(Closed) So how do I tell my mom I bought a new dress?

posted 8 years ago in Dress
Post # 3
Member
58 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Don’t tell her until you sell the one she bought you so you can give her some money back when you do tell her. 

Post # 4
Member
46597 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

If you are adult enough to be married, you are adult enough to talk with your mom. Tell her about the new dress, tell her you plan to sell the other dress and repay her.

Post # 5
Member
571 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I think you could have added a sash and a sweetheart neckline to the first one, they are very similar.  I guess you have no choice but to talk to her and let her know!

Post # 6
Member
14660 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I agree with julies.  Don’t go behind her back and sell the dress she bought you without even telling her!  Talk to her about your decision, show her your new one explaining that you had to buy it on the spot since it was a sample sale and only $25,  ask her opinion too (she might even love it more than the first since you said that wasnt her favorite) and explain your plan repay her by selling the dress she bought.

Post # 8
Member
190 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

First, I would definitely tell your mom what happened. Be aware of her feelings and reassure her that you intend to pay her back all of the money, not just some….she may decide to pay you for your new dress, but that should be her choice.

Honestly, I don’t think it will be a big deal. I’m sure she just wants you to be comfortable with your wedding dress and she may end up liking the new dress better (since you said she wan’t in love with the first one to begin with). And I ladyjenn…the dresses look VERY similar. I had to look closely to pick out the differences.

Post # 9
Member
161 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Just dont tell her.  Maybe she will have forgotten by the time your wedding comes.  🙂  The dresses are very similar and you tried on a lot of dresses so it is easy to get confused.

Okay dont actually do that.  But maybe you can do some bridal portraits with the dress your mom bought so she can see it on you.  You will have those photos forever.

Post # 12
Member
46597 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@whiteorchid:Sorry you took my comments the wrong way. I said if you were adult enough to get married (which you are) you are adult enough to talk with her.

I have always found that direct communication gives the best results. The sooner you talk with your mom the less likely she is to hear about it from someone else and be more upset.

 You don’t have to feel terrible that your mom wasted her money.You can always pay your mom back, then sell the first dress to recover your own money.

Post # 13
Member
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

i admit my first reaction was what the first comment said – tell her after you the sell old one. then after reading the comments and thinking some more, i realized that would be a bad idea. its best to talk to her first.  maybe you could start the conversation by saying that you have been having dress regret since you got the first one, but felt bad about it because she had so generous to pay for it. and even tell her about what your Fiance said etc.  and explain how you felt pressured by the salesperson and bought it rather impulsively….basically explain your thought process about what led up to getting the new one.  i don;t know your mom, but hopefully after hearing all that she would be understanding of how this happened.  hopefully she just wants you to be as happy as possible on your wedding.

also tell her you will sell the dress eventually. even if you leave it advertised for months, eventually it will sell. you definitely cannot get all your money back. i think the rule of thumb is sell it with a 25% discount, so if you advertise for $550 or $575, you should be able to sell it!   i did that with my first dress. i paid $1600 and sold it $1200.  and because the second one was so cheap, in the end she will be getting most of her money back, so how is that not a good thing?! i would even offer to pay the difference yourself of what she doesn’t get back (my guess is she wont take it though)

Post # 14
Member
58 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@Sassy5412: Yeah I wrote my first reaction but I also think your answer is probably best!

Post # 15
Member
1641 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Before speaking with your mom, write a list of things that were wrong with the first dress, a list of all the things that are right with the new dress and options for what can done about paying her back for the first dress.

Good luck!

Post # 16
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I think if you had stuck to the old dress your fiance would have loved it when he actually saw you in it on your wedding day.  Have you considered wearing both dresses? I honestly actually like the first one more, you could wear one for the ceremony and change the other one.

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