Post # 1
After weeks of hard thinking, I got up the courage to ask my fiance about a new ring. Sort of. This ring
Actually it is the exact same setting as my ring but with diamond side stones and moissanite center stone. Mine is Asha. He bought it back when money was more scarce for us. I love my ring so much. I just want to have it forever and I didn’t know when I would ever see this setting again when my Ashas loose their luster.Plus I want a diamond wedding band with it so I was worried about finding diamonds to match my Ashas.
He didn’t react well even though I asked very nicely. ( ” Baby, you know how I love my ring so much and want to have it forever…”) I even offered to help pay since my Asha isn’t very old. He thinks the ring I have isn’t good enough which isn’t at all true…I love my ring more than anything in the world. Now, my FH is depressed and I feel shallow and heartbroken that i made him feel that way.
Idk where to go from here. Help?
Post # 3
@CBWFlove: eeeeek! You’ve only had your ring for 5 months or so, right? It may have been more tactful to have asked further down the road.
All you can really do it apologise and try to explain it a little better. I sort of understand how his feelings would be hurt though :/
Post # 4
@CBWFlove: Why do you want to replace it now? If you’re worried about the Asha getting cloudy, I would wait a few years. I think he’ll be able to understand your concerns when he can see a difference.
Post # 5
What if you just bought it for yourself? It’s the exact same ring and everything, right?
Post # 6
@CBWFlove: Has your Asha gotten cloudy already? If you told him you truly love the ring itself, and there’s nothing wrong with the ring, then I can see him not understanding your point of view.
Post # 7
It may be difficult to find diamonds to match your asha, but switching to moissy will make it impossible and you’ll have to get a moissy wedding band. Take it from a moissy owner who has been working on a wedding band for months now and is resigning herself to a custom band. (The estimate is 3K, which is significantly higher than the cost of my ering. I don’t mind, but my fiance feels really bad that my ring made a wedding band so impossible. Just something to think about.)
If you want a moissy why not keep the setting and swap the stone, either when the asha clouds or when you get your wedding band so that you know your det matches?
Post # 8
Could you post a picture of the ring? Are your sidestones Asha too? was he aware that by getting an Asha your intention was to replace it? I think you should wait a while regardless. The Asha will hold up for a few more years.
Post # 9
- Wedding: February 2017 - Seattle, WA
I agree with PPs, I’m not sure what the point in getting a new ring is if your Asha is still in great condition? I plan to get an Asha as well, and keep it as long as I can! Hopefully 3-5 years, then consider replacing it. Good luck with whatever you choose!
Post # 10
@CBWFlove: While an asha won’t last forever, it looks like you’ve only had it 5 months and in your first post said you’re poor college students. I’d keep it around for a while longer and broach the topic again when your asha is getting worn out.
Post # 11
Did he know Asha is not a forever stone and would cloud eventually over time when you got it?
I can understand your concern for wanting to replace the stone eventually, but maybe he is just upset with how quickly you brought it up. I think it is good to have a plan for replacing the stone knowing what Asha does overtime, but it is probably too soon to be mentioning it if the stone hasn’t clouded yet.
Post # 12
@pixiecat: An Asha can be a very long term ring. It really depends on how hard you are on jewelry. I have worn a plain CZ ring for 4 years and it is not cloudy or damaged at all, while someone else might abrade their stone and need a new one in a year. I don’t think after 5 months it’s fair to say whether the ring will or will not last.
CZs are not guaranteed to cloud any more than diamonds are guaranteed to crack. It can happen, but it’s not a sure thing.
Post # 13
I know its early to bring it up, the only reason I did was because Idk how long Serenade diamonds will have the other one in stock. and I really want the “same” ring forever.But I do see that it is early and why he would be hurt. I think I was just rationalizing because I thought this would be the best route to make my ring a forever ring.
Yes my side stones are Asha too. And the thing is we aren’t as poor as we were, since then he got a better job and I had a summer job I’m still saving from that and I have money coming in.
Post # 14
@CBWFlove: that style of ring isn’t going away any time soon. Worst case scenario you get another custom made a few years down the line.
Post # 15
You know, my hubby and I just had a conversation about my e-ring last weekend…didn’t go so well either, but let me tell you what I did that smooth it over. I will make a long story short: I have honestly disliked my e-ring setting since I got it. We picked it out together HOWEVER, there was a misunderstanding at the time and I thought I told him I wanted the diamond (that we picked out together) put in a solitaire setting (which is what I wanted) well….he apparently never heard me say that and he purchased the ring as it was in a pave/miligrain setting. It’s pretty, but a solitaire setting is more my style…..anyway, fast forward 7 years later..yes, 7 years and I FINALLY get the nerve to ask him if I could get it reset.
He got upset and told me how much the ring I have means to him…how everytime he looks at it he thinks of the day he asked me to marry him…etc…..ok, now he’s crying…and I feel TERRIBLE. I told him I was sorry for considering resetting it and I would never do anything to alter it or change it. He was ok after that.
Sorry, that was a little longer then I planned 🙂 anyway, if he’s really upset about it, just apologize and leave it.
Post # 16
I did this too, and at first FI said the same thing. I tried to explain all I want is ROSE gold instead of white gold. I even told him about this WAY before he bought it. (he asked me my ring size 2 days after our first date!) He knew exactly what I wanted and I feel like he didn’t do it because we HE didn’t like the rose gold. I told him if I wear it should be what I like. It wouldn’t have been any more $$ so I really didn’t see the point in not getting it. He finally has come to terms with it and sees i was right because I did tell him and he didn’t listen. I mean, why ask a girl what she wants and then NOT deliver?? just a thought…. We have decided to compromise. The new ring is two toned so I can have a white gold wedding band or a rose gold one. He will pick it out. He really loves the new setting I found and even wants to get me a bigger better diamond.
I don’t like the idea of telling the man ‘i don’t like my ring, i want a new one’ but if they knew what you liked … well it was all on them. Now, if you want something that is WAY out of his budget I think that is a little too much. Hopefully you guys can come to some sort of agreement either way.