(Closed) So He is Getting Married

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 62
Member
8439 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

armychica06 :  I think the reason why a lot of people are convinced that you’re bitter is because you equate the other woman’s level of attractiveness to her self esteem.  Being good-looking (since you determined her attractiveness after viewing a picture) does not determine one’s self-esteem.  To be honest, the statement is pretty superficial and gross.  You don’t have to like her, but please don’t perpetuate the idea that a woman’s value is based on her looks.

Post # 63
Member
2680 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

housebee :  exactly. And, I hate to point it out, but obviously someone found her attractive or else they wouldn’t all be in this predicament. 

Post # 66
Member
827 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

armychica06 :  I thought I would add that it sounds like you’ve been really brave considering the situation re looking after your son, moving away, meeting someone new. Those things are not easy. Your OP was all about your son, that was how I saw it. And for now, you feel more comfortable not meeting her (even though you did try) but you sound open minded about doing it if things change in the future. To me that’s positive. 

I think keeping the door open sounds good, you might feel stronger about meeting her further down the line. 

You’re still hurting, hence the line about her looks, but I’m not sure why the other bees have defended the OW so passionately. They ask ‘what if she didn’t know’ etc and they’re asking you to consider the different possibilities re their affair. Yet they’re taking your posts at face value without considering all your experiences, grieving process, good days/bad days and your overall long term 3D position as a result of their behaviour. You made one flippant remark, it doesn’t mean you’re not doing what you can to let go. 

 

 

Post # 67
Member
1815 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

armychica06 :  I wouldn’t want her around my son unless I’d met her. I guess at this point it’s a bit late for that. I would have refused to allow any visitation if this woman was present. She’s probably a lovely woman (she’s dedicating her life to helping the sick after all), but it sounds like she’s a bit of a coward if she won’t even meet you for coffee. 

I guess I’d get on with my life and not care what they do. They say once a cheater always a cheater – so chances are she’ll always have to wonder if he’s going to cheat on her too. He’s probably scared to have you meet her because he’s probably told her what a horrible ogre you are, and if she meets you she’ll see what a normal pleasant person you are

Post # 70
Member
42 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2017

I don’t think it’s necessary to meet her.

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