Post # 1
My ex husband informed me that he is going to marry the woman he cheated on me with about 2 weeks ago.
(Back story, we got married in Dec 2012 and before we got married, he met someone else. Ended up sleeping with her 5 days after we got married and I found out 2 weeks later. I wanted to work it out but he didn’t want to give her up. She was a medical student studying to be a doctor and he was more impressed with that than keeping our family together. I filed for divorce and we got divorced 4 days before our first anniversary.)
My question- is it weird that I have never met the girl? She has been around our son even though I asked to meet her before they introduced him. I have even reached out to her in 2015 on a grown woman stance- non threatening… “Hey I think we should talk since you are going to be around my son. Call me when you have time so we can speak.” Ex husband told her not to contact me so she never did. His own family told him that he should have both of us meet and he has ignored them. I think he lied to her about something and if she speaks to me, she would figure it out so he doesn’t want us talking but now that they are getting married, I am not sure what is suppose to happen. I have moved on and in another relationship so I don’t care about them anymore. Matter of fact, I really don’t care to meet her now since she couldn’t be bothered to talk to me 2 years ago when I requested.
What would you do if if you were in my situation? There is no drama- we all have moved on and while I am still a little hurt that he is marrying the woman he cheated on me with, I have healed enough to know that karma will be a big b!tch so I don’t need to worry about that. Leopards don’t change their spots and she did me a favor. She didn’t know about me or that he was getting married when they first got together but after she found out, she still dated him even though I asked her to back off for my family’s sake.
Post # 2
i dont think id want to meet her personally
Post # 3
armychica06 : Well isn’t she lucky – she is marrying a cheater. I wouldn’t care to meet her.
Post # 4
Thank you ladies- you are confirming my gut. If he tries to introduce her now, I will politely decline.
Post # 5
Eh, I don’t think it’s necessary. As long as she treats your son well, that should be all that matters.
Post # 6
- Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY
What would I do? Go on with my life and scratch meeting her from my priorities list.
Post # 7
Well, since you and you ex have a son together you are bound to meet her someday- school play, soccer game… his high school graduation. Anyway, Personally, I’d prefer to meet her when I know I’m looking awesome. Because other wise it WILL be the one time when you are wearing sweats and aren’t wearing makeup! I know it really doesn’t matter, but I hate to be caught off guard!
Post # 8
This has to do with co-parenting and has nothing to do with your relationship with him or her.
She’s around your child, hell yes you should meet her. Does your kid spend the night st her house? I can’t believe he doesn’t understand that of course the mother should meet the grown ups who will be caring for his child. Jfc he sounds like such a loser.
Post # 9
The one thing about my ex-husband is that he is a good father and I really have no worries that he would ever have our daughter interact with anyone that wasn’t caring to her. Do you feel the same? If you have concerns, I would ask to meet her to make certain my child was safe in a good environment.
Post # 10
I kind of feel your suspicion might be right. Perhaps he told her that you two were separated during the affair and thinks that she might find out the truth—that he cheated—if you talk.
Post # 11
Sorry but before my child had gone anywhere near her I would have had a face to face with her. Thats Standard Operating Procedure in my book. She might be a perfectly nice person but then again she might not. What if they have kids and she starts treating your kid like crap.
You just never know these things unless you meet someone ahead of time. I wouldnt allow my kid to go somewhere unless I have met the person face to face and the word of an ex who is sleeping with that person is not worth bunk.
Post # 12
emmabird : she knows the truth about when we got married. I showed her our wedding photos and asked her to call me so we could sort the story out. She got the message because they started fighting but she never called me to speak.
Actually this whole time she has avoided me, which is really weird because if I found out a new guy I was recently dating just got married- I would speak to the wife and apologize and let her know I didn’t know. Then I would never speak to him again.
She isn’t all that attractive though so she probably just has really low self esteem and stayed with him regardless of how things started because she feels she can’t do any better. Which is a shame because she is now a resident at Cornell Medical Hospital in NYC. She can definitely find a better caliber of men than my ex *shrugs*.
Post # 13
armychica06 : I believe he most likely did lie to her and that is why he doesn’t want her to meet you… this same type of situation happened to me but I was with my ex for many years and one of the women he cheated on me with that he is now married to he forbid her to meet me and have a chat. At this point she has been with your ex and in your sons life for 4 years now… there isn’t much to talk about nor touch base on. I feel you are More wanting to meet her to get your side of the story out and what you feel and while it can be very empowering for you, you have your son to think about and how this will effect any type of coparenting you might have in place with your ex.
Post # 14
armychica06 : there is definitely some lie that he is trying to protect.
Post # 15
If your child is interacting with her, I would 100% want to meet her. Would you let your child attend a school if you didn’t know the teacher? Or join a sport if the coach refused to meet you? It seems as though you’ve been doing a good job emotionally managing such a difficult situation!