(Closed) So, I guess I’m having children at my wedding now….

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

Nip this in the bud. Tell her that while she’d love to see her kids, this is an adult only wedding and reception due to budget. 

Post # 4
Member
4887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

If you wanted a wedding with no children then now is definitely the time to nip this in the bud. 

Post # 5
Member
560 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Ooh, that sounds like a difficult spot to be in. I love kids and want them at my wedding, but I absolutely understand why some don’t. I’ve heard of others who only allow the children of those in the wedding party – is that an option for you?

Post # 7
Member
281 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I’m having issues with this as well, and my wedding still 11 months away! People got wind I didn’t want kids and they flipped! All of my cousins have children, one of my sisters has 3 kids…I was told if they couldnt bring the kids they weren’t coming. But I am sticking firmly to my no kids policy. I’m not even having kids IN my wedding. So, I would let her know, and if she gets upset don’t feel guilty, this is your day!

Post # 8
Member
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

If you really do not want and/or cannot afford to have children at the wedding – you need to have the hard conversation with your friend that unfortunately children are not on the guest list.  I’ve had to have that conversation with a few friends – some of them won’t be coming as a result, but I knew that was a sacrifice I’d be making with my no-children rule.  

I suppose another alternative is to set up childcare during the wedding reception.  To me though, that was just extra work and expense that I was not going to take on.  

Post # 10
Member
4887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

If you invite one, you must invite all, IMO.  Regardless of out of town status.

Post # 12
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Since she’s Out of Town then she obviously has to bring her kids or leave them with someone at home, which she probably doesn’t want to do. Just because she’ll be traveling with her children, doesn’t mean that they have to attend the wedding. I would talk to her asap and try to figure out an alternative. Maybe one of the grandmothers wouldn’t mind tagging along to watch the kids while the parents are at the wedding? If that won’t work, then I would look into some kind of child care. 

I know people have varying opinions on this but I think it’s perfectly acceptable to make exceptions for your traveling guests. We had an adults only wedding but there were still a few kids there because they were either in the Bridal Party or from Out of Town. Not a single person complained about us not including their kids because they fully understood. In my circle, parents don’t get all pissy when their kids aren’t invited. They consider it a night off and most look forward to it. 

Post # 14
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

@jackndiane: Before you start budgeting for a few dozen kids, I would ask around and see how your family and close friends feel since situations like this can vary greatly. Like I said in my PP, we didn’t have a single complaint from parents whose children were not included because they understood the Out of Town thing. Most of our guests wouldn’t have brought their kids even if they were invited since it was an evening reception (i.e. not appropriate for children, IMO) and they were looking forward to a night off. Assess the situation and see if you’ll really be ruffling some feathers before you make any concrete decisions. 

Post # 16
Member
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

“I’m glad you’ll be able to make the trip into a family vacation.  Do you know how many days you’re staying?  Would you like me to help you find a babysitter for while you’re at the wedding?”

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