(Closed) So Hurt and Disappointed. About to cry

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
3150 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

@jaylinjo:  how bizarre. Have you asked mom I she’s heard anything? Also it’s odd to assume tht since you invited 167 people that all were goin to show! I would have reported 140 (tho that is still far off from 60). Sorry this happened 🙁

Post # 4
90 posts
Worker bee

I’m so sorry!  I don’t have any advice, but is there any chance your mom or someone could find out what is going on with the rest of your family?

Post # 5
603 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@jaylinjo:  sorry that really sucks!…can you ask your Mum to contact the people on your side that havent responded? I am sure it isnt as bad as you think…maybe they assume that you know they will be there..my family is like that…a lot of people probably just assume that you know they will be there maybe?

Post # 7
46607 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@jaylinjo:  Have you done the follow up phone calls? Way too many people don’t send rsvp’s. Divide up the phoning list with a couple of helpers. You may find that there are more people planning on attending than you think.

Post # 8
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

That sucks. But there’s got to be some reason everyone’s suddenly doing a disappearing act. Have you considered doing a pop-in on one or two of them that you’re closest to?

Post # 10
593 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Its strange that so many of them said no.. I had a similar thing happen but on a MUCH smaller scale.. My mom’s family is all local (she has 4 siblings and they have kids/grandkids, etc) and my dad’s family lives all over the place.. We invited them all. Now even despite the distance, my dads family is a lot closer than moms so I wasn’t suprised when they all said yes, regardless of the traveling. Now, just because I am not as close with my mothers family, we are still fairly close, and when my sister passed away last April they really pulled together for my family and we grew closer. They all live in the same town as us (and as our wedding, literally none of them are further than 15 minutes from the venue) so I was sure they would all come. Now my moms only sister (who we are by far the closest to, in fact her youngest daugther who is 2 years younger than me is one of my bridesmaids) is coming with her other 2 daughters/their SO’s and my moms oldest brother is also coming. However, two my moms other brothers and their wives and all their kids (my cousins and their SO’s) are not coming.. No explaination whatsoever.. at least we got the RSVP back but they didn’t give us an excuse or anything..

What really irritated me is I had a bridal shower about 2 months ago. Both of these brothers wives were invited to the shower. One of them came to the shower (and said how she couldn’t wait until the wedding).. The other my aunt (who is coming) called to find out if she and her daughter were coming to the shower since they had not RSVP’ed and they said that they couldn’t becaue it was my cousins 1 year wedding anniversery and they were going out of town for the weekend and she was babysitting there son but that they would DEFINTELY be at the wedding. Now I understood the shower completely and was just glad they were coming to the wedding. I got their RSVP back the day befor they were due as a no and no explaination given..

I still have no idea why.. but honestly, I am kinda done with them. Maybe thats silly, but I feel really hurt by it. I think some of it may be though my cousin got pregnant and ended up having a spur of the moment wedding with only a few close friends and family (We were not invited, none of the family was) and maybe they are jealous because we are doing the big “proper” wedding. 

Post # 11
613 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

That is so weird. I’m so sorry this is happening to you. I’d definitely take a drive by and pay a friendly little visit to see why the lack of communication on their end. Please keep us updated! HUGS

Post # 14
593 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@jaylinjo:  Good luck!! I hope you get answers and I hope at least some of them plan to support you on your big day!!! 

Post # 15
9053 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

This whole situation is so strange, sorry you’re going through this.

However, having to commit to a number 60 days out at your venue is kind of crazy.  I’ve never heard of this before, and I plan events for work semi-regularly.  I’m doing an event in a month and they don’t require a guarantee until 14 days prior to the event, and even then it can go up, no problem.  Lots of people wouldn’t have even sent invites by 60 days out, never mind know how many people are coming.

Post # 16
5886 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Numbers at 60 days? They havent order the food yet. I understand they have minimums, but to have to pay for all 167 is outrageous! We had to put out #’s in 2 weeks before (pretty standard) so they can put their food orders in.

I woudl talk to the venue and see if they can cut you a deal. If they dont, make sure they cook all 167 meals for you. Bring lots for palstic conatinars and bring the food home or donate it to a shelter. 

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