(Closed) So happy! FI and I decided to go with what WE want.

posted 6 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
853 posts
Busy bee

Good for you! Congratulations!! We had a civil ceremony and it was absolutely beautiful. You can personalize as you like, and I definitely suggest writing your own vows. That was the best part of our ceremony—it made it personal, unique, and something to remember. Talk with your officiant about exactly what you want, and you guys will create a beautiful ceremony for YOU. Good luck!!

Post # 5
Member
439 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

It’s so weird you can’t personalize the ceremony at all! I’m a funeral director and I’m always shocked when a catholic church won’t let the family pick readings or let the family read them. And ONLY church music, nothing else is allowed. I think once, Ive heard a non-church song played at mass.

Its so funny because we are getting married in Ireland and we are pretty much allowed to do whatever we want. Songs don’t have to be religous, the priest even mailed us a program from a wedding he did recently…all the songs were like songs you’d hear on the radio. We pick the readings. We can do our own vows. We provide the prayers of the faithful. I guess I always thought that since people in Ireland are more devote catholics and whatnot that it would be more strict. Not like here where people’s kids are leaving the church, attend mass twice a year etc. Maybe if the catholic church here was more open to things like that, more people would still go!

Also, good for you for having the wedding YOU want! Not what the church tells you to do!

Post # 7
Member
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I know what you’re going through! My priest wouldn’t marry us becuase my husband isn’t, wasn’t , and will never be Catholic (he was raised Quaker). Neither of us were very religiously inclined, but still wanted all the tradition and beauty. We ended up being married by a Baptist minister that I knew from a completely non-religious social group- he was very kind, very flexible, and a lot of fun to be around. He didn’t inquire too heavily about our beliefs and let us design our ceremony ourselves. I don’t know if this is an option that could work for you (there are plenty of non-Catholic ministers who are just as inflexible), but it might be an option.

Post # 9
Member
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I added a reading (13 Corinthians), changed our vows (changed obey to respect, and added respect into his vows), added a unity candle ceremony (our mothers were very touched to have a part in the wedding), and a personal prayer. Other than that we both wanted a very traditional ceremony.

Post # 10
Member
853 posts
Busy bee

There are many different ‘ceremonies’ that you can use in your wedding ceremony to make it more unique/personal. There’s the rose ceremony, hand ceremony, sand ceremony, etc. etc. You can look these up online and I’m sure your officiant will have some ideas too. Readings are good as well, and in my ceremony, not only did my husband put my wedding band on my finger, but the officiant also talked about the engagement ring and a ‘sealing of a promise’ so he put that on after the wedding band. It was nice.

Post # 11
Member
2647 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@gonatgo:  I’m delighted to hear that! I’m afraid to ask my priest because it’s usually v strict in Ireland!! I think that as long as you are respectful you should be allowed to personalise your service. 

Post # 12
Member
2009 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

You are awesome! Your wedding will be amazing because it’s about the two of you and you’ll feel great for staying true to yourselves!

Post # 13
Member
5428 posts
Bee Keeper

We are writing our own ceremony. No priest, officiant, or anyone is going to tell us what to say or what happens in our ceremony. Thank you very much! Sorry, but we are not robots that require the same/exact wedding ceremony!

Good for you to go out of the social normal for your special day!

 

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