(Closed) So, I’m married, but…

posted 9 years ago in Married Life
Post # 17
Member
2095 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

For me it was real as I was sitting in Social Security changing it legally. When I received that little card in the mail and saw my new name on legal paperwork it was a real eye opener. I spent 32 years with one name. I think the older we are the harder it can be to get used to it…lol.

Post # 18
Member
2432 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’ll say it took 6-9 months for my new last name to really seem like my name, lol. It seemed so weird getting used to signing something new!

Post # 19
Member
753 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

The wedding felt very surreal to me too. I think it’s makes sense that  when you want something so bad, plan it for so long, and dream about it forever, that when the day actually comes it’s hard for it to feel “real”. I didn’t get an “OMG this is happening” moment either. What did make it feel real to me were subtle things like seeing my husband who never wears jewelry wear his wedding band out, and signing my new last name. The video also helped.

Post # 20
Member
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

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@jo.lee: I think living together before has a LOT to do with it! We did and nothing really changed. We just had a BIG PARTY is what it felt like!!

And now almost a month later it still hasn’t really HIT me!

FEELS great to see we are NOT alone!! 🙂

Post # 21
Member
141 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010 - Angel Orensanz Foundation

We’ve been married one year now but together for 6 and it really doesn’t feel real to this day!!!   

Sometimes my family (and even hubby himself) will refer to him as my boyfriend or me as his girlfriend.  I corrected my godmother once and she said “Listen, ‘wife’ is a 4 letter word to most men. I see how he looks at you, like he just met you and he’s still trying to win you. Just take it and run with it.”

 

I’ll take it.  Smile

Post # 22
Member
3979 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I am having the same problem! We got married almost 3 months ago and it still feels like it always has. Then again, we have been living together for a few years. My name is changed, our puppy is here, he is my husband and…. it doesn’t feel any different for me. It feels different for him and I am so jealous!

Post # 23
Member
2095 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

DH and I regularly call each other husband and wife, ok so it has been less than 2 weeks. I know corny as all get out but if you knew our history…. Maybe try that instead… that might help. Of course if you aren’t the lovey dovey type then your husband will just look at you like you have 2 heads…lol

Post # 24
Member
3979 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

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@Luckygir15: Hey! We got married the same weekend! And I 100% understand what you are saying. A month after the wedding I told somebody we had been married for 3 months… and then it hit me it had only been 1! It feels like it was forever ago but I still feel like it’s the same old “us”. I do get excited when I hear him call me his wife though..

Post # 25
Member
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

My HUSBAND (LAWD I rarely say that lol) calls me his wife all the time. And I promise ever time he says it feels foreign!! I almost want to correct him??? It’s soooo surreal and still hasn’t really hit me! SMH lol

Post # 26
Member
6995 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

sometimes it still doesnt feel real to me haha but everyday is better than the last.  I’ve been married 7 months and just today on my lunch break i was driving home for a quick bite and i was thinking Mrs. XXXXX i cant believe thats really my last name now. haha

Post # 28
Member
5109 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

Hmm it will hit you eventually!! I think its because we hear so often that marriage will change everything, but for me I think I am going to feel like you! We have already lived together for years we have a son, we have combined finances. What will be different really? Im thinking that my name change will be the only thing, and on that note maybe thats waht you need to do to make things feel more real for you! The name may not feel like you yet.. but I think thats something you have to grow into and make yours. 

Post # 29
Hostess
11050 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

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@pohget: Your home looks amazing, wow. I think it didn’t seem real because it all went so fast. I had post wedding planning blues for a while, I even stopped coming on here as much. It will happen, the thing for me was after changing my name with my bank getting my first post from them with my new name on, it still makes me smile now.

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