(Closed) Changing my name & “daddy” issues

posted 6 years ago in Traditions
Post # 3
Member
263 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I think wanting to take your FI’s name to celebrate your marrige, love and commitment is the perfect reason to drop your family name. I will be dropping my family name as well. I have my mother’s maiden name and was raised by my maternal grandmother. I see switching my name as a way to honor the love of my life and my soulmate. I say go for it and do what makes you happy.

Post # 4
Member
258 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I kept my last name, and while I realize my name came from my dad, it’s my name now. I’ve been using it for my entire life. I identify with it. Plus, it sounds better with my first name. Why would I change it? 

Post # 6
Member
728 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I have no relationship with my dad anymore and have always assumed I would take FI’s last name… last week I was actually thinking about it and it kind of freaked me out! Definitely not a fan of my father or his family but its still MY last name. 

I know what its like not have have same last name as parents (Mom- Last name A, StepDad- Last name B, Sister and I- Last name C) …. even when I was doing invites I had put my parents  names(Mom and StepDad) and the person working with me on invites suggested (Mr and Mrs LastName C)…. UGGG sorry we all have different last names LOL 

SOOOO I know I definitely want my whole family to have the same last name. I actually wants to rearrange my last name to make the name Nohlan for our first boy (when/if)… I know its a little different spelling but makes me feel special and that my last name will stay alive haha 

 

Post # 7
Member
6 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2006

I kept my maiden name and I get crap for it but I could care less. I feel that changing your name to your SO’s is an archaic tradition which only serves to (as usual) undermine women and keep them subservient to their men. screw that. No offense to my hubby but his last name sounds REALLY odd with my 1st name and plus admittedly I am a daddy’s girl and I just can’t see parting with it. I would feel like part of my identity is gone.

why should we change it??? regardless of whether you even know your Dad think about this—would our husband’s or potential husband’s part with their last names? hell no. so why should we?

It’s proprietary and a nonsensical societal pressure which makes women crack and change it or “hyphenate it” which is also ridiculous.

 

Post # 8
Member
6 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2006

@VegasSukie:  “honor the love of your life”

question: Why can the men we marry not “honor us”???? why is it the woman who has tot ake the man’s last name?

after all, it is 2012..

Post # 9
Member
227 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’m glad I changed my last name when I married, not because of daddy issues (daddy’s girl right here) but because my maiden was strunk and everyone called me skunk for the longest time. highly annoying. my husband actually told me that he would change his last name to include mine. i told him that was silly and i didnt mind parting with the maiden name. i still get called strunk by tons of people.

Post # 10
Member
6 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2006

@ticklemepink:  yea, that’s pretty understandable. I suppose there could be reasons like that. good point. I’m not crazy about my maiden name though don’t get me wrong by my husband is 100% Irish (I am not Irish in the least lol) and his last name sounds soooooo strange with my 1st name and I’m not doing the whole hyphenated thing so I suggested to him that we both change our last names to something totally different

needless to say, I doubt he will change his ;p

Post # 12
Member
6 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2006

@VegasSukie:  I get that. have you considered taking your mother’s maiden name or has it beden sorted out already?

 

btw- what did you mean women’s lib in 2012?

Post # 13
Member
2616 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

i took firsy husband’s last name. never changed it back to maiden. now that i have three kids with ex .currently we have the same name but when i get married in june im dropping my middle name. moving current last name into middle position and then adding future hubbys name as last name. im kinda sad to be droping my middle name(its my mom’s maiden name) also it just flows since first name ends with a y and middle name starts with y.

Post # 14
Member
1052 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I also have a “sperm donor” father. A total wacko who has done serious damage to my family and I should have been ready to run away from his last name as fast as I could. However, as much as it was his name, it was also MY name and I had a harder time then I ever thought I would changing it. I knew I wanted to cut ties with it, but I didn’t want to “lose” myself. Even at the courthouse when I was filling out my marriage license I sat there for an hour and went back and forth.

I ultimately decided to change it and felt kind of mixed about it up until the wedding. However, once the wedding was over, literally as we got back to our hotel room, it was like a Giant weight lifted off my shoulders. I changed my name on facebook (lol) and it was like years of baggage fell away and I knew I had made the right decision. I was never one of those people who practiced my signiture or said Mrs. Soandso but I slipped into the new name naturally and it was like it had always been my name.

Post # 15
Member
85 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

My mom hyphenated her name because when she got married she was on the radio and she thought it would be odd to change her name. She since got a different job, but she still uses just her maiden name at work. I think it has worked really well for her to by hyphenated because she just uses whichever one she feels like using, whichever is easier in the situation.

It’s been a little odd for me because I just have my dad’s last name and I went into the same career field as my mom so people don’t often realize we’re related even though they know us both, or I show up to something with a nametag with my first name and her maiden name.

Anyway, I think I will hyphenate too when I marry my fiance. It’s just so versatile, and then I don’t feel like I’m giving anything up. I think my fiance would be happeir if I just did it “normal”, but it’s my name, so I think it’s my decision.

Post # 16
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@VegasSukie:  Our situations are so similar and I haven’t decided what to do yet. Sometimes I think my family sucks and I should start fresh. Other times I have an identity crisis. I also don’t like the tradition. I’m really struggling with it too.

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