Post # 1
Here is the thing, my boyfriend has a family that really doesn’t do anything for him. He feels uncomfortable when I spend money on him, but I love him so much that I want to go all out and make up for his family. Will this make him uncomfortable?
I am going to make him breakfast in bed before he goes to work at 7am and give him gift certificates for a 30 min foot massage and an hour long back massage for after he gets off work at a place near our home that I booked. Then we are going to go to a really good pizza place and I am going to give him a Garmin GPS sport watch for when he goes running and we go hiking. Then back home to eat a cake I plan on baking and decorating!
Is that too much? I budgeted it so it isn’t breaking the bank by any means. Is there anything I should change?
Post # 3
I think that sounds like a really lovely day for him, but have you discussed this with him? In the beginning of my relationship with Fiance, we also didn’t spend much on each other (because we’re very, very budget conscious) and it was mostly homemade gifts and planned activities. Maybe you should talk to him beforehand and let him know how much you’re planning to spend and why you want to spend it, and that it does not have to be reciprocated on your birthday by any means. That way, he won’t get upset or uncomfortable on his bday, hopefully.
Post # 4
If he’s uncomfortable, maybe skip the watch? Everything else sounds great!
Post # 5
I have an SO like this and from experience, I’ll tell you that keeping it small is probably better.
A few years ago, I decorate my SO’s car at midnight with balloons and a sign and put little gifts throughout the whole car. I cooked him dinner that night and bought him an expensive present. Let’s just say he wasn’t too happy with me! Those kinds of things make him super uncomfortable.
I would try and tone down what you have planned. I know you’re doing it out of love–believe me, I understand–but it’s his birthday and should be suited to what makes him most comfortable. I’d either skip the massages or the watch.
My SO’s birthday is coming up, too, and I’m planning to keep it fairly simple. I told him I’d go to the store with him on the day and pitch in some money for a bike that he wants to buy and then that night, I’m providing wings and beer for he and his friends to hang out at the house. No cake, no balloons, no crazy haha :p
Post # 6
You sound very sweet…it sounds perfect!
Post # 7
- Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo
Personally the only thing I’d worry about is the massages being a “luxury”, but if he is into spa stuff it then why not! I think only you can know the degree to which your boyfriend is uncomfortable with attention/gifts/whatever, but I think overall it sounds like a great day, and nicely planned out!
Post # 8
My SO is like this too… doesn’t like attention drawn to himself, but he’ll lather it on for me! Makes me a little upset that I can’t do anything “cool” for his birthday, christmas, valentine….
Post # 9
If your fiance SO doesn’t enjoy being showered with gifts, you may have too much planned for him. The thought is wonderful, don’t get me wrong, but if he doesn’t like it, then it’s not money well spent.
I’d cut back a bit on the massages and drop the watch, and take the money you’d spend on those and put them in the bank. Then do the one massage, dinner and cake, and let him know that you’d come in under budget (don’t tell him by how much though) and put the remainder in savings. You can start a tradition of “under-gifting” and saving up the leftover money for something big a little later on, maybe a vacation or new TV or so forth. Do the same for christmas, and encourage him to “under-gift” you too, and you’ll be surprised how fast it adds up to something very wonderful for the both of you.