(Closed) So hurt and chastizing myself for being a wus! This is a long post, sorry.

posted 4 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
47254 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

bridalruss87:  You asked someone who you had met once  to be in the bridal party. There is a reason why it’s recommended to choose only your nearest and dearest to be in your wedding party.

Just lower your expectations and she might be able to meet them. You can’t control her behavior. You can control your response. Make a conscious choice to not let her push your buttons.

Post # 4
Member
558 posts
Busy bee

Aaaaaaand this is why people elope.

Post # 5
Member
1325 posts
Bumble bee

I just have a MoH (FSIL) because she has the time, is family, and is local enough to help me without fuss. I discussed with my best friend and we decided together it was best she stay out of the bridal party and the responsibility which goes with it and just come and have a lovely time on the day. 

Best decision I made! No fuss, no fighting about who is or isn’t in the party; I chose 1 person who is close family and a good friend and I left it at that. Just because you’re not wearing a matching dress it doesn’t mean I don’t value you – people need to get over themselves! 

Post # 6
Member
2122 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

I’m of the opinion that the role of the bridesmaid is nothing more than standing up with you and being there for you on your wedding day.

You were sweet to ask your fiancé’s siblings to be in your wedding party. They should get a plus one but they sound rude and immature in the way they went about it. Stop worrying about it though. You can’t change their behaviour. Just focus on the wedding itself and ignore the drama. You’ll be glad you did.

Post # 8
Member
2083 posts
Buzzing bee

If they weren’t in the wedding party would you still care about their attendance at the bridal shower?  It isn’t your fault, they shouldn’t have asked to be in the wedding party but you’ve kind of hit the nail on the head in your own post, “Logically speaking, people in your bridal party are people who are your friends, and normally friends want to make you happy” But they aren’t really your friends.  Couple that with a lot of girls really don’t enjoy bridal showers or bachelorette parties and its just an expectations disaster.  You are hoping for a bonding experience and them to jump in with your friends to plan and participate.  They didn’t think it through and now that it comes down to it they aren’t that interested in participating in all of these things. 

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