(Closed) So I have a second ring now… how would you feel?

posted 6 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
4714 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1998

just wear it when they are around then take it off and wear your own ring

Post # 4
Member
1319 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I’d be torn between graciously accepting it, but never wearing it, and returning it to them saying, “thank you so much for your generous gift, but I could never replace the sentiment that comes with my original e-ring.” it seems disrespectful of them to just replace your ring like that. But probably not worth a family fight.

Post # 5
Member
3968 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

That is INSANE! His family bought you a ring!? Wow! I would just wear it when they were around.
ETA: Though honestly I dont know a lot about Chinese culture, I hope your Fiance was not offended that his parents felt like they had to do that for their own … pride, I gues?

Post # 7
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@Pinkmoon:  Although I didn’t get an engagement ring from my in-laws, i know exactly how you are feeling. My in-laws will spend about 45.000$ on our wedding, my fiance the rest and my parents won’t contribute, because they are from a different country. I always feel guilty that they spend so much money on us, but they also insist on inviting all their co-workers and neighbors, so I feel like they should…nevertheless, I know where you are coming from. You never asked for such an expensive gift and don’t want to look or feel ungrateful. I think your solution is really smart though! Keep on wearing the in-law ring on the right, so they see that you apprechiate it and wear the original on the left. After all, you don’t want to disappoint your fiance (by exchanging his ring) and I am sure your in-laws will understand this excuse;)

Post # 8
Member
11355 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

Would you have any interest in setting the new stone in your original setting?

Post # 10
Member
3452 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Wow!  I don’t know what I would do if I was in this situation.  I think it’s a bit odd to give your daughter-in-law a diamond engagement ring as a wedding gift.  I could see if they helped your Fiance pay for it before he bought the first one or whatever.  What does your Fiance think?

Post # 12
Member
3968 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Pinkmoon:  on a new band! 🙂

Post # 15
Member
349 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

If it were me I would be really upset. I think they should respect your decision. This seems kind of like they are saying what you want isn’t good enough and they know what’s best for you. Of course I would never let them know that I felt that way. I would just graciously accept it and wear it when they are around or maybe put it on a necklace.

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