(Closed) So… I need more friends…

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I’m the same. :/ Fiance has like a bazillion people he keeps up with. I have like, 3. And they are my Maid/Matron of Honor and 2 BMs. I was having a hard time coming up with friends I’d actually invite, other than mutual “couple friends” that usually he knew first… so, moral of the store – you are not alone! And I think I’m pretty likable and awesome, just not a very good mass friend?

Post # 4
Member
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

Aww, I know what you mean. Other than my four BMs (two of which are family), and FI’s shared group of friends that are mostly guys, I don’t really have friends, either. I kept exactly one friend from college and zero from high school.

Post # 5
Member
223 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

me too! the thing is before i got serious with my fiance, i had a ton of friends…but eventually i started hanging around with his friends or couple friends of ours. i got a lot of crap from my friends in the beginning because of that. it’s just the way i am. ugh. 

Post # 6
Member
5572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I feel the same way, you’re not alone!!

Post # 7
Member
132 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I can totally relate to this. I’m the exact same.

I’ve got 4 bridesmaids, 3 of which I’d never expect them to ask me because although they are my best friends they have closer ‘best’ friends than me. The other one is family.

I worked quite hard for a few years after uni and somehow let friendships dwindle, they are still friends just not best friends.

Sucks when it takes a wedding to point this out.

xx

Post # 8
Member
404 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’m lacking in the friend department too! But I think I have less than you, so you shouldn’t feel bad. Lol.

I have my one BFF that I met in college, a co-worker turned into friend, and that’s IT! I do have a sis-in-law and sister, but they don’t count. lol. Almost everyone at my shower were my Mom’s friends who I barely know or hadn’t even met before. Awkward! 

I had 1 childhood friend fly in for the wedding, which was super sweet of her. So I had a grand total of 3 actual friends at my wedding who were not related to me, haha.

So just think, it could be worse! πŸ™‚

Post # 9
Member
668 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’m sorry πŸ™ *hugs* I’ll be your friend!

I have the same issue, I’ll meet people, we get along, then never talk again.  But at least you do have your maid of honor! I don’t have a single friend, except my bf, so it’s difficult cause there’s no one to talk cute wedding things with except for the bees, whom I love :).

Look on the bright side, no drama! πŸ˜€

Post # 10
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

You are definitely not alone.  I work a lot, starting up 2 businesses at the same time are a lot of work!!  So, I usually only see my coworkers and my husband during the week and that’s it.  We try to hang out with friends on the weekends, but sometimes house stuff gets in the way and we can’t.  However, we do have a core group of friends that we see at least once a month, and no matter how much time passes, we know that we’ll always be friends. I have seriously been friends with these people for more than half my life, and its awesome to know that we are always there for each other, even when life gets in the way. But, most are guys. I can count on 1 hand the amount of women I can trust enough to keep in my life no matter what – my sister, SIL, Mom, Mother-In-Law, and my 2 BFFs. Well, that’s 6…

Post # 11
Member
5984 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1999

@Mrs Hedgehog:  Awwww…Hugs!  I can empathize with you because I don’t have a ton of close friends either (although my hubby will beg to differ).  Most of my friends/aquaintances are from work (I am a therapist in the schools).  I do go out with a few of them from time to time, but don’t hang out with them a lot socially.  Many of my friends/aquaintances have their own families and it’s hard to find time to get together.  Plus, three of the five girls that were my BM’s live out of town, so that makes things more challenging.  I think I’m pretty likable, but I’ve held back a bit in terms of building deeper relationships with some aquaintances because I had so many close friends move away when I was younger.  The “walls” have come down a bit, but this happened post-college which makes it harder to find new friends to hang out with.  I hope this makes sense.

P.S. I think you seem quite likable yourself!  Wink

P.S.S. We all need to remember to focus on the QUALITY of our friendships and not the QUANTITY! 

 

Post # 12
Member
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I am in the same boat! Crazy how that happens. I think it just gets so hard to stay in touch with people. Friendships take a lot of work and it is really tough to keep up with everyone. After high school and college I felt like I was the one who did a lot of the reaching out to old friends and they never reciprocated. I got sick of the only one trying. I do have one best friend and she lives an hour away now. She is in my bridal party though with my two sisters and one SIL. I invited some of my college and childhood friends. I think maybe three are coming. LOL. I was even shocked about that!

So yeah…I totally get it! Hang in there πŸ™‚

Post # 15
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

@Mrs Hedgehog: Totally agree, I so want a HIMYM or Friends type of group, but seems like you can only get that when you live in NYC! πŸ˜‰

Oh, and By The Way, I am going to be in DFW for a conference the end of April, and would love some recommendations on food there. Any good sushi places? HUbs and I are open to all kinds of cuisine, but LOVE sushi.  We are staying at the Marriott DFW Airport North in Irving if that helps. Thanks so much!

Post # 15
Member
3943 posts
Honey bee

I can totally relate.

I used to be a social butterfly in college and right after. I had plans ALL the time and my friends would joke about needing to schedule me weeks in advance. But for a few years I was working longggg hours at a horrible job and really lost touch with most people. I have one high school friend that I still talk to a lot, but we live almost 2 hours away frome eachother so dont hang out much. And I have a few friends from college that I occasionally talk to, and see them every few months. But thats about it πŸ™

It gets so hard as we get older-everyone now is either getting married, buying houses, or still living the single life and going out every week. I can only imagine it will get harder to keep in touch when everyone starts having kids.

It sucks πŸ™

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