Post # 1
So one of my best friends is getting married 6 weeks after me, and let me tell, you there have been a number of unnecessary issues already, but for now, let me just share the recent one.. Ugh…Just some background, I’ve known my friend since I was 2; we’re both each others’ bridesmaids and both planning each others’ bachelorette parties. Now, she’s been there for me in hard times, but she can also be bit of a princess and “me-centered” as my FI describes her.
I’ve had my bachelorette party set for July 11th (the Sat before my wedding) for months now–since December…I was hesitant enough to have it the wkend before my wedding, but it was literally the only wkend that worked out with everyone that was important to me to come…So I thought if it’s low-key and with these good friends, it’d be worth it to celebrate.
So my friend’s bachelorette party was supposed to be August 14th. I already sent an e-vite out to all her friends as a save the date a few months ago, started making tentative plans etc…But then yesterday, out of the BLUE, she calls me up and tells me Aug 14th is just not going to work for her party anymore because now her fiance’s family friend is having a wedding that wkend and they just got invited and must go to. And apparently, I’m “hogging every wkend in July” because of my wedding/honeymoon/bachelorette party, so the only other night that works for her party is to be the night before my bachelorette party (July 10)…REALLY? Of all weekends this entire summer?? Her wedding is not until Labor Day wkend! She has all of August! And get this…she doesn’t want to have her party too close to her wedding cuz she has too much to do…yup…Doesn’t give a crap that hers is not only going to be the night before my bachelorette party, but also the wkend before my wedding. It’s all about her.
So I don’t know what to do. Cancel mine (since I have so much going on that wkend already)? Not go to hers? Not plan hers? I know I can just roll with the punches and go to both parties (and plan hers)…But I don’t want to be walked on like this. Like I said earlier, there’s been other drama like this with just our weddings alone being close together. I feel like some of this is like out of Bride Wars or some campy LMN wedding movie or something… I hate drama! What would you girls do?
Post # 3
how important is the bachelorette party to you? are the same circle of friends involved? have you discussed throwing a joint-bachelorette party?
Post # 4
Yikes! That sounds like no fun. Have you asked her about August? Explained your situation? This might be one of those situations where you just have to say no and hope for the best!
I do like mudratdectector’s idea of a joint-bachelorette party, if that is something you both would be open to. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this so close to your wedding…. I hate drama too!
Post # 5
A joint bachelorette sounds like fun! I would go with that idea.
Post # 6
I actually did bring up the idea of having a double bachelorette party last night when we were talking, but she was STRONGLY against that one. She said she wants it to be “her night, where everyone celebrates just her”.Let me just say, she’s never been one for sharing (goes back to when we were toddlers! haha) We also do have completely separate circles of friends. But still, I would have been perfectly fine with just one night of fun.
But yeah, it is important for me to have a bachelorette party. I don’t want something crazy, but a night to remember with my good friends–it’s only something you get to have once in your life, you know?
Post # 7
I don’t know how involved she wants her bachelorette to be, but it does seem challenging for you to be relaxing and celebrating at your own bachelorette AND winding down and finishing everything up for your wedding AND planning and participating in her party. I’m not sure how you can get out of it, but maybe just have an honest conversation with her about how challenging that would be for you – and if she does have it on the night before your party, maybe you end up delegating a lot of the responsibilities to the bridesmaids.
Do you guys have a lot of overlap in friends – would there be mostly the same guests at both nights?
Post # 8
There is actually no overlap in friends. Just the 2 of us. I think I will have to have a talk with her again…after I cool down from it. I tried to bring up all of those points yesterday when she first told me, but she didn’t care. She kept saying how I’m hogging all the wkends that are good for her.
I know if the situation were reversed, she’d flip out. I’m definitely the more laid-back one, and I feel like she’s trying to take advantage of that and walk all over me. Ughh
Post # 9
Here’s a question – if you guys have her bachelorette party the night before hers, is she actually going to be willing to go to yours? Especially if there’s any drinking involved, I can see her being hung over or tired and not want to do anything the next day and just totally blow you off. Is that likely to happen?
Post # 10
I would tell; her how busy you are that weekend (right before your wedding, I mean, come on!) and offer maybe a weekend in June (if you have one) or one in August. I don’t think you are being unreasonable. At some point, I might even say, “You know, it looks like this isn’t going to work. Perhaps you should have someone else plan it.” And let them. 😉