(Closed) SO insisting on a diamond E Ring

posted 6 years ago in Rings
Post # 2
3383 posts
Sugar bee

View original reply
ellecherie:  As a compromise, would you both consider a sapphire ring with a diamond halo or diamond side stones? 

Post # 3
275 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

You’re the one who has to wear it, not him! Why don’t you have a look at gemstone rings with diamond accents? I’ve got a gorgeous tsavorite garnet with 8 diamonds in the shank on each side. We had it custom made in Hatton Garden (London). Or you could get a sapphire trilogy ring with a diamond on each side.

You could also get a diamond centre stone with sapphire accents if you wanted.

Fiance didn’t care what my ring looked like, as long as I liked it and it wasn’t hideous enough in his eyes for him to not want to have to own up to buying  he hated rose gold so we went with white gold as a compromise as we wanted matching wedding rings.

Post # 4
3645 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

I second PP’s suggestion. Maybe you can have a diamond or sapphire engagement ring (whichever you guys decide in) and then use the opposite stone of choice in the wedding band as a compromise as well.

Post # 5
8602 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

I would do sapphire and diamond ring. 1) they re gorgeous and 2) I think his opinion should count too. The ring reflects on him as well (which is dumb, but true). 

Post # 6
3936 posts
Honey bee


I was keen on alternative gemstones to diamonds for my e-ring. My groom was like yours in that he insisted on diamonds. I honored his wishes. When we upgraded a couple years later, he pointed out the rubies with diamonds one due to the good wife > rubies Bible verse.

So I have my gemstones now.



Post # 7
6 posts

I really like the antique and art deco style rings myself. I don’t think the weddng ring needs to have diamonds – sapphires are beautiful too. I think for guys it is an ego thing or maybe they like to keep it traditional. Maybe you could compromise on picking something that has a sapphires and maybe few small diamonds to keep the budget lower? 🙂


Post # 8
28 posts

What about a white sapphire? That way it looks lIke what he pictured (if that’s the case) but you still get your sapphire!

Post # 9
1488 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Cape May

My SO was set on purchasing a diamond when we went looking too. I tried to suggest Moissy or Sapphire instead but his feelings were ” we have the rest of our lives to buy all the other pretty stones so I want to do this right the first time”. I think guys (especially mine) really this sense of tradition to follow. His mom had a traditional diamond ering and he wanted to be super traditional about it. ( he did let me pick the setting though so it was fair). If it’s really important to you then definitely let him know that are not all about the diamond.

Post # 10
876 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

I don’t agree with bees that say the guy shouldn’t have an opinion on the e ring, or that if he does it doesn’t count, so I’m glad you are taking he’s feelings into consideration. Great way to start your lives together!

I agree with PPs, to do a sapphire and diamond ring. Have you gone to shop yet?  I bet when he sees them in the store he’ll warm to them. A sapphire center with diamond halo would be beautiful!

Post # 11
2134 posts
Buzzing bee

Omg! I could have written thus last year! I was really worried about cost and I always said we could upgrade to a diamond later if we want. I’m fine with a white sapphire and he just couldn’t grasp not getting a diamond. He was like it’s called a diamond engagement ring. He was also very worried abut what people thought. He was like well whay are you going to do if someone asks you if it’s a diamond or not, what would you say. Etc etc. His brother was also shopping for rings at the same time. So idk if it was a weird brother rival thing and he would feel weird if he got me something else while his brother got a diamond. Idk  I also think men honestly don’t know that there are other options for engagement rings. I think that’s just what they think they are supposed to do is get a diamond ring and that’s that. Lol

Good luck bee! And congrats!

Post # 12
320 posts
Helper bee

Sounds like your man is super traditional,  I think it’s sweet.  Also,  guys aren’t on rings boards and pinterest like a lot of us are.  He probably had not even considered options other than a diamond for an engagement before you suggested it. Just go shopping together,  keep an open mind and ask him to do the same.  Enjoy it,  it’s such a special time in your relationship.  Maybe you both can come to a compromise after trying different styles on. 

Post # 13
3058 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

View original reply
ellecherie:  Oh blue sapphires are beautiful. Add some diamonds to the setting and call it even. Point out the royals rings and he may be more amenable. Lol

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 11 months ago by mrstodd2bee.
Post # 14
513 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

View original reply
ellecherie:  Does he feel like sapphires are lower in quality or not as special somehow? You could point him toward the Pricescope colored stone forums. You’ll find a ton of people there who are experts in colored stones, and he’ll see how special and valuable sapphires are. You can easily spend a more  on a high quality colored gemstone (especially ruby, or sapphires from certain regions or with certain colors) than on a comparably sized diamond. Not saying you have to, you can obviously also save money choosing a sapphire. I’m just trying to say that colored gemstone doesn’t necessarily mean cheaper.

Perhaps a good compromise would be a middle ground–propose going with a sapphire, but a very high quality one. That way it seems less like he’s “skimping,” and more like he’s getting you what you want, but you can still set a budget that’s less than a similarly sized diamond. He can look into professional precision lapidists and source the stone himself, which I think is very romantic. Picking a sapphire is a lot more intimate, to me, than picking a diamond, because there are so many colors and ideal color is such a personal decision. Maybe he’s afraid of being judged when people ask about the ring, but by going this route, he can talk about all the particulars on the gem’s high quality and how he went about picking it.

My SO and I went with a Montana sapphire and I absolutely love it. It feels very special and romantic because we thought about what we really wanted, and took months to find the right stone. We got lucky and the stone was also such a great deal for its quality!

I also like the compromises above about going with diamond sidestones.

Post # 15
95 posts
Worker bee

I seriously don’t care that much about ring quality, but Fiance went all out. He’s known that I wanted a sapphire for a long time now, so that’s what I got. But back in the day when we talked about diamonds, he wasn’t keen on the idea of moissanite even though I think it’s so much better because of the price. I was sending him etsy rings under 2k because I thought he wanted to keep it cheaper, but he ended up getting me a 1.4 carat highest quality sapphire in a platinum diamond halo setting. It was important for him to get me something quality even though it wasn’t that important to me. 

If you’re interested in a high quality sapphire, check out the Natural Sapphire Company. That’s where my ring is from, and Fiance got a great deal (paid 4k, appraised at 5.7k). The sapphire is flawless and untreated which is very rare apparently, and the gem itself was ~2.5k which is WAY less than a 1.4 carat diamond. 

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