Post # 1
Hello all! I’m new here, and having a bit of a “freak out” moment.
A little background:
My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 and a half years, and have lived together for 5 years. We’re leaving for Cancun on Saturday. This is our first “real” vacation together.
A few months ago, we started talking about marriage, and he asked what kind of rings I like. I have to wear it, after all.
So, on Friday, when checking the mail, I found a credit card statement from an account I have no knowledge of. Not thinking anything of it (and recently having some attempted fraud issues), I opened it to make sure it was nothing to worry about.
sigh I think you can see where this is going.
It had one purchase on it, from a jewelry store. Specifically, the store that I showed him when discussing engagement rings.
I have ruined my own surprise.
I haven’t told him about this yet. Frankly, I don’t know if I should. I can’t call my friends for advice because I don’t want to ruin the “surprise” when, you know, he actually asks me. What do I do? Do I pretend I never saw it and wait for Cancun to come along? Do I tell him AFTER he proposes that I found it? Do I tell him now? HELP!
Post # 3
If it’s eating you up, tell him. But if you can put a lid on it, no matter what it’s still going to be an AWESOME surprise when he does propose. You don’t know what he has planned, who knows it may not even HAPPEN in Cancun, but even if it is in Cancun (that would make a lot of sense), you don’t know when/where/anything about what he’s got up his sleeve. You’ll still be in just as much suspense as the rest of us poor, veiled folk every time we go somewhere out of the ordinary with our SO’s.
Post # 4
At this point I think it’s more anxiety than anything else.
We went out to dinner last night, and I nearly exploded. Today, we went for a nice walk in the forest preserves, and every time he reached into his pocket for his phone, sunglasses, etc… my heart jumped.
Part of me doesn’t think I should say anything until after, because he isn’t romantic. At all. If this is his one shining, romantic moment, I don’t want to take that away. Plus, I sort of want to see what he has up his sleeve. Also, what if it’s a necklace or something, and I say something, and look like a fool?
Post # 5
Try to keep it a secret if you can! It will be really cute since he’s not a romantic. 🙂
Post # 6
@KamJams: Exactly! Try to keep it on the DL if you can. Carry a flask with you if you need to (jk). Let it be is my advice. Try not to get involved in too many romantic things til you get to Cancun… then at least your “this time? this time? this time?” anxiety will be somewhat justified.
Post # 7
I think I’ll need more than a flask. You think he’ll suspect something if I walk around with a handle? 🙂
He has an amazing sense of humor, so I’m sure If I fess up the next day that I knew it was coming, just not when, it’ll be fine.
I’m going to lose it if he gets his bags searched at the airport.
Post # 8
- Wedding: June 2015 - Backyard
“Also, what if it’s a necklace or something, and I say something, and look like a fool?”
Even though you know it’s probably the ring and he probably is going to propose on the trip, just pretend it’s only a necklace / other piece of jewelry and don’t say anything! At least until after it happens. He probably has some super romantic Cancun proposal all planned out and you don’t want to ruin it by telling him and having him postpone / change his plans. Let him have his moment! Then after he does it you could be like “oh I saw this credit card statement, I figured it was just a nice piece of jewelry and had no idea you actually were going to propose! What a great surprise!” hehehe. Either way I’m jealous of your vacation! That sounds lovely. 🙂
Post # 9
If i were u, I will put away the bill, pretend I didnt see it. 🙂
Well, you still don’t know when exactly during the trip he’ll propose but when that happens, I’m sure it will still be a huge surprise for u no less. Don’t think so much now..just pack your prettiest clothing for your trip and savor the moment when it comes! 😀
Post # 10
I had a similar thing happen to me, he works away so I always open his mail and one day a opened a receipt from a jewellery store I ruined the supprise:(
I let you know what I did I freak out hid the recept in a cooking book cause I knew he would never find it there (lol), called my best friend and cried to her to 2 hours (Mum was away), then I didn’t say anything I knew if I said something I would have to wait longer. We were a few weeks away from our first overseas holiday and I had a strong feeling he would do it then. I was right he proposed in beautiful Thailand on the beach after a amazing dinner 🙂 My biggest mistake was telling him straight after the proposal that I found the receipt he was so heart broken he went to such a effort to keep it a secret and was a little sookie for the next few days not at me but at the jewellery shop cause he told them nothing was to be posted.
Long story short the proposal is special to him too and if you want that majical romantic proposal story don’t say anything 🙂 It will be a very hard wait but well worth it (and you may find your self consultally looking for little ring size blogges in his pockets). But still tell him after maybe just not straight after like I did.
Post # 11
@KamJams: dont tell him after a few years then you can own up to it but dont tell him now dont ruin it for him and you.
Post # 12
Did he not notice that you opened his mail? If you opened it in an obvious way, (I usually just rip open the top) then he’s probably going to ask you. If he does, I would own up to it. But, you really only know that he bought the ring and no other details so I wouldn’t worry about it
Post # 13
@KamJams: My Fiance had the ring shipped to our house and I signed for the package while he was gone. He told me it was something else but I had a pretty good idea it was my ring–and I had NO idea prior to seeing the package that he was planning to propose, so at first I also felt like I ruined my own surprise. We also had a vacation planned, so I was pretty sure it would happen on vacation.
I didn’t say anything to him about the fact I thought it was a ring; I figured that if he was trying to keep it a secret, I would honor that (not his fault I notice everything! lol). And actually, while he did propose on vacation, he did surprise me. As in, I literally jumped when he started to propose, I was so startled. And I have no regrets about the proposal, nor do I feel it would have been better if I didn’t suspect it would be coming.
So even if you “know” it’s coming, you don’t know when or where–just focus on being in the moment with him and enjoying whatever you are doing, and you might still be surprised!
Post # 14
@KamJams: I agree with turtles73. It’ll only make him feel a little dissapointed if you tell him afterwards that you actually knew he had the ring. Especially if he never does anything romantic, and this is the one thing he is gonna do right…dont spoil it for him (and yourself) by spilling the beans about knowing all along. Its just as special to him as to you…so play along, act normal, DONT THINK ABOUT IT TOO MUCH, enjoy the time…and when it happens its gonna be amazing. Personally, if I were in your shoes: I would only tell my SO in a looooong while after. Neither him, nor you will gain anything by telling him that you knew all along =) **exciting times** goodluck!!
Post # 15
I agree with all the PPs. Don’t say anything to burst his little bubble 🙂 He’s probably so proud of himself, just let it be and revel in the excitement! And don’t worry, even though you “know” it’s still going to be special. I knew my Fiance was going to propose and the anticipation nearly killed me, but it was totally everything I thought it would be. Just enjoy it! I’d probably tell him once home from vaca (you don’t want to ruin the romance!), but that’s just me, I’m terrible at keeping secrets! I’m sure you can think of a delicate way to put it 🙂
Post # 16
Ugh.. I accidentally saw a bank statement online (we have joint accounts) when he had put a deposit on a ring. I never looked at the account again so I didn’t see when/if he made the final payment and picked it up. Luckily he proposed a couple of months after, and in such a surprising fashion I had no idea it was coming but to this day I’ve never (and I will never) tell him I kind of knew. We had shopped together a bit to get ideas so I think he really hoped I would have no idea about it since I had been so involved early on.
Good thing is, the ONLY person I told (not even mom or sister) was a coworker of mine who he will likely never meet or talk to him (I work in a different city and I’m not friends with her outside of work).
I would just not say anything, especially not until a little bit after the proposal if you do want to reveal it. He will probably eventually ask about the bill. Unless you destroy it and suggest perhaps it was lost in the mail and if he has concerns he can call the bank to get a reprinted statement sent out.