- 6 years ago
- Wedding: June 2013
Our premarital counselor!
And I’m SO glad we did! We met him on Tuesday, to see if we were a good ‘fit’, as they say. We talked for about an hour and a half, made plans to meet the next week, and he was going to email us the questionairre. Well, after Fiance and I left the meeting, we went for dinner, and we found ourselves talking about the meeting. At first we seemed satisfied, but the more we talked about it, the more we remembered about the meeting that did NOT go well!
First off, The pastor had these piercing, stare into your soul eyeballs, and Fiance says he just would NOT stop staring at him, like he was trying to ‘figure him out.’ He asked us in turn what brought us to religion originally, and when we answered, he just sat there blinking at us like our answers were totally unsatisfactory. AND, when my Fiance told a totally personal story about the loss of a loved one in his family that led him to a struggle (and ultimate resolution) about Christianity, the man flat out said that there was no way that my Fiance could have comprehended or been affected by a death as an older child. It struck me as odd at the time, but he changed the subject so quickly we didnt comprehend what he said right away. And then he started TEXTING! At first we thought he was checking his calendar for scheduling, but Fiance was paying closer attention than me and noticed he wasnt paying attention to us at all! As we left, he made this totally offhand comment that we remembered later…. “Well, if I was the one marrying you, I’d have completely different standards, but since I’m not the one marrying you, this should be fine.” You mean we dont meet your standards to marry? And then we just stood awkwardly in the hallway before he finally was like “….welll….SEE YOU NEXT WEEK.” and then stared at us with his judgey eyeballs until we left.
We had talked about payment options, what time each week we would be meeting, and other stuff. But he never DID email us the survey like we’d talked about, and looking back, we were flat out uncomfortable the whole time! So we shot him an email, told him we didnt think we were a good fit and thanks for your time (yeah right)! Take that! Now we’re meeting with an extremely pleasant non-secular pre-marital counselor tomorrow, and we’re super excited! We should feel good about our counseling, not that everything we say is the ‘wrong answer!’.
We feel like a huge weight has been lifted! We were both raised Christian, but we can totally see how some people could be ‘put off’ by the church! Has anyone else ever ‘dumped’ your premarital counselor/minister, and felt GREAT about it?