(Closed) So…. I think we cancelled…(long)

posted 11 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1011 posts
Bumble bee

Why not wait until you get the house and have a big party to celebrate both.  You could renew your wows then.  Sure, your girls might be older, but you’ll have so much more to celebrate.  

Post # 4
952 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I agree, I think a wedding would be a wonderful way to celebrate both the purchase of a house you both love and your commitment to each other. No, it won’t be the same as a big wedding, but that’s not to say it won’t be wonderful just the same.

Post # 5
594 posts
Busy bee

I agree with iswimibikeirun. Celbrate with the house

Post # 6
303 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

Oh, I am so sorry. You get seriously HUGE hive hugs. For a great house like that, I would have made the same decision- a house lasts much longer than a single day, practically speaking. But I and every other bee on here can commiserate- giving up that one sparkling day when you feel on top of the world with the dress and the flowers and the lovely centerpieces and the beautiful cake and pictures…that’s a serious sacrifice. You are SUCH a great mom and wife to do that! I agree with iswimibikeirun, though- you could wait until the house thing settles down and save for a wedding. I know that would definitely put a damper on your plans…but it’s still an option. My Fiance and I have considered putting the wedding off until we can afford something more elaborate, but ultimately, it comes down to what you and your SO want together.

The best of luck to you, my dear!

Post # 7
2324 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2020

I agree with PP about having a party at the new house when y’all move. Think about how special it will be to have those memories at your own house.

I totally know what you mean by wanting the big wedding and not really being able to shake it. I was married 6 years ago and we’re renewing our vows on Oct 2010. I’m giving up a lot between now and then but it’s been my dream since we eloped. Things got in the way of doing it earlier {her name is Lillie and she’s 5!}, but we’re finally going to do it and I couldn’t be happier. But I waited until the time was right and it wasn’t going to drain all of our time and resources, so why not do that in a couple of years, if you really want the big wedding?


Good Luck!!

Post # 8
428 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009 - Church Ceremony/Reception at The Waterford House

I agree wit iswimibikeirun too.  Would you mind putting the wedding off a little while until you get the house of your dreams?  You deserve both! 

Post # 9
110 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Wow, I can see that this is SO hard for you. It sounds like you have definitely earned this wedding from all of your blood, sweat and tears over the years.
I don’t have much advice because I can’t imagine giving up the wedding (actually, I can…we’ve nearly had to do the same…). The house thing seems almost too perfect to pass up though. When I first started planning this wedding I went super bridezilla on the world and stopped caring about anything BUT the wedding (I’ve reined in my inner beast since then). Things have changed for me in the past few months though, it’s not about the gorgeous dress or all of the adoring eyes -it’s about the marriage.
You sound like an incredible woman and a terrific mom. I’m sure that you will make the right choice.
Imagine getting your dream house and being able to throw a super kick ass amazing house warming/wedding gala in it three months after moving in. That would sort of be the best of both worlds I think.
It doesn’t have to be big, it just has to be real.
Just remember this, when things feel super sucky -to your kids and your husband you are ALWAYS the prettiest girl in the room.

Post # 10
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I’m going to get on the bandwagon too and say have a vow renewal/new home party. What a meaningful way to show your family and friends your commitment in joining your families at a home that new to all of you.

Post # 12
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Your not being a baby. It’s ok to want a wedding! Don’t beat yourself up over this.

And just think, how much fun would it be to invite everyone for a housewarming party and then surprise them with a vow renewal?

Post # 13
495 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

It’s really okay to feel as you do, Miss Starlet.  It’s a letdown, and you can feel sad about it!  I think you are making the right decision though as hard as it is.  A wedding is only one day but your dream house can last a loooong time!  I definitely understand being nervous about getting neither, but I think if you do it right you might be able to do both, just slightly postponed is all, like pp said.  I think you could have a lovely vow renewal in your dream house! 🙂

Post # 14
250 posts
Helper bee

okay, a message from a mom/teacher

You have an incredible head on your shoulders, and you have sacrificed for sure.   Put offer in on the house with contingency to sell yours in 90 days or the contract is void.  That way you have a “time frame” to work in.   Get your house ready to go and make it sell with the extras that you know will work.


Then when the holidays come all that decoration of your new home will be a wonderful wedding backdrop for close friends and family~ no plans go wasted, just changed.  You can get your daughters beautiful dresses by shopping now at sales…. the children’s store/online Strasburg.com has wonderful ones.   Get motivitated and do it.


You have allowed yourself to “grieve” a little and now read one of my favorite inspirational poems.  It will be meaningful to you I’m sure.

Best of luck changing your plans and moving forward.  Can’t wait to hear the “change of plans and the excitement ahead” from you!


Welcome to Holland

c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability – to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It’s like this……

When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip – to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, “Welcome to Holland.”

“Holland?!?” you say. “What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I’m supposed to be in Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.”

But there’s been a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It’s just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It’s just a different place. It’s slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around…. and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills….and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy… and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned.”

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away… because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But… if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things … about Holland.

Post # 16
250 posts
Helper bee

Sounds like you have a great man, a great family and you are a great person….


Happy Planning the new trip!!!! I know you will enjoy the ride especially the results of it all in the end and that is the BIG IDEA anyway.

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