(Closed) So he saved up all his money and is buying…

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
604 posts
Busy bee

Hmmm maybe he is trying to throw you off. If he does come back with a camera, then you should sit down with him and talk it out.

Post # 4
Member
1106 posts
Bumble bee

aww sweetie I’m so sorry πŸ™ I cant really offer any advice but I can offer a shoulder or ears to listen.

Post # 6
Member
806 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

If you talk to him, I think you should try to get a sense of what his general time frame is, and let him know what yours is (you are 50% of the equation). 

Don’t make it about how upset you are he just bought a camera – if you haven’t had frank discussions about when engagement is coming, he may just be thinking about it in a vague sense (maybe this year, maybe next year, la di da), and have no idea how upset this makes you until you tell him.  

I would leave the camera out of the discussion – what you really want to know is whether he’s serious about engagement within a reasonable time frame you can live with.  Don’t let him use vague comments about “finances” as an ongoing excuse to delay.  You can ask him what specifically that means, and what steps he’s taking to overcome that.  Is there a certain $ amount he needs to have saved to feel ready?  Etc. 

It’s possible it’s not really about money and he just doesn’t feel ready to be engaged or married yet.  (Particularly if he’s still in his 20s and/or many of his guy friends aren’t married).  This is something you can try to tease out when you talk to him.

 

Post # 7
Member
74 posts
Worker bee

Aw, I’m sorry…

I think it’s a little mean to have photos of the ring on the box if he doesn’t intend to actually save for that right now.  You’re right though, it doesn’t sound like he’s financially ready yet.

Post # 8
Member
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Awee…I’m sorry you are feeling this way.  But, I agree with Chipmunk, don’t get too worked up until he actually comes home with a camera!  If he does, you probably need to sit down with him so he understands why you may be upset.

Good Luck…and keep us posted!

Post # 9
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Eh, did he really spend ALL his money on the camera? Or is he buying both? Maybe he has plans for the camera.

It’s not nice to tease, though!

Post # 10
Member
5498 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Ouch.  = ( I’m sorry!

Post # 11
Member
2054 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I hope that he is just trying to throw you off…but I have been in a similar situation lately…I THINK that the ring is his next purchase but he told me that on friday (he had the day off) he went to the Subaru dealership to look at the Forrester…and then I saw him on his laptop and he was shopping for a new laptop. I got really upset about it yesterday and ended up just leaving the room and showering to cool off…so I know how it is…its just like…WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!?!?

The worst party is Teddy has noticed Im upset…and we actually did talk about it about a month ago because I was so frustrated about it…so i suggest that you do that…talk to him about a timeline…so that you are more comfortable waiting. it helps. in my situation I dont know if he is going to stay true to his timeline…I think that he KNOWS he needs to get the ring before anything else (my parents are moving out of the country next august so we want to have the wedding before then) but we will see.

Post # 12
Member
170 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

You know, my old roommate had been with her boyfriend fo 4 years when he saved up all his money and bought…a truck. She was livid. His old one had been fine, but he explained to her that he wanted to spend “his” money on something just for him before it became “their” money. Sure enough, he bought her an engagement ring and proposed less than 6 months later. So, you never know. Maybe he’s just doing one last thing for himself before he always has to consider “we” when making a purchase.

Post # 13
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee

Yeah, being upset is completely understandable but…

 

I see that he’s really into photography given that he sold two cameras, and is buying a new one.  Is he a professional?  Is he planning on becoming a professional or doing some amateur photography for a fee?  Maybe he hopes to supplement his income so he can buy your ring and still have a camera…or he’ll purchase a stand in ring.

 

My Fiance did that for me–yeah it sucked at first but I realize the ring is such a small part of us being together and getting married.  But I understand your frustration, my Fiance would be looking at getting a new computer, new mp3 player, buying this and that–and I got so flustered that I confronted him (he was just being oblivious to my wants and he also felt guilted that he would never be able to buy me my “dream” ring while we were still in school.)

Post # 14
Member
1245 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Aww I’m so sorry! I’m sure it will happen soon, maybe he’ll surprise you. 

Post # 15
Member
2054 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

ps-I must say that it makes me feel a little relieved that others feel frustrated about our SOs buying other stuff other than “the ring” I thought I was the only one…

Post # 16
Member
329 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

He is totally messing with you. Go along with it.

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