(Closed) So I’m pretty sure I screwed up the invitations….

posted 6 years ago in Paper
Post # 3
1252 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

You’ll know who they are RSVP’ing for based on the names they write in, you are fine!

Post # 4
11355 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

Are you planning to use inner envelopes? If not, is it too late to add them? Addressing inner envelopes specifically to those who are being invited really helps to alleviate this issue. I used them, and I did not have anyone attempt to bring someone who was not invited.

Post # 6
1844 posts
Buzzing bee

Maybe this is becuase I have been RSVPing to quite a few weddings lately, but if I saw “________ will be attending” I would probably just write a number in there. Your guests might just do that. 

If it only affects 10 people you could just tell them or just write a # sign really pretty next to the ___ so they get the hint. 

Post # 8
11355 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

@sara_tiara:  LOL.  Don’t worry. It’s definitely not you.  You probably have not heard of inner envelopes, because so many people these days seem to think they’re wasteful or expendable.  However, most etiquette experts continue to extoll the virtues of inner envelopes, and I totally agree with them. I will readily admit to being in the minority on this issue in the hive, however. 🙂

The inner envelope encloses the invitation suite and is then inserted into the outer envelope, with the front of the inner envelope facing the recipient when he or she opens the outer envelope.  Its primary purpose is to make very clear to the recipient of the invitation exactly WHO is being invited.

Example 1:  You are inviting Mr. John Smith by himself, with no guest. (Note: if you were allowing Mr. Smith to bring a guest, the best approach is to contact him in advance and ask him the name and address of the guest he would like to bring. You would then send that person her own invitation, in her own name, to her own address.  In this example, however, you are only inviting Mr. Smith. His outer envelope would read:  Mr. John Smith (use his middle name — but not initial — if you want to be formal.)  His inner envelope would read:  Mr. Smith.

Example 2:  You decide you are allowing Mr. Smith to bring a guest.  If you decide to use the less formal method for inviting her, it is acceptable on his inner envelope to write:  Mr. Smith and Guest.  (However, the method described in Example 1 is preferred.) By the way, in Example 2, Mr. Smith’s outer envelope remains the same as in Example 1. Only the inner envelope changes.

Example 3:  You are inviting John and Jane Doe, but you are not inviting their three children. (Let’s assume for this example that Jane changed her name when she married John.  The link I am providing for you, below, will describe what to do if she did not.) Their outer envelope would read:  Mr. and Mrs. John Doe.  Their inner envelope would read: Mr. and Mrs. Doe. 

Example 4:  Let’s say you decide to invite John and Jane’s 15-year-old daughter, Jillian, but not their two younger children.  Their outer envelope would read the same as noted in Example 3 (since the names of chlidren should not be shown on the outer envelope). However, the inner envelope would read:  Mr. and Mrs. Doe, on the first line, and then Miss Jillian Doe on the second line. (Note: In all of these cases, you would not repeat the first names of the adults on the inner envelopes — just their honorifics and last names. However, you do list the first and last names of any children being invited. My wedding was very formal, so I used the children’s full names, including their middle names.)

I know all of this must seem VERY stuffy and as if it is a lot of work (and it IS a lot of work tracking down all of the names.) However, it really helps to prevent people from thinking that they can somehow bring two extra children or a date to your wedding when you have not invited them to do so. I invited over 200 guests, 150 of which accepted, and no one tried to sneak in an uninvited guest.

You may find the link below to be helpful.


Post # 9
7902 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

I didn’t put an __ of __ attending, and not one single guest messed it up or invited someone we didn’t name on the envelope. We had one guy not put any name at all, but he did put his check mark next to his dinner selection and I had numbered the backs so I know whose it was. If anyone RSVPs for more than him/herself, you just call them and tell them that they cannot invite a guest.

Post # 10
1433 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012 - Historic Lougheed House

@Brielle:  I’m in the formal camp too.  LOVE your advice! 


@sara_tiara:  I’m using an inner envelope, but I also calligraphied the names of the individuals on the M___________ line of the RSVP card.  I also have “We have reserved one seat in your honor”, and I am doing one RSVP card PER PERSON, not per invitation (also have a meal choice on card). I think this may help deter people taking a blue BIC and adding “and guest” beside it. 

Could you write their names on the RSVP card?  Where did you do your invites?  Is it possible to design a similar RSVP card with the “1 seat” deal, using a cheaper option like vistaprint, just for these 10 individuals?

Post # 11
2815 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I had ___ of ___ on my RSVP cards AND the names on the outer envelopes and we still had people trying to add other people.  I’d do what Eagle is doing, send one RSVP for each person or just email them after they send back their card asking how many people they were RSVPing for.  

Post # 12
11355 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

@eagle:  Thank you! 🙂

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