sorry this must be terrifying. I’m sure they will do a bunch of tests and figure out the cause. He’s young and if he’s overall in good health he will be ok. 

I don’t have any other advice but want to say hang in there.

Post # 4
1048 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I don’t have much practical advice. Just sorry the two of you are going through this. Hopefully he will be able to do what he has always done. If not, keep in mind, people adjust to having different physical capabilities, in my experience, as someone who is disabled myself,

Post # 5
2651 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

One of my best friends (super fit, ultramarathoner etc) has a stroke at age 33. Luckily she recognized the signs and got herself to the hospital. It was a rough recovery, but a year later she ran a marathon! This was maybe 4 years ago and she is fitter and stronger than ever. I hope your husband recovers quickly, hugs ❤️

Post # 6
27 posts
  • Wedding: July 2017

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LadyLuna711 :  Hi there. So sorry you and your SO are going through this! Glad to hear that he is on the mend and doesn’t sound like he has any permanent lasting damage. You should make sure that they do an echocardiogram to look for a PFO (patent foramen ovale) which is a hole between 2 chambers of the heart that usually close shortly after being born (everyone has one prior to birth) but in some people they don’t close (about 1 in 4), and most of the time it’s benign but if a young person has a stroke and there is no brain bleed or other reason for it, the PFO may be the cause. Push for the echo to be done just to rule it out. If he does happen to have one, he should be referred to a cardiologist who can help determine if the hole needs to be closed or not. If it does, it’s a minimally invasive procedure in a cardiac cath lab that does not require general anesthesia.

As for post stroke support, just be there for him, if they recommend any type of physical or occupational therapy support him in that. It’s scary having someone so young go through this, but it sounds like he’s on the mend. Stay strong and know that it’s okay to be scared, but don’t let the fear take over. I was a neuro ICU nurse for several years and now I work in a cardiac cath lab, so I’ve seen a bunch of patients with similar illnesses. Take it one day at a time! Good luck!

Post # 7
434 posts
Helper bee

No advice, just words of support during this emotional time.

Post # 8
871 posts
Busy bee

I’m sorry you’re both having to deal with this 🙁  Is there a stroke clinic at the hospital you’re at? They would be a wealth of information and support. This is overwhelming and scary for you, my suggestion would be to get as much education and resources as possible to help give your SO the best possible outcome, learning more about it can help lessen your stress. A big factor will also be the doctors trying to determine what caused the stroke, if possible, and deciding the best course of treatment/ prevention. Also, remember to take care of yourself too, you sound like a supportive and loving partner but be careful you don’t neglect yourself &/ or get burnt out. 

Post # 9
11338 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

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LadyLuna711 :  

OMG, Bee. I am so sorry.  This must be awful for both of you.  Be there for him, but, please don’t neglect your self care.  

Post # 10
798 posts
Busy bee

I’m so sorry! The word stroke is terrifying. My husband had a stroke recently and it was one of the worst experiences ever. Quality of life wise, please try to stay positive. Therapy can be SO incredibly helpful. My husband had a right MCA stroke that affected a large portion of his left brain and had some sever deficits initially. 4 months later (after months of therapy) he is doing so well! Still some issues with his left hand but cognitively and physically he’s doing extremely well. It’s so hard to see right now but life is going to look much better in a couple of months. If you need someone to chat with feel free to message me! 

Post # 11
595 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2018

A good friend of mine had a stroke at a very young age. He wound up starting a support organization called genyus network for survivors. You/your Darling Husband should check it out!

Post # 12
4990 posts
Honey bee

I’m sorry. I do empathize, as my husband had a major heart attack out of the blue. He was Mr. Low cholesterol avid physical fitness man, but life is full of surprises. 

Live for the day. Don’t waste time worrying about what lies ahead. Listen to your medical team and make the changes they recommend (if any). Be positive and if you find yourself worrying go out for a brisk walk or hit the gym. Exercise is great for relieving stress, and worrying is like praying for what you don’t want. Take care~

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