(Closed) So I guess I'm engaged now….

posted 4 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
749 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

uughhh thats kind of sucky.. 

did you ever express to him that you wanted a “real” proposal? And how come you wore the ring (georgeous btw) before you were “engaged”?.. that might have sent him the wrong message.. 

I if i were you i would give him back the ring and tell him you dont want to see it again until he is ready to ask you properly.. 

(but thats just me.. i gave my ring back until he asked my dad.. You can bet he asked him the very same day!! lol)

Post # 4
942 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@GonnaBeAFind:  Did you want a proposal before all the planning? Or are you okay with the current arrangement? 


If your post was to suggest that you wanted a proposal first (Which I couldn’t tell), then I would personally probably put the ring back in the box and tell him that you don’t feel comfortable wearing an engagement ring without being asked first. 

But if you don’t mind, congrats on finding a venue and for waiting so patiently to be asked!

Post # 5
8044 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

It’s a lovely ring! Congratulations!

I’m in the camp where we picked the ring together and I didn’t want a “real” proposal. I never wanted a sappy/emotional/cheesy proposals. We knew for a long time we wanted to get married. When the perfect ring came up, we ordered it. It was basically never a question on whether we were engaged or not.

A proposal lasts a few minutes… I am not sure why so many people place such importance on it. From your post I am not sure if you’re really disappointed or not.. you seem to be handling it well, anyway. It sounds like with him the intent to marry was always there, and to me that’s the important thing. A bit strange how he left the ring out in the open like that, but who knows. Sounds like it’s all resolved now though, which is good!

Post # 6
4528 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I’d personally ask to be asked. I don’t need fireworks and a photographer there to capture it, or even him bent on one knee, but I’d rather not be engaged by default.

Can you tell him you’d like a prosal, even if it’s nothing fancy

Post # 7
4528 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

And congrats on an official date!

Post # 8
1239 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Congrats on having an official date and a beautiful ring. 

Post # 10
258 posts
Helper bee

@GonnaBeAFind:   First off! Congrats! 


Second off YAY DATE TWIN! 

Post # 11
1145 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

don’t worry. A bigger day is coming. If it is eating you out on the inside just let him know.

Post # 12
3555 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@GonnaBeAFind:  FI never proposed to me. We had a conversation and made the mutual decision to get married. The previous sentance is my answer to how he proposed, which suprisingly did not get asked very much when we annouced our engagement. The more common question was ‘when is the wedding?’.

Post # 13
644 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Hazard of the trade, I guess.   You agreed to accept the ring and went through with all the business details of getting a venue and such.  It does suck some of the romance out of it but it doesn’t mean your relationship is any less special!  🙂

Just tell people that there was no proposal.  You guys just decided to get married and he got a ring.   Who cares if it’s not the grandest story ever told.  People will be ok.

Cheer up – at least now you have venue stress out of the way




Post # 14
315 posts
Helper bee

I am still waiting on my proposal. I don’t need a 5 star dinner or fireworks. I am just happy to be with the man I love. I wouldve been slighly pissed if my guy was like here you can wear it but you can’t have it yet but men dont think congrats tho Your ring is amazing!!

Post # 16
526 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@GonnaBeAFind:  you said:  “I guess the advice I’m looking for is how do a respond to the questions of “how did he propose?” without going into a long explanation of how we just decided together we were going to get married.”

What’s wrong with that explanation?  That’s what my fiance and I did!  When people ask, “Did he propose?” I just say, “No, we just discussed getting married and then we picked out a ring together.”  That’s a perfectly acceptable explanation.  

You could also say that you agreed together that you’re going to get married, but that he is also planning a nice surprise to celebrate your engagement.

Congrats, and gorgeous ring btw!

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