(Closed) So I can't afford a wedding at all! What do I do?

posted 6 years ago in Money
Post # 2
Member
3772 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Have the wedding you can afford, even if that means just the two of you going to the courthouse. You can invite your parents and a few friends out for dinner afterward. Your marriage will be no less valid because you don’t have a giant wedding with 300 guests.

Post # 3
Member
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2015 - On a Cliff Overlooking the Bay, Florida

 

Jennavigland:  Do you have to get married right away? I have a couple frineds who have  gone to the courthouse and had a party at a leter time like 6, 8 or 12 months later.

Post # 4
Member
334 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

court house wedding now, big ceremony/vow renewal in a few years when money is there.  dont spent more than you can afford, especially when there is a baby to feed.  

Post # 5
Member
2639 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa

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Jennavigland:  My sister and her husband went to the courthouse and invited both immediate families to be there (our parents, my husband and I, her husband’s parents, and his sister). I think the limit on attendance for courthouse weddings is something like 9 people. We then went out to lunch after. Their decision was not financially motivated, but I think it cost $30 for the marriage license, $30 for the judge (he was on break so it cost them for the private ceremony), and lunch for 9 must have been about $200-250 (we didn’t go anywhere fancy, it was a brewery). So they certainly saved a lot of money.

Post # 6
Member
563 posts
Busy bee

Your priority now is obviously your baby. Could you get married soon with the jp and then do like a small reception with friends and family?

Post # 7
Member
2019 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

 

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Jennavigland:  The marriage license is pretty cheap, after that you find an officiant come to your house or to a relatives house and plan a potluck wedding/party. See if your family is down with the idea and if they are then go for it and if not then throw your own at your house and who ever wants to come can. Wear something you already have or get something cheap if you’re wanting something new. Then you’re only cooking maybe a dish or two and paying for the officiant to marry you. Your family can witness your vows and eat dinner/lunch/snacks/whatever to celebrate with you.

Post # 8
Member
563 posts
Busy bee

I like the idea of a small affair now and a bigger one in a couple of years. 

Post # 9
Member
442 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013 - Tybee Island, GA

 

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MstoMrsH:  This.

I agree! Find a backyard, spruce it up! Have a potluck and have your family bring food; and you can put some money towards some BBQ and have you a wedding! Marriage License are pretty cheap, and this way you can still have the wedding vibe

Post # 10
Member
6412 posts
Bee Keeper

View original reply
Jennavigland:  What kind of wedding have you dreamed of?  Is it the wedding you’ve dreamed of or the marriage?  My husband and I couldn’t afford a lavish wedding at all, we had a daughter four months (when we got married), but the most important thing to me wasn’t the wedding, but the marriage.  We got dolled up, brought our daughter, and got married in a courthouse.  A friend of ours took pictures right outside of house for the memories, and it was the best day for us.  My mom so generously paid for a reception for us to have.  But honestly, I didn’t need all that, just getting married to the man I loved was good enough for me.

I like the backyard suggestion, I’ve seen some very romantic and beautiful backyard weddings.

Post # 11
Member
2696 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

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Jennavigland:  Agree with PPs who said to have the wedding you can afford.

Not many people can actually have the ‘fairytale wedding’ anyways. The important thing is that you will be marrying your love. I was upset I couldn’t have the wedding I always dreamed of, but really the further I got into planning the more I reaized how little it mattered and how much I wish I just went somewhere with my Fiance, got married and had a simple dinner afterwards. All of the fluff is just a pain in the but.

Btw… I know people who have done a potluck wedding and it was beautiful.

Post # 12
Member
2092 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Don’t allow yourselves to go broke over a “wedding,” since that would be a pretty shitty way to start out a marriage. If you’re adament on getting married soon then keep it small and simple. Have a backyard wedding, small church wedding with cake and punch, or just go to the courthouse and have a vow renewal down the line. Don’t focus on what you won’t be able to have, and instead focus on your real priorities (career, baby, becoming stable, etc) and make the best of what you can afford. Othewise just have a long engagement until you guys are financially stable enough to afford what you want. 

Post # 13
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I totally understand the not wanting to get married at the courthouse business. I don’t want a big extravagant wedding, but sometimes the courthouse just doesn’t feel real.

So….

I agree with the backyard plan. You can also get married at many local parks. So here is what you do…

1. Get a minister (do either of you attend church? If you do, they will usually do it for free. Otherwise, it’s about $100.).

2. Get on Amazon, craigslist, friends, family, weddingbee and find a nice white dress that you can afford. FYI David’s Bridal has a LOVELY dress for $99. There are LOADS for under $50. Find one that you like.

3. Go to HobbyLobby or Michaels (or even Walmart) and get yourself some flowers to make into a bouqet. You can even make boutonnieres. Pitnerest has LOADS of tutorials.

4. Go to the local mall and schedule to have your makeup done. If your mall doesn’t do that, go to a local hairdressing school and they will do your hair and makeup for about $15. 

5. Invite your friends and family.

 

6. Have a potluck where everyone brings one dish and you have yourself a reception.

Post # 14
Member
562 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Your marriage will be no less valid if it’s a courthouse/jp wedding. Most important thing is to be married, and to have money for necessities for yourselves and your baby. A wedding is only one day out of your life, and trust me, not everyone is able to have a fairytale wedding. Don’t start your lives together stressed about debt, there are more important things to consider at present than having a big party. 

Post # 15
Member
1288 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

 

View original reply
Jennavigland:  Why don’t you go to the courthouse and have a nice ceremony there, and then afterwards plan a “backyard” reception. Have certain people in the family in charge of certain foods. Everyone brings something different to feed the guests. You could still decorate, play an iPOD on a sound system, get your Fiance a nice suit, and you a nice dress. Make it the best you can with what you have to work with. OR wait a few years and slowly put away money for your “dream day”- if you’re willing to wait that long to get married.

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